In these troubled times I was overjoyed to open my Sunday “Parade magazine” and see the answer to America’s prayers for economic recovery:

No more worries indeed!  Hallelujah!  (I hope Carolyn is having that safe delivered to the back door there in Perry Town, cause we all know you just can’t trust the neighbors anymore.)  It’s nice that she’s setting aside some of her hoard for the grandchildren, but if her grandkids start doing drugs and getting pregnant and dumping it all on her at least she has grandfather’s gun and a place to keep the restraining orders.  So get your order in quick and the Banker’s Armored Safe is awarded absolutely free!  You don’t have to ask yourself what Jesus would do.  We all know  JESUS SAVES.