Yesterday as I was enjoying the pastoral serenity of the surroundings of the office where I sometimes go to work, I had a sudden and clear thought of "This is what I want"  immediately followed by "So how do I get it?" (It's a quiet 2 acres of land in highly populated S Florida - home on one acre, the office in the house on the second).

I thought about the long, stressful, road the company owner had travelled to get it, and knew I'd long ago opted out of that path.  Had I made a grave mistake?

What had I wanted way back when, when there was still a chance to shape my career and my life  to reach a specific goal?  I'd never had a plan, or a path, or even a specific goal!  My  needs were simple:  have fun; be able to support a child as a single mother by age 40 in case I ever changed my mind and wanted one; find a true partner in life and work; feel somewhat finacially secure. 

So, I had a blast!  I had enough fun between the ages of 26 and 40 to last me a lifetime.  I was financially secure at age 40 had the need hit me (it never did); and I have had my partners, including the one of now, who may or may not last me the rest of my lifetime.  My "lifetime"  feels  quite abbreviated though, since I am now 50 and not 25!

But now there is something else I want.  It does not seem or feel achievable, yet I almost have the 25 year old's confidence that I can get it.  When I told my partner about this, he said "Find a man who makes a lot more money than me".  WRONG ANSWER! 

So we went out and bought lottery tickets :-)

We also had a serious discussion about how to get what we want.  I do believe in visualizing it but I know it also need concrete action.  I suck at planning, and I hate stress, and I am old and tired. 

Yet I know we can all get what we want, to a degree.  Unless of course, it is health that eludes us, and I thank the universe I do not face those problems yet.  Of course, I also want to be thin, which should be within my power yet ... I don't get there.  There are other wants that are within my control that I don't seem capable of achieving too.

Sigh.  Now all this talk of "want" seems childish and selfish, but if I spkoe of  "dreams" or "goals" that would be more palatable. Yes, these are purely personal, selfish things.  There is much I want in the wider world but all life, though we are so insignificant, comes down to "me" in the end, doesn't it?

So, I ask you all, what did you want when you were young, and how did you get it? What do you still want and how will you get there? 

Oh, and if you are still young, what are you wants and how will you get there? :-)