I think I hit a nerve with this morning's blog post: The Nebulousness of Chemistry.''
I was really unsure of whether to share something so personal-but I needed to in order to go back to sleep. I see now that this is probably what I should be talking about more often.
I'd like to expand upon the different ways in which women say ``I don't date your kind.' I'm doing this because in an age where we are supposedly so socially aware, there are still hurdles to hurdle, still rivers to cross.
In an age where we have a black President, there are still signs that bar some people from participating in life as others do, but instead of a sign that says ``No Blacks'' or ``No Irish'' it says ``No Crips''. And that sign is transparent. It's not posted on any wall or beside a drinking fountain; it's posted on a perspective employer's face when he's perplexed that a Dartmouth grad isn't the strapping young lad he's envisioned.
That blog is for another day. Today, I'm going to talk about how this applies to dating.
I've encountered `I don't date your kind' in a number of ways from the subtle ``I would've gone out with you even though you have cerebral palsy' to the aforementioned `you're too significantly challenged' to `I don't date your kind'.
The first one was the most painful because because it came from a woman who said she worked with people who have disabilities. When she told me that, I thought I had broken through a wall and connected with someone who would disregard the whole CP thing as my friends do.
She brought her son to lunch which was fine. I like kids and I was trained as a teacher so I enjoyed having him around. Of course, he got curious about the guy cutting wood and he went after the axe- and I alerted his mom. She was thankful for that but not thankful enough to date me.
My friends have never even brought up the issue of my physical disability. Not in high school, middle nor elementary school. It's because I like to make people feel good about themselves and they really responded to it.
I'm lucky to have such supportive friends and often wondered about what it would feel like if I didn't have these friends.
Thankfully, I didn't have any of these really negative experiences until I was an adult and could put them in perspective.
The second time it happened was when I went on a date with a lawyer I liked a lot. We went to walk her dog in the park after lunch and it was raining. She wanted to sit on the swings but they were an inch too high and I struggled to get on it until she stopped me. Can't help being short. At the end of our walk, her Chiuaua, Bruiser jumped on my leg for a pat. Animals liked me and I thought it was a good sign But then she said that she couldn't date me because she couldn't deal with my significant challenges. Then she asked me to lead her to Walmart so she could buy Bruiser food.
I was about to leave her right there- what she said made me feel like a servant. But I didn't want her to justify how she treated me by the way I left her at the park. So I lead her to the turn for Walmart and kept on driving. She got where she needed to go and I got away.
The `I don't date your kind' comment came from a teacher who said it over email. Email makes people bold and heartless which is why I try never to be that way. I am not heartless. I
t's okay because being trained as a teacher, I've seen some pretty stupid would be teachers. Teachers who don't know common things like those who can't name most of the States or that the White House burned in 1814 and Dolly Madison saved the picture of George Washington. Or that Andy Jackson was responsible for the Louisiana Purchase AND the Trail of Tears. And that he had slaves but was a pseudo-Abolitionist.
This may be a tall order but these are the things kids ask about. How much blood in the human body? About 10 pints on average. It makes up 7% of our weight.
And if you're not a trivia geek like me, Look It Up. It's a more importantskill than knowing all that stuff.
But the most important thing about being a teacher- or an ADULT is to have an OPEN MIND. We all encounter different people on a daily basis and keeping an open mind helps us change. There is no growth without change. I never was attracted to: Asian women, tatoos or piercings. My ideal used to be of the classic blonde, brunette or redhead variety. And the only Asians I knew were my cousins.
But now, that I'm adult I'm over all that. :-)