So. Here I am. I'm Kerry, it's nice to meet you. I'll tell you a little bit about myself. I'm 38. I have 2 children, 1 husband, 1 dog, a lot of jobs & responsibilities, panic disorder, a sense of humor, and an attitude I'm not afraid to use. I live outside of Boston on the North Shore. It's a nice life.

 I just started therapy for panic attacks. I've been having them regularly for about 15 years now. I finally decided 2 weeks ago that I want my old life back..well, minus the poverty, the extra weight I carried, and I will keep the kids and husband. I want to be fun again. I want to be able to drive my car further than the end of the driveway by myself. It's a hot car (for me). It has less than 1,000 miles on it. It's a 2009 Jeep Liberty. I look very cute in it. I'll look cuter in the driver's seat. I had my first panic attack ever in May of 1994. It was a week before getting my Bachelor of Science (yes, a BS degree) in Criminal Justice. I didn't think I'd passed some lit course and if I didn't, I wouldn't graduate. So, I panicked. Woke up from a dead sleep with a heart racing 200 bpm. Couldn't swallow. Dizzy. Raced to the emergency room and had an EKG. Found out it was an anxiety attack. From the day on..my life was never the same. I have now convinced myself that everything I do, or don't do, will cause an attack. The voices in my head (no, I don't hear God) race with whatever catastrophic thoughts I can come up with. "If I drive to the store, I could have a panic attack, get lightheaded, faint, the car will land in the river, the windows will be up, I will drown." Yeah. Being me is LOADS of fun. Actually, other than slight insanity, I love my life. 

So. You can all enjoy the journey of my life with anxiety. It'll be more than that because..well..I'm chatty. So, bear with me, as I take the journey to my recovery.