The Broccoli Blog

It's Almost Good for You

Kevin Broccoli

Kevin Broccoli
Location
Providence, Rhode Island, United States
Birthday
July 19
Bio
Thoughts, musings, ramblings, and occasional insight from the outside.

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FEBRUARY 10, 2014 1:02PM

I Read a Book Last Year

I used to be a compulsive reader when I was a kid.

Not just avid--compulsive.

I could sometimes read three books at a time and I was finishing a book everyday.

That was in addition to magazines, plays, and all sorts of other reading material.

Then last year I read a… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 7, 2014 5:57PM

I Read This Book Last Year

I used to be a compulsive reader when I was a kid.

Not just avid--compulsive.

I could sometimes read three books at a time and I was finishing a book everyday.

That was in addition to magazines, plays, and all sorts of other reading material.

Then last year I read a… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 3, 2014 12:57PM

The Way Christie Talks

Maybe I'm the only one who feels this way, it's entirely possible, but--

Governor Chris Christie sort of has...teacher voice.

At least, to me, it sounds like he does.

No disrespect to teachers, but what I mean is--

He has the sort of voice--especially at press conferences lately--that teachers use… Read full post »

I always had this very specific idea of what would happen if I became famous.

I believed--truly believed--that if I ever became famous, everybody who dislikes me or didn't believe in me or even all-out hated me would--wait for it--

Change
Their
Mind

No, seriously, this is what I… Read full post »

Before I begin this post, I want to impart the following information to anybody reading this:

I am a Democrat.  I am as Democrat as they come.  I'm a tree-hugging, pro-choice, pro-gay, bleeding heart liberal.

And this is going to be about Chris Christie and the George Washington Bridge scand… Read full post »

JANUARY 10, 2014 3:57PM

I Made Too Many Resolutions

I do this every year.

New Year's Day rolls around and I have a list of things I want to accomplish by the end of the year.

This year, I've upped the ante even more because I'm turning thirty in July, and I want to make sure I'm a fully-formed… Read full post »

JANUARY 9, 2014 2:32PM

And What's Your Plan for Season Two?

When I thought about writing something about how producers and writers of various television shows plan poorly for success, I started writing down a list of shows with concepts that couldn't possibly extend past three hour-long episodes, let alone an entire season, and then I ran out… Read full post »

This year I decided to try and keep all my negativity and angst off Facebook and put it somewhere more useful--like Twitter and blogs that nobody reads.

But, like a sheriff who goes on vacation only to come back and find out his town has been taken over… Read full post »

JANUARY 7, 2014 3:43PM

My Evil Twin Lives on Twitter

During the month of December, in an effort to be full of joy and light, I refrained from posting anything snarky on Facebook.

As a result--and I don't want to be too melodramatic about this, but--I nearly exploded.

The amount of nonsense and tomfoolery I wasn't able to respond to… Read full post »

I made a resolution this year to take more photos.

And then I thought about it and realized nobody really gives a shit about my Instagram.

I mean, it's nice that I can document parts of my life in order to appear interesting and busy all the time, but I… Read full post »

JANUARY 3, 2014 2:09PM

The Best Performances of 2013

Forewarning:  This isn't a Best Film or Best TV list.

Instead, I just decided to single out the performances that I thought were the best.  To be honest, there weren't a lot of overall movies or television shows that I thought knocked it out of the park this year, but there was/… Read full post »

I have to say, I always fall for this--

Somebody posts a list of things that will, allegedly, improve my life.

Now that it's a new year, people have ramped up posting this kind of stuff.

"28 Things to Do Differently in 2014"
"14 Things You Should Have Done in 2013"
Read full post »

NOVEMBER 7, 2013 2:21PM

We Need to Talk About "Snark"

"Snarky"   Adjective
°Snide and sarcastic; usually out of irritation; often humorously.

We need to talk about snark

It's become one of those words that I've always known, but never really used, until about a year ago, when it suddenly started pummelingRead full post »
JULY 15, 2013 7:22PM

Nobody's Happy For Anybody

When I was a little kid
I wanted one thing
One thing

I wanted to be famous

I watched endless hours of television
Movies, hour after hour of nothing but me
Watching all these famous people
MARCH 26, 2013 1:18PM

The Facebook Fishbowl

Today I'm thrilled to see so many people with red Facebook pictures demonstrating their belief in marriage equality.

Seeing all that red would normally make me start to believe that this is an indication of a changing tide.  In all actuality though, it might just mean that everyone I… Read full post »

This seems to happen to me all the time.

I post what I perceive to be an adorable little status that I'm super proud of--the same way a third grader might be proud when he makes his first q-tip snowscape.

The status either contains a wittyRead full post »

JANUARY 4, 2013 2:31PM

Sobriety Tests Can Be Fun!

I don't really drink, and by "don't really" I mean I never drink.

Ever.

And when you don't drink, people try pressuring you into drinking.

For years, I looked for that glowing moment when something would happen to show me that not drinking all these years has been a good… Read full post »

JANUARY 3, 2013 10:20AM

Sobriety Tests Can Be Fun!

I don't really drink, and by "don't really" I mean I never drink.

Ever.

And when you don't drink, people try pressuring you into drinking.

For years, I looked for that glowing moment when something would happen to show me that not drinking all these years has been a good… Read full post »

JANUARY 3, 2013 3:11AM

The Jekyll and Hyde Drinking Game

If you happen to see the production of Jekyll and Hyde that's currently playing at the Providence Performing Arts Center, you should consider playing the following drinking game.  Most of these rules, however, should work with whichever of the eighteen versions of the show you may see./… Read full post »
FEBRUARY 14, 2012 4:56PM

Attention is the New Currency

Last week seemed to feature a victory over ignorance, when JCPenny refused to fire Ellen Degeneres as their spokesperson because a group called One Million Moms threatened to boycott JCPenny because Ellen is an out-and-proud lesbian.

People were outraged. Apparently, there are a lot of homosexual… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 2, 2012 2:34PM

Can You Choose to Be Gay?

Cynthia Nixon recently got everybody in an uproar when she announced that she has chosen to be gay.

In other words, she's been with men and when she was with them, she was straight, and now she's with a woman, and she's gay.

I tried to find out if Anne Heche… Read full post »

JANUARY 30, 2012 3:48PM

Gays, "Comfort," and Theater

Right now, I'm in a play with naked men.

I should rephrase that.

I'm in a play that features nudity (not my own) and a bunch of guys showering.

Homosexuality also plays a part in the script, but it's not directly connected to the nudity.

These are two things you need… Read full post »

JANUARY 27, 2012 4:05PM

"Nice" and "Polite"

I often run into this situation with strangers--mostly in a professional context.

I'm polite.
The other person says or does something stupid.
I'm no longer polite.

People are always surprised when they're rude only to find that I'm going to be rude right back.

Usually their response is--

"You're not… Read full post »

JANUARY 26, 2012 2:47PM

The Atheist Doesn't Mind

Recently, a prayer banner was taken down at a local high school in the state where I live. The girl who wanted it removed is an atheist, and invoked separation of church and state. Obviously this set a lot of people off. Rhode Island is… Read full post »

JANUARY 24, 2012 1:47PM

Thoughts on the Oscars

Today's the day!

The nominations for the 84th Academy Awards were announced, and this is one of the most surprising ballots in recent memory.

Let's start from the top:

Best Supporting Actor

The big shocker here is Nick Nolte. He gave a great performance in a movie, but that movie… Read full post »