I have a confession.

 Whereas I can never resist anyone with dark brown hair and a tanned complexion (which is also something of a description of me--do I need therapy?  Yes, and yes.) blonde guys I can usually act pretty cool around because they don't do too much for me--

 --Except this one.

His name is Tommy and he works at Home Depot.  He's about 5'5, blonde, and is the tiniest thing I've ever seen in my life--a veritable pocket person.

The first time we hung out was at his house. Now, normally I would not consider this a date because a date implies "going out" somewhere, although I did have to "go out" to go to his place, he didn't, and so it's kind of only a semi-date...I guess.

We had a great time though, and I chalked him wanting to hang out at his place to either him wanting to get me in bed on the first date or him just being tired--either way I'm not all that displeased.

The second date, however--the one I'm counting towards the challenge--was once again at his place.  Okay, I thought, time to bring up the whole "always at his house" thing.  So I did.

TOMMY:  "Didn't you notice the thing on my ankle?

ME:  Oh...I thought it was an ankle bracelet, but now thinking about it--What's it for?

TOMMY:  I'm under house arrest.

Oh my Christ...

TOMMY:  Yeah, I was arrested for drunk driving and put on house arrest for a year.

ME:  I didn't know they put you under house arrest for drunk driving.

TOMMY:  Well, when they catch you the second time they do.

Annnnnd we're done.

TOMMY:  I used to be a really bad person. Just all around not nice. Really mean, manipulative.  All this kind of changed who I am.

Okay--is it bad I found that incredibly endearing?  Would I have found it endearing if he wasn't already adorable?  Utter quandry.  I called my Friend.

FRIEND: Ohhhh...that's so sweet.

ME: He's under house arrest.

FRIEND: I know, but just think--how's he going to cheat? He can't go out and meet new people. They only let him go to work and then home, right?

ME: Right, but I think you're missing the point.

FRIEND: The point is he's cute and in captivity.  He's like a little koala bear.  It doesn't get much better than that.

ME: I would be dating a felon.

FRIEND: You're telling me you don't find that hot?

ME: Let's say he was ugly--

FRIEND: Kevin, if he was ugly, it wouldn't matter if he were a felon or not, I'd be telling you to cut him loose.

ME: So there's no real way to gauge if continuing to see him is crazy or not because he's cute so he can get away with murder?

FRIEND: Wow, think about that metaphor for a second.

ME: It's not really a meta--

FRIEND: Anyway, gotta go.

Luckily, the problem took care of itself. Tommy decided that dating while under house arrest was probably not the best idea. We promised to keep in touch and maybe when he's up for parole...