The Broccoli Blog

It's Almost Good for You
JANUARY 3, 2013 3:11AM

The Jekyll and Hyde Drinking Game

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If you happen to see the production of Jekyll and Hyde that's currently playing at the Providence Performing Arts Center, you should consider playing the following drinking game.  Most of these rules, however, should work with whichever of the eighteen versions of the show you may see.

Here's how it works:

- Every time someone tells Dr. Jekyll his plan to separate good from evil is "crazy" take a drink.

- Every time someone says he's playing a "dangerous game" take a drink.  Take two drinks when the song "Dangerous Game" happens after they've already said "dangerous game" a thousand times (Plan on being very drunk by the end of the game.  Also, plan on needing to be drunk.)

- Every time something Constantine Maroulis goes from sing-to-shriek to the point where the lyrics are completely unintelligible, take a drink.

- Every time Deborah Cox decides not to riff, and quietly breaks the heart of every gay man in the audience, take a drink.

- Every time the trained singer playing Emma shows up her semi-famous co-stars, take a drink.

- Every time they utilize the multiple LCD screens making you feel like you're either at a really bad Michael Bay movie or a really great ride at Six Flags, take a drink.

- Every time you grin maniacally just thinking about what either of the New York Times critics would say about this show, take a drink.

- Every time you have absolutely no idea where the action is supposed to be taking place, take a drink.

- Every time someone's accent is so bad, you actually gasp in shock that these people have Equity cards, take a drink.

- Every time someone's murder is so poorly staged, you feel like you're at a bad murder mystery dinner theater at a rural bed and breakfast in New Hampshire, take a drink.

- Every time someone wanders about the stage, seeming to have missed a blocking rehearsal and never having gotten caught up, take a drink.

- Every time Constantine "transforms" by removing his glasses, taking his hair out of a ponytail, and whipping it around like Tawny Kitaen in a bad 80's music video, take a drink.

- Every time you try to remember who beat Constantine on American Idol the year he lost and then wonder why they aren't starring in this tour, take a drink.

- An hour into the first act, when you still haven't gotten to the Hyde part of Jekyll and Hyde, take a drink.

- If you make it to Act Two, take a drink.

- If you question the future of theater, take a drink.

- If--when lead characters start dying (Oops, spoiler alert!  Oops!  Don't go see the show.) --you actually think, Fantastic, maybe this means the show is going to end soon, take a drink.

You may not enjoy the show more just by playing this game, but at least you won't be able to remember it, and trust me, that's as good as it gets.

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