America's Got Talent:
Here's a recap of the evening's high and low lights:
Three tabletop puppeteers, who did an astoundingly low-tech routine with puppets that were essentially little pink worms.
A lowbrow execution of the high art of Kabuki theater who inspired Howard Stern to denounce them as "worthless hippies."
Somewhere in the mix was yet another Ozzy impersonator, this time with a Sharon Osbourne impersonator in tow, much to the delight of the real Sharon.
Twiggy the pet squirrel made a big first impression by peeing all over Nick's expensive suit. The judges dutifully filed outside to watch his talent, which was water skiing, which he did quite cutely around and around and around an oversized wading pool. But is the kind of act that's got somewhere to go? Though Howie Mandel was charmed by the versatile rodent and Nick forgave him for his dramatic entrance, it was a "no" from Sharon and Howard.
A paper artist who did some cool work with origami and shredded newspaper and cutouts but, again, was hard to imagine as a Las Vegas act, even with the hat, which was fashioned from two rolls of toilet paper.
Keep an eye out for the Scott Brothers, nappily dressed in black and white, whose robotic, impeccably synchronized dancing showed that standard mime moves can be energized by being performed in tandem.
The night's biggest charmer was Lindsey Norton, who was as giggly nervous and she was limber. She performed a brief but flawless floor routine of Olympics quality, with a few Chinese contortionist moves thrown in just to mix it up. Sharon was quick to applaud her embodiment of the American dream with talent, creativity and hard work.
But in the end, the part of the show where usually some highly unlikely contestant blows the crowd and makes us cry away came "Big Barry," a guy who'd make Danny DeVito look statuesque and who, well frankly, couldn't sing a to save his life. In the follow-up interview Stern ended up joining him on stage just to prove Barry's (lack of) height and the in the resulting banter the judges decided to send him to Vegas after all, clearly a case of something so bad it's good.
We'll not be seeing many of the in Vegas.