1. NYC 2010, interviewing for a hostessing position after leaving (sketchy) non-profit job of three years.
Interviewer: What's something you're really proud of that you've done lately? A big goal of yours that you have accomplished?
Me: Quitting my old job.
Interviewer: Excuse me?
Me: Hey, I'm really proud I actually quit.
Yes, I did get the job which was kind of terrible because there were so many cheeseburgers in front of me all of the time and I was too broke to actually eat them.
2. Retail work 2011, looking for seasonal holiday shift.
Interviewer: Tell me about a time that a co-worker was doing something you didn't agree with and how you dealt with it?
Me: Well, when I was counseling kids, one of my co-workers was in a cult. It was quite bizarre. I noticed that she was inviting the parents of the students to her church and didn't think this was right so I went to my supervisor, who was aware of her affiliations. He told me to tell her to stop. I tried to tell her but it was awkward because I worked with her all of the time. But yeah, I don't think she stopped.
Interviewer: Ah, what?
I also got this job. Somehow it had the most intense training ever despite the fact that I wasn't saving lives or anything....much more training that actual counseling had. How does that make sense??
3. Montessori classroom assistant 2012.
Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.
I tell her where I lived blah blah blah what I've done for work blah blah blah my experience working with kids blah blah blah that I love writing blah blah blah have done some comedy blah blah blah. "Oh!!!!! And I really love cats and cheese!!!!"
Interviewer: Yeah, cats and cheese are good.....
Not sure if I got this one, but I did treat myself to a great iced coffee and two chocolate munchkins on the way home!