I was talking via PM with John Blumenthal about scaling back on the amount of time and posts I create for Open Salon.  JB urged me to keep on keeping on. The truth is my real passion in writing that hasn't really been tapped into here is my sense of humor.  I know that I am viewed as the skeptical cynic with a hair trigger temper.  If you described me that way to the people closest to me they would laugh heartily.
 
In reality, I am a clown.  Many jokes may be inserted after that line, but the bottom line is it's the truth.  That's why I gravitate so much toward posts by people like John.  I love to laugh and I enjoy making people laugh even more.  Laughter is a commodity in short supply in America these days.  We sit down from a hard days work and turn on the tube to find that one of our own military physicians and an officer has committed mass murder.  What a way to end the day.

So I write this post with a bit of tongue in cheek humor mixed with a lot of reality.  We live in a nation guided by fear.  Even I have fallen into this carefully set trap on occasion.  We have fear of vaccinations for instantaenously deadly flu viruses.  If all of us men don't start popping little blue pills, our penises will all stop working.  If you fall asleep at your desk with a glass of water, you will most certainly drown!  You can drown in a thimble full of water, you know that, right?

Aung San Suu Kyi:  "Fear is not the natural state of civilized people."

Albert Camus: "Nothing is more despicable than respect based on fear."

Dorothy Thompson: "Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live. The most destructive element in the human mind is fear. Fear creates aggressiveness."

Henry James: "Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact."

Jeff Goldblum from "The Fly": "Be afraid, be very afraid." (This quote can also be attributed from every member of the Bush Administration.)

Fear.  Fear can control and guide people's actions.  Fear the Socialist Obama!  Your taxes are going to quadruple if you support this Kenyan born communist!  Illegal immigrants are taking over our country and they all carry disease! Don't eat a grilled hamburger you're going to get cancer!  Don't breathe the air outside it's poison.  Just don't breathe already!   Padlock your windows and doors because your neighbor has a high probability of being a child molestor or serial killer.!

Al Qaeda is coming to get you!  Stress will cause you to spontaneously combust so don't let the fear of me telling you this get you stressed!  H1N1 is going to wipe out the majority of our population this flu season!  For God's sake, don't get that flu vaccine, it's toxic!  The government has all of our phones tapped and our internet communications are being monitored!  The homosexicals are going to ruin marriage and kill us all with AIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not a big fan of 20/20's John Stossel, but he does a segment each week called "Give Me A Break!"  It seems appropriate right now.  Fear is used to control the masses.  If we are all kept in a static state of fear, we can and will be controlled.  Look at countries like North Korea, Iran and the former Soviet Union.  They were/are all controlled by a constant state of fear.  All throughout the administration de la Bush, we saw fluctuating threat levels all over the news each day.  None of it was real, it was always used as a ploy to reel the herd in and control via fear.

As horrific as 9/11's events were, all of those people who died have been blatantly exploited via politicians and the use of fear mongering.  We've had one war that began with the support of a lot of Americans to hunt down Osama Bin Laden and break up Al Qaeda and the Taliban.  That was quickly thrust aside and the real guise, a hunger and greed to control the world's oil supply followed.  The entire conquest was started and continued via the use of fear and that 3,000 person death toll has turned into hundreds of thousand dead and trillions spent.  "Fight'em over there so we don't have to fight'em over here."  For God's sake I don't want to wake up with some bearded Middle Eastern goat herder with an AK-47 standing in my doorway!  Help me Bush, help me Cheney!!!!!

The government wants to take all of our guns so shoot now and ask questions later!   Don't walk outside in the sun because you will get a melanoma and die a horrible death.  Stay inside and if you have to go outside, only do so to vote for our candidate because he/she is Irish Spring squeaky clean and his/her opponent is a fascist, smoking, terrorist sympathizing illegal immigrant baby killer!

For God's sake don't use Sweet n Low, it gives you cancer of the shoulder!  Drink red wine because it will heal  your heart from 30 years of gluttoness overeating self abuse.  Don't drink red wine because you will get diabetes and your liver will melt and you will die where you stand!  Drink milk, it does a body good!  Don't drink milk, it's full of fat and will clog your arteries.  If you don't drink milk right now your bones will start breaking slowly but surely!

PTSD, anxiety, depression?  PUSSY!  Suck it up!  Worrying about those things will kill ya!  We all have PTSD, anxiety and depression so shut the fuck up and stop whining!  Whining will kill ya!  Don't eat meat because they use steroids and antibiotics and if you do eat meat you will die!  Eat lots of meat because without the protein, you will die and only pussies don't eat meat!  Always wear shoes outside or you will most likely catch some staph infection and die.  Shoes cause cancer!  I'm not wearing no stinking shoes!

Shower heads carry deadly bacteria so no matter what do NOT take a shower!  The only way to avoid deadly bacteria is to shower thoroughly thrice daily.  If you don't you will die from a horrible bacterial and/or viral disease so make sure to shower off those deadly germs!  Women, if you wear a bra it will constrict the blood vessels in your chesticle area and you will end up dying from a blood clot!  Wear bras because if you don't wear a bra there's a 102% chance you will need back surgery.  NEVER have back surgery because it doesn't work and you can die under anesthesia!

If you don't read a book a day you will most definitely get Alzheimer's and die by the time you are 60-years old.  Reading destroys your eyesight and the paper used to make the pages and the ink used is carcinogenic and will give you cancer causing you to die a painful death!  The internet is satan.  Looking at internet images is Satan's way of infiltrating your soul!  If you don't believe me, go to my website and see for yourself!   If you don't work on a computer and keep your mind active you will die from Alzheimer's.

Culture of fear is a term that refers to a perceived prevalence of fearanxiety in public discourse and relationships, and how this may affect the way people interact with one another as individuals and as democratic agents. Among those who share this perception there are a variety of different claims as to the sources and consequences of the trend they seek to describe. -Wikipedia

Whatever you do, don't open an envelope sent through the mail.  It could very well have Anthrax inside and Anthrax will surely kill you!  For God's sake, stop e-mailing me and send me a letter the old fashioned way, through the mail.  If the USPS goes under, our economy will surely collapse and that's what the socialist bastards want!  We have to support these non-socialist entities like the USPS otherwise the Obamaniacs win!

Bristol, if you have sex you will get pregnant or catch and STD and you will die or your baby will be born with a birth defect like Down's Syndrome.  Now, I have to go to work ya know, I'm the Governor of Alaska after all and candidate for Vice-President of the good ole USA!  We can't let this socialist bastard win or he'll take over the world and we will all die a slow, horrible, painful death.  Now you and Levi be good while I'm gone.  No hanky panky, k?  If the liberal media calls while I'm out, don't answer the phone no matter what you two may be doing.  The liberal media will be the death of us all!  There's a gun by the front door if anyone shows up from CBS, especially Katie Couric.

If this health care reform gets passed kids, I want you to know that they will kill your grandma and grandpa.  You're both 18 now so make sure to write your Congressman/woman and tell them not to vote for health care reform, ok?  Now I've got to go give blood and plasma for extra cash.  I have these damned medical bill collectors calling at all hours threatening bankruptcy and we're behind on the house payments!  God, this stress is going to be the death of me!

Now I don't want to be perceived as going off on a rant here but most of the above statements, contradictory as they are, have been uttered.  We are taught to live in a constant state of fear.  FDR said "The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself."  He was a wise man who said many wise things and did many wise deeds but none were more true and fundamental than that one statement.  We are all stressed.  Stress causes people to eat.  Overeating causes obesity and obesity leads to heart disease and diabetes and then you are dead.  Don't say I didn't warn you!