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Yesterday I read a wonderful post by friend Beth Mann, Jaded Sex Advice for the Youth of America. I loved Beth's piece because it's not a sweeping generalization on men but an astute observation on a certain mindset of many men in America, particularly the twenty-something male mindset. They float from relationship to relationship in utter failure wondering what went wrong.
Beth's post needs to be read first so I'm hoping you will before I continue. The male in her story is very typical in his description of a self-centered sex life, held by more and more men in America not only limited to the twenty-something sects. (Pardon the pun.) I'm not saying there aren't self-centered females out there, even sexually, but women are predominantly giving in bed and quite often do not equally receive. That my friends is a shame.
Since I can remember my earliest sexual interest in females, I've always had the mindset of being a giver as well as a receiver. I don't know it it was the way I was raised or if it was innate or a little of both. I just know that I'm the guy who needs to give at least as much pleasure as I receive. That is in no way boasting or arrogance, it's my true inner feeling. I'm not going to say that I've been 100% effective but I can say that I have given 100% effort.
The particular male in Beth's story, when asked by her point blank if he "went down on his girlfriend" he replied that he used to, but not as much any more. Beth asked very validly if it were a hygienic issue and he replied no. Beth then asked if she went down on him and he gave an enthusiastic and thoroughly macho, "oh yes, of course!" Therein lies the disconnect my friends. "My girlfriend just doesn't seem to enjoy sex with me as much as she used to and I can't figure out why!" Really Einstein?!
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that the myth that liberals are better lovers than conservatives, on average, is true. To be "liberal" at its essence means to want others to have equality or just as much as you are entitled to in life. "Conservative" means, politically at least, to give as little as possible to conserve more for one segment of the population, namely themselves! You can send all the negative comments you like, this is just my observation and they also are astute and in depth over my lifetime.
It seems there may be some correlation between the changing approach to sex by some men and the changing, ever expanding fringe of right wing politics. Let's use two well known philandering politicians as examples. I would be willing to bet that Bill Clinton is a giver as well as receiver. He's competitive and I bet he enjoys giving as well as receiving (even if it's a cigar, hey, improvisation is a jazz man's forte'!) Now, think about Newt Gingrich. Once you wipe the vomit from your mouths, I will let the rest speak for itself. Three marriages and he's treated each one exceedingly worse.
So Beth, while I know your post was meant to be a single instance of self-centered young male sexuality and also meant to be more humorous than anything, I think you are onto something bigger. Something that needs to be explored further. By the way, I can't wait for the follow-up conversation (which will happen when that guy sees you) on "anal". On that note, I'm quite sure whomever did not read your post, will now...
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Mary Stanik
Beth Mann
Just Anthony
Breaking Bad Season 3
She Blogs
MissingK8
Salon.com
Comments
What?
:D
(by the way, the "pirate wimminz" are back.beth=one, i think)
raw male lust needs to be tutored a la
summer of 42.
it is a wild destructive force.
it CAN be
tamed for the Good.
(by the way, the "pirate wimminz" are back.beth=one, i think)
raw male lust needs to be tutored a la
summer of 42.
it is a wild destructive force.
it CAN be
tamed for the Good.
I need a popsicle!
-R-
LOL
Point 2, power has to be an aphrodisiac, because I doubt anything else about Newt Gingrich would turn a woman on. He is the epitome of everything I'd want to avoid in a man.
rated
just cant resist? I remember your flounce & thinking it was unlikely to hold.
uh, clinton pleasuring lewinsky with a cigar? that sounds reciprocal to you? haha
the whole pt of beth manns post was on cunnilingus, and she had very little information about what was actually going on in that other guys relationship, so I think everyone involved is drawing way too many conclusions. the young guy could have been giving her fabulous orgasms in the conventional way without cunnilingus, we wont know that will we?
Thank you Mary. I do have a very non-selfish manner but it's more out of mutual respect for me. If you don't respect yourself, you won't respect others and vice versa. As for the "anal" reference, that was Beth, not me and I don't believe guys should consider it or bring it up unless his partner does. (I speak as a hetero male, not excluding anyone purposely). My motto is don't ask your partner to do something you wouldn't do. Thank you Shiral. Maybe that's why we've been together 26 years since we met in college. I hope so. T my man, great to see you. It IS all about communication and that 's the crux of Beth's piece and the point we agree on. If a woman (or man) doesn't verbalize what he/she likes, how does one know without taking a chance of offending???? S.L. I totally agree with you. Prior to meeting my wife I was still the same way but found that not many of the guys I ran/run with were. It was all about busting the nut for them (the mindset back then when I was 20).
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♥╚═══╝╚╝╚╝╚═══╩═══╝─╚For sharing Beth here and making good sense of it.