January 01
Fairy Godmother
_________________________________________________ From time to time I include videos of me playing some instrument or another - all the songs I play are written by me unless otherwise stated.


Kitd's Links

My Links
JULY 13, 2011 9:06AM

Skip THIS!!!!

Rate: 4 Flag

When my boy was seven years old his mom and I decided he would benefit from joining the local baseball little league.  I don't know what HER excuse for this abysmal decision was, but having been in the parenting role for only a year at the time I can lay claim to noober ignorance.
I only got to go to a few practices and one game before Ella Rose banned me from attendance.  
The coach was an oversized, underbrained neandertal who thought the best way to motivate small children was to yell at them, ridicule them, harrass them.  I'm sure he was living out some demonic fantasy of being an MLB coach.  I'm sure he was a dismal failure in his relationships with adults.  I'm sure he was a lousy partner in bed.
I am fairly confident that under that pot bellied beer gut and gross, gruff exterior he wore pink and yellow flowered underpants.
At the single game I attended I was standing up at the fence.  My fingers were clenched in the mesh, sweat was pouring out every pore of my being, and my tongue was bleeding slightly from my teeth chomping on it to avoid embarrassing my boy and forever alienating Ella Rose by the public humiliation that would have ensued had I given voice to my vehement ire at the thick-headed, single digit IQ-ridden, morally depraved imbecile masquarading as my boy's coach.
Did I mention I really, really did not like this man?
I was teaching college at the time and one of my students also had a little boy on the league.   She approached me, politely ignored my physical anguish, and instead asked if I had a boy playing today.  I smiled and pointed to first base, where he was standing after being walked.  
Suddenly the air was split in two! I heard the crack of a bat, the ball went soaring high, higter, higher still over the second baseman's head.  The coach screamed "RUN, KID!" and my boy sprinted as fast as he....
Actually, no.  My boy did not sprint.  What he did was he skipped.  High strides.  Long strides.  Arms in the wind, a smile on his face.  He skipped to the second base, and he skipped to the third base, and he skipped home, and when he got there he bounced even higher in the air and landed with both feet smack in the middle of the mat. 
I was never so proud in my life! 


Your tags:


Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
Recipient's email address:
Personal message (optional):

Your email address:


Type your comment below:
OMG This is why we love and need you here at OS. I want to go skip now and no Neanderthal better tell me not to!!!
SKIP this? Yeah right, you may have well as put a red flag in front of a bull. I agree, some of these coaches are trying to live their failed baseball hero dreams and treat kids terrible. I played baseball all my life and I could tell you stories about some coaches that would un-curl you hair~:-)
Good for him. Those are the best moments.
HAHAHAHAHAHA, zanelle - HEY! Have you gotten the bunny slippers that I sent you yet? I'm working on a skipping animation for the AO version, which is what caused me to recollect this little story.

scanner - I can only imagine!! I've never understood that brand of "motivation." There are many things I do not understand....

BS - Indeed! Before I posted this I asked my boy to review it - I do this any time I take his name in vain. He giggled. He giggles alot. But I'm pretty sure he doesn't skip anymore. At least I haven't SEEN him. Hmmm - I must ask him about this!
Ha! Brilliant. There's a boy with the right attitude towards life. The coach was probably feeling last night's greasy dinner in his throat watching someone have that much fun playing ball.
Awesome! Truly awesome!! We should all be skipping a lot more than we do. My son did something similar during a game -- he sat down in the outfield and began picking flowers. I called him Ferdinand.
Hey, Stim - I agree! I think he (and a whole lot of others) miss the point of the game when they think the goal is to win. My boy knew more when he was seven than that guy will ever know his whole life!

Bellwether - Ferdinand sounds like a sharp fellow!