Maury Povich - Host of one of highest rated television programs in American history. Extraordinarily loyal following amongst the most downscale of Hillary's supporters: non-college, non-high school, non-middle school, non-elementary school educated women. Although he's hosted shows about gay Sumo wrestlers, trans-gender octogenarians and dwarfs marrying Nazis, he's very, very television savvy and knows the China issue inside and out (he's married to Connie Chung).   

Paul Reiser - Co-star of "Mad About You," a situation comedy which was very popular with working women back in the 90's.  Paul is lots of fun and everyone loves him. And we're pretty sure he's Jewish. If the Jewish thing is confirmed, the idea would be to stick a yarmulke on his head and have him do a kind of stump speech/stand up comedy act down in Boca for the next few months. "What do you call an old navy man and a Jewish actor when they move into the White House? The biggest supporters of Israel you've ever seen!" That kind of thing...

 

Lai Van Tan -- Mr. Van Tan was one of the Vietcong who tortured John while he was a P.O.W.  Granted, Lai does not know how to read or write or use utensils, but this is a great story! The idea here is to remind people that John was a P.O.W. while at the same time showing his capacity for forgiveness. Lai would kill two birds with one stone, which, impressively enough, he can literally do! We also have footage of him hypnotizing a walrus (not sure if this would help or hurt -- let's discuss). Lai would become the first illiterate, bird hunting, non-English speaking Vietnamese man to become Vice President. That's four historical firsts compared to Obama's one! (it would be five firsts if we include walrus hypnotizer).  

 

Strom Thurmond -- Ok, he's dead, but hear me out. Picking Strom's corpse would accomplish a few things. First, the base would absolutely love the pick! Second, it would show that John is immortal and doesn't need a VP. John should just come right out and say it: "I am immortal. I will never ever die." Who won't believe a former P.O.W? And what better way to highlight his immortality than picking a dead man? Finally, John would be able to showcase his trademark humor by making a bunch of "Weekend At Bernie's" jokes (Imagine how funny it would be if John appeared on "The View" with Strom's corpse!).  

 

Sarah Palin -- Way too risky.