Katie Couric - Thank you for being here, Governor Palin.
Sarah Palin - I'm all about being here.
Katie Couric - Are you and John McCain in favor of this $700 billion bailout?
Sarah Palin - I'm totally in favor of supporting the troops. My son is a troop.
Katie Couric - Right. But I'm asking about the bailout proposal for Wall Street.
Sarah Palin - You sure are. You betcha.
Katie Couric - So are you in favor of it?
Sarah Palin - Reform needs to be in the Wall Street. Not just sittin' on the curb of Wall Street. We need it in the middle of the street. Like a dead squirrel.
Katie Couric - Can we afford to give tax breaks to the wealthiest Americans right now?
Sarah Palin - Well, what do you mean by tax breaks? Like on a car? Those kinds of breaks?
Katie Couric - Less taxes.
Sarah Palin - You know, I'm really into the Bush doctrine. I'm like, supporting it.
Katie Couric - In the event that something were to happen to John McCain, are you ready to step in and be president?
Sarah Palin - I have the steadiness to be steady. I'm getting in there and really doing it. Not just not doing it. I'm not going to be like 'hey, presidency, talk to the hand.'
Katie Couric - But are you ready to become the leader of the free world?
Sarah Palin - Totally. I will totally lead the world. Any world. I will lead Mars or whatever too if those guys need a world president. Or just a Mars president. I took on the ole' boys club in Alaska and I can take it on in Mars.
Katie Couric - But I'm not asking about being president of Mars.
Sarah Palin - But I am answering about being president of Mars because a president person needs to be prepared for anything. I like to reform.
Katie Couric - I understand you only just got a passport last year.
Sarah Palin - You know, I was in Idaho for my friend Amber's wedding a ways back. Lemme tell you, Katie. We American taxpayers have a lot more in common with other countries than we think. There were Budweiser beers cans at that Idaho wedding. And Hot Pockets too. Those pizza flavored ones. Yummy.
Katie Couric - Wait, are you saying that Idaho is another country?
Sarah Palin - I'm saying they have Hot Pockets just like us. Pizza ones even. It's called 'the globalization.'
Katie Couric - But let me get this straight because I think it's important. Is Idaho another country?
Sarah Palin - You know, I'm not going to get into that right now. I think American men and women and men are focused on solutions. Not what's a country or what's not a country. Some places aren't countries. They're just things. And that's ok. Do you know the difference between a country and a thing?
Katie Couric - I'm not sure I do.
Sarah Palin - Hot Pockets.
Katie Couric - And finally, where will you and John McCain take this country?
Sarah Palin - We are going to take it somewhere really nice. A nice place where all American taxpayer people will totally be like 'hey, hello, this is really nice.'" And then we'll take it from that really nice place and over to a nicer place, a super duper nice one. More super duper nice than my cousin Marge even. And the American taxpayer people will be like 'hey, this is a super duper nice place. More than Marge even.'" Reform.
Katie Couric - Thank you, Governor.
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Comments
Do you !?!??know?!?!?!how funny that is?
it is as funny as it gets.
You are awesome.
Bravo.
You should be proud -- as should those who applaud you.
I don't get it.
Hot Pockets have ingredients, those ingredients cost money, and will cost more unless we drill.
I have inside information that when McCain arrives back in DC, Palin will be walking behind him waving, and making that Tiger Woods clinched fist move, while John Mellencamp's, "when the walls come tumblin' down" is blasting across the steps of the Senate.
Nestle, parent of the Hot Pockets brand, will be at the arrival as well, represented by several walking Hot Pocketeers in Hot Pocket suits, where they will unveil their new hot pocket, "The Palini." It is a Buffalo Moose encrusted Panini pocket, with a hint of gun powder spice and salmon essence.
Katie Couric is missing the big picture. With the success of our debtor nation plan, our risky and weakened currency leaves us wide open to improve foreign relations as the new Palini Hot Pocket FEEELS cheaper in Europe and Japan. This helps us close the trade gap and find common point of view. And that common point of view is simply that Hot Pockets are super duper nice. More than Marge.
As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border. It is from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there, they are right next to our state.
Or
You know, I'm not going to get into that right now. I think American men and women and men are focused on solutions. Not what's a country or what's not a country. Some places aren't countries. They're just things. And that's ok. Do you know the difference between a country and a thing?
Which is why Jon Stewart is funniest when he's injecting classic, straight-up jokes into his show. The satire really takes care of itself in the clips that he runs.
Think about it, if this transscript was published in different newspapers around the country, some people would believe it as 'gosple truth' and others would see it as satire.............. scary!
Please look at everyone sitting in the wooden benches, right out front there.
Now, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? So help you God?
As the bailiff, I await your reply, and, depending on your answer, the court may allow you to proceed to questions.
Funny interview!
Palin: "And they say Ritalin helps me stay focused on the planning of the ALASKA and KILLING ABORTION and REFORMING..stuff!"