George Chesterton

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OCTOBER 2, 2008 3:51PM

Transcript Of Palin - Couric Interview

Rate: 34 Flag

Katie Couric - Thank you for being here, Governor Palin. 

Sarah Palin - I'm all about being here. 

Katie Couric -  Are you and John McCain in favor of this $700 billion bailout? 

Sarah Palin - I'm totally in favor of supporting the troops. My son is a troop. 

Katie Couric -  Right. But I'm asking about the bailout proposal for Wall Street. 

Sarah Palin - You sure are. You betcha.

Katie Couric -  So are you in favor of it? 

Sarah Palin - Reform needs to be in the Wall Street. Not just sittin' on the curb of Wall Street. We need it in the middle of the street. Like a dead squirrel. 

Katie Couric -  Can we afford to give tax breaks to the wealthiest Americans right now?

Sarah Palin - Well, what do you mean by tax breaks? Like on a car? Those kinds of breaks?

Katie Couric - Less taxes.

Sarah Palin -  You know, I'm really into the Bush doctrine. I'm like, supporting it. 

Katie Couric - In the event that something were to happen to John McCain, are you ready to step in and be president?

Sarah Palin -  I have the steadiness to be steady. I'm getting in there and really doing it. Not just not doing it. I'm not going to be like 'hey, presidency, talk to the hand.' 

Katie Couric -  But are you ready to become the leader of the free world? 

Sarah Palin - Totally. I will totally lead the world. Any world. I will lead Mars or whatever too if those guys need a world president. Or just a Mars president. I took on the ole' boys club in Alaska and I can take it on in Mars. 

Katie Couric -  But I'm not asking about being president of Mars. 

Sarah Palin - But I am answering about being president of Mars because a president person needs to be prepared for anything.  I like to reform.  

Katie Couric - I understand you only just got a passport last year.

Sarah Palin - You know, I was in Idaho for my friend Amber's wedding a ways back. Lemme tell you, Katie. We American taxpayers have a lot more in common with other countries than we think. There were Budweiser beers cans at that Idaho wedding. And Hot Pockets too. Those pizza flavored ones. Yummy. 

Katie Couric - Wait, are you saying that Idaho is another country?

Sarah Palin - I'm saying they have Hot Pockets just like us. Pizza ones even. It's called 'the globalization.' 

Katie Couric - But let me get this straight because I think it's important. Is Idaho another country?

Sarah Palin - You know, I'm not going to get into that right now. I think American men and women and men are focused on solutions. Not what's a country or what's not a country. Some places aren't countries. They're just things. And that's ok. Do you know the difference between  a country and a thing? 

Katie Couric - I'm not sure I do.

Sarah Palin - Hot Pockets.  

Katie Couric - And finally, where will you and John McCain take this country?

Sarah Palin - We are going to take it somewhere really nice. A nice place where all American taxpayer people will totally be like 'hey, hello, this is really nice.'" And then we'll take it from that really nice place and over to a nicer place, a super duper nice one. More super duper nice than my cousin Marge even.  And the American taxpayer people will be like 'hey, this is a super duper nice place. More than Marge even.'" Reform.

Katie Couric - Thank you, Governor.  

Author tags:

breay, palin, couric, comedy

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Your fake interviews are like unto the fake news of John Stewart.
Do you !?!??know?!?!?!how funny that is?

it is as funny as it gets.

You are awesome.
but when Palin makes herself sound like an air-head white trash bimbo mimicking talking points, it isn't?

I don't get it.
Hey - you just took an old Bush interview from 2000 and put Sarah Palin's name on the answers.
Umm. This is a lot like the George Saunders column in the humor section of the New Yorker. Might want to throw a nod his way. You obviously read it.
I watched this interview and Palin performed brilliantly against the evil liberal emperess, Katie Couric. Few interviewers can handle Palin's unique and very personal interpretation of foreign policy, and how the real diplomacy needs to take place inter-state, not inter-continental.

Hot Pockets have ingredients, those ingredients cost money, and will cost more unless we drill.

I have inside information that when McCain arrives back in DC, Palin will be walking behind him waving, and making that Tiger Woods clinched fist move, while John Mellencamp's, "when the walls come tumblin' down" is blasting across the steps of the Senate.

Nestle, parent of the Hot Pockets brand, will be at the arrival as well, represented by several walking Hot Pocketeers in Hot Pocket suits, where they will unveil their new hot pocket, "The Palini." It is a Buffalo Moose encrusted Panini pocket, with a hint of gun powder spice and salmon essence.

Katie Couric is missing the big picture. With the success of our debtor nation plan, our risky and weakened currency leaves us wide open to improve foreign relations as the new Palini Hot Pocket FEEELS cheaper in Europe and Japan. This helps us close the trade gap and find common point of view. And that common point of view is simply that Hot Pockets are super duper nice. More than Marge.
You had me at, "my son is a troop". Very very funny. I think you should write for SNL and I reiterate that you are my top pick for Letterman's successor.
I was eating my lunch as I read this. I want you to know it's very painful when Coke Zero comes out your nose.
I'm assuming this is humor. But because it's so close that I can't tell, I think it needs a label saying it is humor. The actual interview by Couric of Palin is sadly not terribly different, and would itself qualify as humor if it were not so real and terrifying. I don't like it when the Republicans mock the Democrats in ways that can be confused with truth. I can take humor in either direction if it's properly marked, and it's not being made fun of that I object to--it's confusion in labeling. Sorry to sound so unfun.
I mean, how would you know which of these two answers is fiction:

As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border. It is from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there, they are right next to our state.

Or

You know, I'm not going to get into that right now. I think American men and women and men are focused on solutions. Not what's a country or what's not a country. Some places aren't countries. They're just things. And that's ok. Do you know the difference between a country and a thing?
Perfect point to make, Joan. We are beyond satire at this point. Just look at transcripts of cable news shows or politician interviews and you cannot tell the difference. This has been the case for a long time now.

Which is why Jon Stewart is funniest when he's injecting classic, straight-up jokes into his show. The satire really takes care of itself in the clips that he runs.
Is this the real interview? Or is it the fake news version?

Think about it, if this transscript was published in different newspapers around the country, some people would believe it as 'gosple truth' and others would see it as satire.............. scary!
K.M., please raise your right hand and put your left hand on the Bible.

Please look at everyone sitting in the wooden benches, right out front there.

Now, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? So help you God?

As the bailiff, I await your reply, and, depending on your answer, the court may allow you to proceed to questions.
We shoulda drilled those hot pockets, you betcha.

Funny interview!
Scary how close we came to this being a reality. Insanity that the GOP thinks it will be a reality. And perfect that she just can't keep her mouth shut. PALIN 2012....Yeah....PALIN 2012...Yippie...PALIN 2012.

Palin: "And they say Ritalin helps me stay focused on the planning of the ALASKA and KILLING ABORTION and REFORMING..stuff!"