Restore Our Future, the powerful pro-Romney Super PAC, has initiated an aggressive campaign of drone attacks targeting Newt Gingrich. Several hundred Romney drones were seen yesterday morning over Sioux City, Iowa and there is speculation that hundreds more will be deployed soon. “I hear that Restore Our Future has over 5 trillion dollars to work with,” said GOP strategist Mike Murphy, who is unaffiliated with a campaign. “That kind of money buys you a hell of a lot of firepower.” 

The drones, also known as remotely piloted aircraft, are made by the powerful defense contractor Northrop Grumman, which is Mr. Romney’s largest corporate contributor. A well-placed Pentagon source, who insisted on anonymity, said the drones are manned and operated by contractors from Blackwater, the private military company that played a substantial role in the Iraq War. There are also reports that Restore Our Future purchased the expensive drones with a 2 trillion dollar interest free loan from Goldman Sachs, which provided the financing with a portion of the taxpayer funded bailout money it received in 2009. Restore Our Future is reportedly planning to pay back the loan in early February, after its initial public offering, which Goldman Sachs is underwriting – along with Bain Capital.  

Mr. Gingrich was seen late last night trying to escape the Romney drones. “I saw this fat sucker in a suit haulin’ ass alongside a herd of cattle,” said Hank Vandermolen, a wheat farmer near Waterloo. “His big 'ole head was lit up by one of those infrared target lasers," continued Vandermolen. "Newt lost 'em after he tripped and fell  into a corn patch.” 

There is speculation the drone campaign was planned and organized by Stuart Stevens, Mr. Romney’s senior campaign strategist. Federal election law forbids coordination between presidential candidates and their affiliated Super PACs; but it does allow the campaigns to provide ‘tactical and logistical support’ for ‘limited drone campaigns.’ “We have volunteers providing water bottles and energy bars to some of the ground pilots and sensor operators,” said Mr. Stevens. “Which is completely within the law.”

A source close to the Gingrich campaign admits the Romney drones have taken their toll, but insists the strategy will backfire. “We’re going to continue running a positive, issues-based campaign,” said the source. “Look, voters see over a thousand drone attacks and they begin to tune out.”