It all started in 1985 when I was 18. I had graduated from High school and had also graduated from beauty school at the same time, so when I got my diplomas, I was already armed with a carreer, and started working right away. I had several best friends, one of them was a paramedic who I did things with quite often. My very best friend from high school, well, we had been inseparable through school, and one day she disappeared. I had briefly dated a guy who wasn’t that important, but who had taken me to a party and gotten me extremely drunk, and I had ended up in a hospital, 25 miles away from my home. He dropped me off, with no shoes, the hospital called my parents because I had alcohol poisoning. The stuff he was giving me to drink tasted like cool-aid. He was drinking age, I was not. Not long after, My best friend, come to find out, got pregnant by this guy, unbenounced to me, and the two of them ran off and got married. I got a letter from her several months later, and was crushed. Not for him, but for her. I had really missed her, and had no idea what had happened to her. She had been like a sister to me. Turned out, he had been going to school to be a minister. Go figure.
I met my future 1st husband at a mutual friend's party. I had actually known him for a couple years, having seen him around, school, with friends, etc. We started dating, and I fell head over heels for him. Looking back, "Alex" was very charming. He got along well with my family, and was generally very liked. It would be about 2 years before I found out his "secret".
Alex had no ultimate goal in life. After he graduated, he wasn't even working. He lived with his mother and younger sister, (whom I didn't get along with AT ALL) , and would visit his dad and stepmom every now and then, that at the time, lived on the western slope of Colorado. He also had a step-sister and step-brother who lived with his father. I had met them a couple times, and they were very nice and accomodating to me. Same thing with his step-siblings. I got along with them very well. Alex's mother was a bit different. I couldn't quite figure her out. I think she just tolerated everyone. Sometimes she was nice, sometimes not. It really depended on when she around her son.
The entire time we dated, Alex never had a job. I should have taken notice to that, but I was just too facinated with him I suppose. One day, when we talked about getting married, I brought up the idea of the Air-Force, and how everything is paid for, and suddenly the wheels started turning. It wasn't long after that he actually enlisted. I went months without him, getting letters every week, and planning a wedding while he was gone. I also had to buy my own engagment /wedding ring. I was a little upset about that at the time, but figured it was just because he was in "boot camp". I ended up paying for everything.
While he was away, I really didn't hear from his family all that much, to ask how the wedding plans were going, or any of that. Alex got back from boot camp, and nearly spent every waking minute at our house. He returned the last of July in 1986, and our wedding was August 2 1986. He was due to be on the base where they were sending him, by the 2nd week of August. THAT QUICK. It was kind of scary.
I had everything planned, our wedding, ( which my parents paid for) the reception, (which my grandparents paid for), and also had to have all my things packed to move to California where we were to be stationed. It was very hectic. The night of the rehearsal dinner, I didn't find out until weeks later, but My Mom and Dad and Alex's Mom and Dad & Stepmom all got into a heated arguement. Aparently it was over what kind of person I was marrying. Now... WHY wasn't I told any of this??? Probably because my Dear parents didn't want to burst my bubble. But isn't that what parents are there for? To help you along the way? I mean... I was 19 and about to get married, and MOVE to California. I had been dating Alex for almost a year. (well not really, because he was off at boot camp for 3 months ), and then my family finds out some things the night before I get married, and decides not to tell me. Well..... hmmm.
At any rate, Come wedding afternoon, and I had friends, family, AND ex-boyfriend in the church waiting to see me get married. According to my Mother, said ex-boyfriend was so emotional about me getting married, he had to bring friends for support, and nearly couldn't stay to watch it. It probably SHOULD have been HIM up there.
On the way down the isle, as I looked at my best friend/ maid of honor smiling on the stage of the church in her purple dress, her sunburn showing through her make-up, I wondered what led me to that point in time. I never thought I'd have been getting married at the age of 19. Never. But I WAS happy. Just then, my Dad leaned over and whispered into my ear. ".. you know, you don't have to go through with this. You can call this off right now, and I won't be upset."
For MY dad to say something like that was EPIC. He was the most tight, frugal man with his money, and he just spent all this cash on this wedding. The dress, the flowers, the church, the limo... you get the picture. Why was he saying this to me NOW... walking down the isle???? I looked at him and simply said, "Dad.. I love him". He nodded to me, and I saw a tear in his eye. I should have known then that something was really wrong.
I married Alex that day.