We had now been in California for about a year. Alex was lying to me daily, whether it was where he going, or something as simple as whether he took the dog for a walk. I was getting really used to being a dectective and checking up on where he was and if he was actually at work when he said he was. After all, it was the military.
My dad had taught me how to budget my finances before I was even out of the house, and how to balance a checkbook, so when we got married, I was surprised when Alex let me handle all of that. I kept the finances in really good order, but noticed he was cashing his checks now before putting them in the bank, and conveniently forgetting where he put the stub, so I couldn't see how much the gross amount was. This was really irritating me, concidering his pay was getting less. Less?? That was impossible. More lies.
I made some phone calls and found out where I needed to go to get copies of his pay stubs. That was pretty easy. It turns out he was filtering 200 or more dollars out of each paycheck for... whatever. Meanwhile, we were stuggling for food, and meanial items. One day, We were at the grocery store, and I knew we didn't have a whole lot of money to spend, so I actually took a calculator so I wouldnt go over, and be embarrassed at the counter having to put things back. I told him we were tight on money, but that we had to get specific things at the store. When we were walking around, he started acting funny, looking around. Suddenly, he starts grabbing food, hamburger, buns, soft items like that, and shoving it down my pants and then zipping up my sweater. I was mortified! I started to take them out before someone saw and he grabbed my arm, and said "Don't you dare! We need those! It will just look like you're pregnant, so just keep on walking." I started to cry as he held onto my waist and he had me walk out of the store stealing food. When we got to the car, It turns out , he had food in his clothing too. I NEVER did that again, but it made me physically ill.
About a week or so after that, we were at home one evening watching tv. It was pretty late, and it was around the holidays. We had adopted a dog from the local shelter a few months prior, and he needed to go out. Alex said he would do it, so he put on his coat, and I went into the bedroom. About 5 minutes later I walked out into the living room, and there was the dog! No Alex, but the dog! So I sat there and waited and about 15 minutes later he comes running inthe door, slams it behind himself , has an armload of something, and throws it down on the kitchen table. Curous of course I walk over to the table to find a table full of mail. NOT OUR MAIL!! He went out in the dark and went through our neighborhood and stole everybody's mail that was still in their mailboxes, and since it was near the holidays, there was cards, and presents, etc! I looked at him as if I didn't even know him. Who WAS this person?? It was NOT the person I saw as I was walking down that church isle, that's for damn sure. I didn't want ANY part of that, and I told him so. Get rid of the mail, or I'm gone... Is what I said. Obviously he couldn't return it, he'd be arrested.
Welll he got rid of it, alright. The dumbshit opened it all, and actually took the money in the cards, and some of them had checks in them, and he was stupid enough to try and cash them at OUR bank. I have no idea how. But I got a phone call from the bank asking questions. He had also stolen one man's box of checks, and actually written HIMSELF a check, and cashed it. The bank called me at home, looking for him, and told me what happened. This man of course was furious, and thinking about pressing charges. He wanted his money back. Well Duh. The bank closed our account, and we'd be lucky to even be able to open another one. Really nice.
Was I finished with this guy yet? Just about. Cut to about a month later when we were out running errands, and I went one way, Alex went another, and we were meeting up in like an hour and a half. When I got back to the car, he was waiting in it for me. There was a towel iin the back covering something up. I put my things in the car, and moved the towel, and there was a shotgun and a handgun under it! I nearly fainted. I almost screamed but there were peaople around so I got into the car, shaking, and asked him where the hell he got them. "I saw them in the cab of this redneck's truck, so I stole them. We better get out of here..."
I swallowed my pride and asked my parents if I could come home, although they had re-located to Albuquerque NM, and 2 weeks later I had my stuff packed up and I left him. I had definitely had enough. I was NOT going to end up in jail for him. And that was definitely where he was going to end up.
Only a year and a half of marriage, and I was leaving.
I got to Albuquerque and things were great. I got a job doing hair again, using what I had gone to school for, and started making friends. I was keeping in touch with my friends back in California, and they were telling me what all Alex was up to. He was talking about me night and day, depressed, and missing me, blah blah. I made the mistake of talking to im a couple of times and that charm of his that won me over the first time, started all over again. My parents sat me down, however and had a long talk with me.
The night of the rehearsal dinner, they got into a heated arguement with Alex's family. His mother, and his Dad & stepmom. I never knew about this, and asked why they didn't tell me about it. For aobvious reasons, they wanted me to be happy, and knew I loved him. What they had to tell me was quite a shock. His parents had told my parents that Alex was a habitual liar, and and quite the accomplished theif. WOW.. really??? And this wasn't something I NEEDED to know??? Apparently, his Dad, when he had his house built, had a floor safe bulit into their bedroom, especially for the reason to keep items hidden FROM ALEX. He had stolen so many things from them, that they had to do it. His Mother even concurred, and said that Alex had a real problem. My Parents actually sat there, and tried to stand up for him, not knowing him, and blamed them, for whatever reason. Come to find out, when my parents were packing to move to N.M, they found all kinds of things missing that had been stolen from them. BY ALEX when he had stayed at our house. I was mortified. How could I let this happen? How could I not see it?
I was now considering divorcing this man .