This week’s episode served as the final episode in the 8-part marketing presentation that brilliantly defined Sarah Palin as a political brand while simultaneously putting the nail in the coffin of her presidential ambitions.  It seemed like a good idea I suppose – using the ruse of… Read full post »

This week’s episode took us from Afognak Island, where we learned about the Alaskan logging industry, to Kodiak Island to race cars and watch bears.  I’m not going to sugarcoat this for you, folks - because there’s just no way to get around how incredibly dull it is to watch Sa… Read full post »

The episode began with a close up of a “Live Broadcast, Do Not Enter” sign – handwritten on cardboard - which the Palins tacked up outside of their house while Sarah delivered her Fox News commentary from their home studio.  No fancy-pants Hollywood set here, commies – ju… Read full post »

Sarah Palin succeeded in doing the impossible this week - engendering sympathy and perhaps even a little bit of admiration when she faced her biggest wildlife challenge to date – Kate Gosselin.  For those unfamiliar with this pestilence, Kate Gosselin is the mother of 8 young children, for… Read full post »

Sarah’s freezer is empty, so it’s time to go a huntin’. 

She explains how important this is for her family, because the key to their survival is making sure there is enough meat to tide them over for the winter.  “The rifle in your hand could mean food on… Read full post »

Sarah loves work. 

Sarah loves work so much that she and work should get a room and make sweet, procreational, Christian love.

During this week’s hour long infomercial, she talked about how her son Track “needs to learn his father’s work ethic” and how every decision s… Read full post »

Introduction

Before we get into the specifics of the final two dances, and the announcement of the winner, I wanted to remind everyone of what we’ve been through together.  It has been a strange journey. 

Do you remember that David Hasselhoff was a contestant this season?  And t… Read full post »

I suppose I should be happy.  This time last year, there were perhaps three people in America still tuning in to “Dancing with the Stars,” many viewers having abandoned the show after Kate Gosselin was mercifully put out of our misery a few weeks before the finale.  This season,… Read full post »

In this edition of “Sarah Palin’s Alaska,” mama grizzly demonstrated that she works harder, gets dirtier, rises earlier, cares more and remains perkier than all of the liberal pansies who are stealing the American dream from hardworking families. 

Before we travel to the halib… Read full post »

Last week, there were two couples left in danger of elimination at the end of the results show, and Bristol Palin wasn’t one of them.  Since the “final two” are not necessarily the “bottom two,” the producers knew that it was more likely we’d believe that Bran… Read full post »

Each week, I end my recap by predicting the “bottom three” dancers as decided by judge and viewer votes.  And each week, someone points out that I’ve listed the same three names over and over again.  Because none of them ever go home.

My bad.

Apparently I’m out of… Read full post »

You can say what you want about Audrina - and I certainly have over the past few weeks - but even during the most stressful and upsetting of times she conducted herself with grace, poise and elegance.  After her elimination last week, she dined with her mother at an LA Restaurant… Read full post »

Marketers have known for years that sex sells when it comes to cars, clothes, cosmetics and Disney stars - but we learned last week that the same adage doesn’t extend to 70-something, nostalgic TV moms.  Florence did her best to seduce us, having decided early on that she didn’t want… Read full post »

So, Situation, are you surprised that you got eliminated from the competition last week?

“I, uh, you know - don’t think of it as getting eliminated if you will - per se.”

No?

“Some people may call it ‘an elimination’- but that’s just a fallacy that goes ba… Read full post »

I knew it was coming, but I still physically recoiled when Margaret Cho was cut from DWTS last week.  I suppose most of that has to do with the fact that I was losing a member of my team – a rainbow-tasseled, whirling dervish of gay advocacy who used her low… Read full post »

We said goodbye to Michael Bolton last week.  The only person who seemed to be surprised about that was Michael himself, who called the wah-mbulance and went ‘Real Housewives of New Jersey’ on Bruno for disrespecting him and his sad zombie doggy dance.   “Bruno owes m… Read full post »

The Hoff was offed last Tuesday night – sending dancing show re-cappers the world over into fits of panic.  How could a country obsessed with train-wreck television reject the prospect of an endless supply of David Hasselhoff crazy?  You’re telling me that the Kardashians can ha… Read full post »

It’s that time again – the parade of celebrity backwash known as “Dancing with the Stars” – perhaps a show that would be more accurately titled “Dancing with Has Beens, Soon Not to Bes, an Old Fart and a Sports Star.”  There’s no great mystery to t… Read full post »

Thanks to the French Open tennis final on Sunday (congratulations, Rafa) we didn’t have the pleasure of marveling at David Gregory’s oddly perfect “Meet the Press” hair – so this week I watched Jake Tapper get run over by all of his guests on ABC’s “This Week… Read full post »

This week, the Sunday political talk shows had one thing in common – the BP oil spill - how it happened and how it’s going to be fixed.  Remember ‘Operation Top Kill’?  No, not the gay snuff film – it was that completely logical thing where they were going to s… Read full post »

Before we reveal our 2010 Dancing with the Stars Champion, let’s take a walk down memory lane and celebrate our fallen stars – a ragtag crew of scrappy survivors – and the most colorful, if not always the most admirable, cast of DWTS characters to date.  They each returned to t… Read full post »

It’s finale season, and one of my favorite shows is ending – largely following the script that has been written on the wall for many weeks: two clear favorites pursued by a pretty blonde upstart with a disarming smile, heart-warming back story and folksy charm.  But I’m not her… Read full post »

I’m feeling a little bit down as I sit here, remote in hand, getting ready to do my Dancing with the Stars recap. All of my favorites are gone, you see – the ones I liked to write about anyway - and I wonder what’s left to say.  I didn’t like… Read full post »

I have exactly 2 hours to get this recap together.  And since the show is 2 hours long, I really have no idea how I’m going to pull it off.  I’m dog-sitting for friends of mine you see, and they have an adorable 10-month old puppy named “West” who decided that… Read full post »

And then there were six (or as Chad would say, “seis”.)  Last week we lost our beloved Jake in a not-so-shocking elimination where he cried like Lindsay Lohan’s money manager and pledged his undying love for dance partner Chelsie - while doing his best to remember his/… Read full post »