Howdy-doody, there!
It's me, your typical college drop-out. I'm the daughter that had high hopes in fashion design, and did everything she could to convince her divorced and remarried parents that fashion was it, that broke up with her boyfriend to start a life in the big city, and failed miserably. Oh sure, I'm nice to be around, but I'm all in all a total flake that can't hold a steady job to save her life. I bought a 30-year-old car with over 190k miles on it specifically because Dad told me not to, as a declaration of my independence against my parents--who I am still living with, by the way, and not paying rent to.
Let me get a boyfriend that's financially stable that I can leech off of, emotionally, and whine to about my problems, and let me just distract myself that way. I'll be with him until we break up, and then I'll find another. And another. Why can't I find a job? It's not where I want to be for the rest of my life. I'm so restless that I can't even sit still long enough to realize that my destructive habits are crippling not only me, but the cosigners of my student loans, who--by the way--are too nice to let me know that the bills are piling up.
A year and a half later, when I actually have a boyfriend that I love and actually have a plan to get back in school for real, and pursue a realistic career in this crippling economy. What could possibly go wrong? Oh, right...the piling amount of debt that I've been ignoring. And let's not forget about all the fraudulent checks that have been cashed into the bank account I forgot I had in Los Angeles! Now, my credit is shot because some douchebag opened, like, seven different cell phone accounts under my name and never paid any of it back for me, and I've been so out of the financial loop for so long that I have no clue what to do. What do I do? Run across the country to spend the summer with my mom, finding myself.
While I'm there, exploring my options and--slowly but surely--getting everything in order with my admissions advisor for my new college at home(so I don't have to spend a lot of money and be away from my family), I get a phone call. It's a debt collector from my student loan people. Fuck.
Normally, I would hang up. Normally, I would freak out and pretend that I'm not me and that the real me is in Finland. Unfortunately, I recently read Confessions of a Shopaholic and don't want to let it get that out-of-control, because, quite frankly, I don't have that kind of energy. Or that many credit cards. Or a job. Or a financially savvy man in my life. (Well, I do...but only because he pays his bills early. He doesn't wear suits or have a British accent.) So I swallow my fear and face my problem head on. I explain the entire situation and, voila, it turns out that there ARE options!
Financial stuff really isn't that scary, it only SEEMS scary. Sure, there's money involved and we could all use a little more of that in our lives(I secretly loved Abba for that song alone), but the point is that we live in a crippling financial time. That doesn't mean that we have to be scared. All the times mean is that people are a lot more understanding now and we all have a lot more options out there. Call me crazy, but there really has never been a better time to be in debt. It's a trend, now! There are options, magazines, people making a difference in the world by finding loopholes and going on talk shows and talking about it. We never talked about the financial crisis before because nobody felt like we needed to. Where did that get us? That's right, nowhere!
So I got brave. I talked to the woman and spent my entire afternoon running back and forth between the library and the bookstore to use their respective printers and faxes and wireless connections in order to get the right forebearance documents in order...and you know what? It really wasn't that bad! It made me feel empowered, taking control of my life like that.
The biggest thing I can tell people in debt from student loans is that there are options. There are many ways that you can get things in order. Don't be afraid of the systems; they are actually there to help you. Big shocker, right? Yeah, I was pretty shocked, too.
Running away from things doesn't make it go away. We often know that it makes things worse, and we often know that we just feel worse and worse when we make excuses. What are excuses, anyway? A wise man once said that excuses are lies that we tell ourselves to avoid unpleasant truths. (ie, "I don't have time to work out." Surely, if you don't have time to work out, you don't have time to drink with the buddies or watch tv after work.) A wiser man once said that excuses are like assholes--everyone has one and they all stink. (No smart quip for that one. That one is the quip.)
I know this sounds like a rant from a kid that doesn't know anything about life. But, really,what's to know about life? You all love watching me act out life in the movies, remember? Everybody loved "Post Grad," or "Confessions of a Shopaholic" and all that junk. Everybody loves a young girl struggling with her demons of debt and shopping and chocolate habits, and that's why they've made so many movies about it. We all know the same thing about life: it sucks sometimes, but it's all we've got. That's it. The end. Case closed. All we can do is make the best of it by making some changes. Don't be like everybody else unless you want their results--to be buried alive in debt. And foreclosed/repossessed on. That sucks. Seriously.
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Thomas Rogers
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Comments
It's a tough transition from debtor to debt free, but it is a worthy goal - better yet, it's an attainable goal. I wish you well on your journey to financial well being. In the meantime, you're right - you have plenty of company out there struggling to make minimum payments and hoping the next paycheck clears before the next payment is due.
Chin up, focus, and make the world work for you. You've got a real shot at it now.
Good choice to live at home for a while. The utility people aren't as understanding. I worked the other side of the street as a debt collector for a few months. My favorite excuse was "I'm a student. I don't have to pay my (electric, gas, phone) bill until I graduate in four years." Yeah right.
Good luck with your life!
Fortunately, I had a friend who worked as a debt collector and told me that the very best thing I could do was to be very open and honest with these debt collectors since it is in their best commission interest to work with me---at least that's the way it was in the mid to late 90's. So, that's what I did. I'd call them up, turn myself in, and I would keep talking until we got late fees dropped and arranged miniscule little payment plans that I knew I could actually afford. I never went with their first offer, I always negotiated for something less and told them I simply could not, would not be able to make that monthly payment at the moment.
I am way way better off financially now, though my husband and I don't make a lot of money. You can let most things go for a bit, in a pinch, and delay payments on many things but you simply can NOT miss a minimum payment on anything credit-related. If you foresee this happening to you call ahead and keep calling and get a manager, be pesky pesky pesky to keep things off your credit rating. (I've gotten a missed payment erased here and there but you have to follow-up). Also, a Clean Credit program is worth the small investment in the short-term to see what needs to get cleaned up. That's what I learned.
sorry, I guess i went on long, here. but your post took me back ten years. Keep this new found insight with you always because it really isn't so much how much money you have but just managing crises and talk talk talk. You're so right, it does work. And why wouldn't it? The more they work with you, the more likely they will get your money.