My wife refers to you as my Imaginary Friends (even though she’s technically met one of you). She observes that I spend an inordinate amount of time on the computer arguing with Imaginary Friends and she does not appreciate losing time to those Imaginary Friends who are ultimately a great deal more frustrating than enlightening. So, for those instances when I encounter particularly frustrating Imaginary Friends, she has composed the following missive for my use:
Dear [Fill In Name Here],
I have concluded that you are a dope. I am now going to stop trying to teach this pig to sing.
Love and kisses,