October 01
Male, Jewish, in my extremely early sixties, married with kids (well, at this point I guess that should be "kid"). Thanks to Lezlie for avatar artwork - sort of a translation of my screen name. "Salaam" is peace in Arabic, hence the peace sign. (No, my name doesn't mean "hunk of meat" and yes, the pun is intentional.)


Koshersalaami's Links
FEBRUARY 2, 2013 12:02AM

Scary Me

Rate: 11 Flag

I often have reason to visit my daughter's middle school, for a variety of reasons, like to refill her lunch account. When you enter the building, for security reasons you have to go to the office and get a visitor's pass. You fill in some information, look into this little camera on top of the computer screen, snap the shot, and print this little temporary badge you stick on your shirt.

I fool around with these a lot. I list my first name as Zombie, look crazed into the camera, and list the purpose of my visit as "eat brains." Sometimes I'll just be blatant about it all and under purpose of visit I'll type "embarrass daughter." This is actually redundant. She's twelve; I embarrass her by merely existing.

That's actually an exaggeration. She's in chess club now, utterly not the type, but I used to play a lot as a kid and one day I happened to be back from a business trip early, so I stopped in to her chess club meeting (because I have to drive her home after chess club) and taught the kids something called Monster Chess. That, oddly enough, boosted her status. Let me tell you - that's rare for the parent of a twelve year old. So now she likes it when I show up.

(In case you're curious: the way Monster Chess works is that white only gets two pawns and a king while black gets a whole set, but white moves twice each turn rather than once. Once you figure things out black can always win but, before that happens, if you're white and you know what you're doing you win a lot and completely freak out the other player. Also, the games only last a few minutes.)

So, this past Thursday, at my daughter's request, I stopped by chess club. I went into the office and made up my badge. I didn't fool around at all - I played this one completely straight, didn't type anything funny, just looked at the camera and snapped. The only thing that was different was that I was wearing a hat.

There must have been something funny with the light setting. The result was so cool that I decided to post it:








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Aren't you mixing up your zombies with your vampires, considering that the latter don't show in mirrors?
So, you are admitting that you are a PAWN! Your face can't be seen because it is made out of SHEEPLE! Ketchup is murder for TOMATOES!
lol! that one is fantastic. Kinda reminds me of Slenderman with a hat.
If you blow the picture up, all you can see is the hat and lower left quadrant of my face. That's what makes the picture cool. If you go over to OurSalon, the picture's bigger because that site allows larger pictures, but it's the same deal.

What do mirrors have to do with this? This is a photograph.

She has stated she won't come here. Is there some reason you think that I cosmically don't deserve the peace that comes with that agreement?

Who's Slenderman?

I like the hat. I got it because I lost my bucket hat, which my family referred to as my Dork Hat. It folded up great and protected my head from sun and my head and glasses from rain. I went back to REI for another one but they're out of season, so the best substitute was this sort of newsboy cap. I apparently look far better in the new hat (the old one wasn't called a dork hat for nothing).

When I looked in the mirror, I thought I looked oddly familiar, then it dawned on me. I take after my grandfather. I have a couple of photos of him as a kid, in Manhattan, that are about a century old, and he's wearing a hat like this one. It looks rather like me, though he's a kid in the shots and I have a beard. (He never had one.)
Kosh, you have presented me with the difficult task of answering your question without revealing any identity that may be indicated by the question. I mean, the person in question may have 3 words in HIS/or her name. It could be fewer than three, and it could be more. Three names would be something like Olivia Newton John. Four names might be something like Juan Antionio Fred Samaranch. It could be a one word name like Pele. It could be five names, but who would really believe that? No one has a five name name. So, it is probably one, two, three, or four names, and no reason at all to presume that it is a female name. So, anyway, in answer to your question.

I thought you had someone in mind. I'm just sayin'.
Oh, I thought the question about not deserving peace. I answered in the negative which indicates, yes.

The person I am not naming is Safe_Bet's Amy. Just between you and me. No one else can see this, right? These internet machines are confusing.
I understood your answer. Both parts of it. I was just surprised by the bit with how many names because it was clear to me to begin with who you meant. Anyway, on that particular topic, I'll take my peace now, please.

Cute new graphic.
magnificent disguise. shadow man with a cool hat.
teaching the youth.
spreading holy memes all over the landscape, under cover!
It's how the picture came out
there are no accidents sir in my metaphysics.
Well, it wasn't intentional on my part. I've taken plenty of strange photos on that school computer camera before, but they were all intentional, head sideways, grimacing, whatever. This picture I just took straight and got this.

Frankly, if I didn't like my avatar, if it didn't represent a translation in pictures of my screen name, and if Lorianne didn't use by avatar as her representative Badge on her cover, I'd think about using this photo as my avatar.
Great photo! It's nice to finally be able to see the hat behind all these wonderful posts. :)

That is so cool that your daughter loves for you to come visit Chess Club. I bet she'll always remember these times.
I hope it continues too