11:00 Thread (Holy Fat Fucking Shit)

Did that really just happen? Is our long national nightmare finally over?  Have we as a nation transcended racial bigotries, and petty partisan politics, and elected the first African American to the Presidency of the United States of America; while at the same moment ridding ourselves one of the most disgraceful regimes in our nations' history?

If we as a nation could capture a moment in a a piece of amber to be saved, and represented as the best of who we are for a million years to come, it should be this moment. 

For the love of godPut your belly away! its still frEAKING ME OUT! 

10:46 Thread (Ugh)

She's doing that gthing with her belly again - its like there's a little person tryignto bust out of her belly DING!! Get Me another cooki DING!! DING!! Ithink i just saw Opra.  Joan Isaw her!! i saw her!!

I wanna see Jo Wrinkly dick Lieberman face right avbout now.

PUT YOURBELLY awayits freaking me out.

10:32 Thread (MSNBC)

CNN has a better senate ometer - THANKS ALOT BR?IAN!! now i have to get up again - if i hear that we ahve to kil hitler one more time tonight im goignto freak out. Whats up withthis wierd wine commercial thats everywher?

10:22 Thread (What Channel are You Watching?)

Joan - what the hell are you tlaking about wheers opa? whats goign on in thpark - all iknow id paul begala still looks liek baby seal and there a gubner hufflepuff in missouri.  

CNNisnt showing shit appaerntly. What channel should I watch - please keep in mind - thaht my remot is broken and i onlywant to have to get up once.

10:15 Thread (Governor Hufflepuff)

Really? isnt that like a haray potto charachter? a

aaah they brought thr vagina monoluge poster back but itd blue this time. Soledad obrien looks funny standing next to it.

10:00 Thread (DING!)

they announcediowa - where's jessicayeellin? ithink there's been some unleasnatness with the transporter. mccain better satrt praying for a rain delay.  Brian is that you brian? 

9:50Thread (David Gergin)

Jeez man wher wer you when i was sobering up this afternoon. All i had was old yelly mcyellster Wolf Blizten making my head hurt- now that im good an drunk i got you wishpering in my ear speak up myman!!

9:34 Thread (Ohio)

DING!!DING!! DING!! ohio cnn called ohio. it smells liek a skunk ape died in my livingroom

9:26 Thread (CNN Promises big projection)

But instead theyr showing hank williamssinging.

I project thathankwilliams Jr. is a wierdfreak. Iff CCNN had any sens of responstiibility inregatrd to its new transporter powerr that can shift jessice yellin in time and space it woulld send HWJr. to somewher far afr awya like melmac wher alf is from.

I think they really want to call ohio for Botrack but thr being wuss's abou it.

9:01 Thread (CNN's voter alert noise)

The cnn voter alert is giivingme nerv ous paranoia. DING!! it reminds us odf the elmo use got mail noise on seame streetDING!! aaron imean kresskin look at your wier alien jessicAYELLIN  baby wriggling around in my stomch look at myskinmoveDING!!DING!!DING!! go get me a cookieim pregnantDING!!

8:53 Thread (Get back to Sonny and Jason)

Jesus this shw can suck. ew there that commercail wgere the bears are wiping each  others butts. GH really needs to get it together their statring to gt a little Days of our livesy - if you know what i mean. 

My wifes  doing that thing pregnante ladies do where they lift up ther shirtsand you can see thebaby moving in the belly - its like totallythe creepiest thing  -Im worried  Jessica Yellin is goign to pop out of her belly ala alien.

8:39 Thread (Paul Levinson Calls PA)

PAulcallled PA for  Obama using ABSNBC2 -

I dont knowwhays goin on-we got bored and started watchins TIVOED GenreslHospital -  wehavent' seenit inm like 3 weeks because of that baby -

Robins just about to marry PArtricj - Jason and sonny are reconsilling at the church. I hoep this spewcial evwent can help them fing each otuher again, Robins brought them together before.

Bobi has had a lot of plastic surgery

OBAMA ABAMA OBAMA!!! Change we acn believ id.

8:31 Thread (Obama wins New Hamburgers)

I'm totally ontop of thid

8:21 Thread(You put your clothes back on!!)

Its my porch anyway if you wanna wear clothing stay on your porch but this isbaa mu porch and i candowhat I want with it.  

Stupidneighbors idf Jessica Yellin and the CNN news team can appear otu of thin air wherever they choose this country beetr get comfortable with its body image real quick.

I'm so glad that babyfinally went to sleep. Lrt him have one more ngiht to dre am in a worldf withiout CNN's cadre of freaks haunting his nightmares like they'll haunt mine.

Beer time. Oh hey is that patrick cox from tacx masters again? 

7:16 Thread (AAAAAAAAAHHH!!)

CNN has some sortoftrasnsporter. Or else I'm really much more hammered than i thoguthI was. theyv rearanged jessica yellin's molecules so she's in chicago and newyork at the same time. she must have not seent that startrek wher the two crew members get splinched togther and die. 

She's a brave woman,Jessicayellin.

If CNN manages tpo master this technoloogy then theyll be unstoppablr. Imagine Wolf Blitzer appearign ouyt of nowhere in your lbathroom. I ,better put my shirt back on.  

6:40 Thread (Wolf blitzer has aprettymouth)

Doo do do dooo DRUNK again!! Imso happy, i have the greatst wife in the wormd. That baby doesnt nokw how lucjyhe is. that ababy hit me in the head with a blockl.

Ithink BaranOblamers ttotally the charcetre for chnag .I'm not nervous anymore defintely christmas not colonoscop. y. I love you baby

Why is wolf blitzer pointinga ta a big red vagina manologues poster? His sculpted beard intriguess me - his muth is beautyful.

Should I start the ovenfor tne cookies?

4:50 Thread (Dora, the pehirate piggies, and a piping hot pizza)

Things are looking really good rigi]seht now even though istill feel like shit. Dora is being aided in her efforts to rescue the ice princess by a group calling themselves the pirate piggiese rg and the sea snake doesn't seem to be bothering them anymore.

MrsK called to say she voted and is on her way with a take out pizza.

4:20 Thread (I'm so tired)

oh - i shpuldn't have drank so much before noon. idon't want to play traintracks right nowbaby - just let daddy lie here on the floor.

I think wolf blitzer is trying to make me throw up withis mind. why can't he just whishper thenews to me?i wish mrskessskin would get here i don't even care id she votes anymore  i just need baby reinforcementds and another drink just to get my head back on straight.

3:45 Thread (Dora the Explorer vs. Joe the Plumber)

Baby did you poop?

Oh man, that's rough one.

alright if im cleaning this up we're turning off bootsan dora and watching a daddy show.

what did you eat today? didyou have a monster for lunch?

oh look rick sanchez is ripping joe the lumber's balls off. 

yeah baby boy - joe sounds sad.

daddy's sad too - when he's post-drunk and has to clean up after fat baby's who refuse to use the potty.

don't put your hand down there!!! aw buddy thats terrrrible.

yuck

all right all right im turning dora back on

i wish mommy would come home too - then daddy could statr drinking again and his head would stop hurting 

3:00 Thread (joe lieberman)

oh great now the babys up for reel. just as i was fixing another drink.

Idont want to watch dora -  i wanto wacth rick sanchez.  oh me gods baby - if you start yelling... don't yell ohmy god oyur yelling - my head. maybe ishouldn't have had that last drink.

fine FINE we'll watch dora justshhh quiete time for daddy.

joe lieberman looks like a mushroom cap. I bet he has a wrinkly old white penid.

fine im changing te channel have a cookie and shush

look dora's on...HAPPY?

2:30 Thread (oh great now i'm crying) 

goddamn it randysmith, yousent me to tahat website that had thatstory about the dad and his id.it was amazing

now im crying - that was beautsifu; and i feel quiltyfot not taking the baby to vote. and complaining that he was getting in the way of my comfortdrinking. I judst woke him up to tell him whatt special little fella he is.

but he just waved me off amd said "go way daddy".

then he said "daddy smells liek pappy"

then he went back to slep. thats fine when he's 18 and wants to know where he was when history was beinga made i'll tell hem he was to good too special to be awake for it.

why do i always cry when im drunk? Oh hey patrick cox fromtax masters- he always lookes so uncomfortabel

moere later

noon thread (I’m so wasted)

The baby’s taking his nap - daddy can have a nother drink if he wants to.

That baby’s not thr president hes  not reven the mayor of thid house. I’m the mayor – I’m the president!

Take that baby.

Anyhoo voted  already – it’s raining in philadelphia- liek i said the baby’s asleep (MRS> KRESSKIN) so it doesn’t matter if i have another - he’ll be up by the time that I”msober. It not like i’m going anywher - just sitting in fromt of th TV awtching the magnificance of the demoncratic process .

Look you know Idont do well with abstract possibkities and happenstances – its liek the day before christmans and you wake up to discober that its actually the day of your colonoscopy. I mean i thinkit ‘ll be christmas but what if I wake up with a camera oup mybutt and an gastrointestinal perforatiomn?

The pizza dough is rising and i madecookie batter so we can havecookis tonghti wall we watch the results . god i wish theyed just get here. o look its that commercial witht he fireman who control the house. not like that baby.

More later