Last night’s episode of ABC’s hit series the BACHLEORETTE showed America the softer side of reality TV. As the competition for Bachelorette Gillian gets stiffer the same could not be said for dark horse contestant Ed.

Ed who had previously left the show due to concerns and pressure about work and job security risked it all last week in order to return and declare his true feelings for Gillian. This week he was unable to achieve an erection during the couple’s attempt at intercourse on national TV.

NOTE TO READERS: This why you should never go on reality TV.

While Ed lost the battle, he may have won the war (a fruitless victory), surviving this round and entering into the finals and an opportunity to propose to Gillian in the season finale two weeks from now. Ed is heavily favored in that finale since he is now the social equivalent of a rescued baby bird; the minute Ed failed to get hard on national TV he became the responsibility of Gillian and ABC, it would be totally irresponsible to release him back into the wild after sustaining an emotional injury of this magnitude.

Arguably the onus is primarily on ABC, they have the resources and freedom to nurse Ed’s ego back to health and they were the ones with the cameras, but most likely that help would arrive in the form of asking Ed to be the next BACHELOR. Do we, as a nation, really want to see 12 episodes worth of Ed negotiating, pleading, bargaining, crying, and praying, over his stubborn subordinate?

“Jesus, this is Ed here, I know I’ve asked you this every week since I couldn’t chub up on the BACHELORETTE but this is really getting embarrassing. I’m starting to understand what it must feel like to play for the METS…”

No, nobody wants to see that anymore than they would want to watch a season’s worth of METS games, it’s just too shameful.

NOTE TO READERS: This is why the METS should never play their games on TV.

So the sad duty falls to Gillian, the minute she pittied Ed into the finals she took responsibility for his withered... ego. In many ways her experience rivals Ed’s; if she had just been firm and stood strong she would have sent him home, and ABC would be ethically responsible for his rehabilitation, but instead she was soft and pathetically flip flopped back forth between Ed and Ried (another suitor with a working penis) eventually drooping on Ed and forcing us to sit through a finale that is as much about Ed’s ability to make his penis hard, as it is about who is going to marry Gillian.

Maybe that’s good TV, but as a man I just can’t stop worrying about ED.