Back in '96 I was a senior in high-school. My poli-sci class took a three day trip to our nation's capital to witness America's glorious political process at work.

I remember the trip including a meeting with Rick Santorum (that he eventually skipped out on at the last minute) and an interesting discussion on Red Lining and how law makers were trying to put an end to it (great job fellas). We went to the gallery to watch a couple sessions of Congress, and we had nightly classes recapping what we had learned during the day. It was a very informative and educational experience... from what I can piece together.

You see, there was also a great deal of free time where we were supposed to try to meet with any of our nation's elected officials who had a moment to spare. That free time was mostly devoted to copious amounts of marijuana smoking and drinking.

We would get very stoned and wander around the section of the Capitol that contained all the Senators offices. I don't know if you've ever had the chance to visit our nation's capital, or any of our elected official's offices at the Capitol, but it's like a zoo for adolescent males; every front desk secretary/receptionist, in every office, of every senator looks like she has just graduated Magna Cum Louder from Scores. 

Once we realized that no elected official would spare a moment for a group of stoners who were barely old enough to vote, we decided to chat up the receptionists instead. Needless to say we didn't have much luck with them either.

The only elected official who would take time out of his "busy" schedule to meet with us was Strom Thurmond.  Senator Thurmond, who in 1996 would have been roughly 115 years old, made us wait twenty minutes, he then opened the door to his inner office and escorted 10 giggling women, all of whom looked like beauty pageant contestants, out into the ante-room where we were waiting (perhaps he was interviewing secretaries, or perhaps he was having an orgy). 

He spoke to us briefly, telling us happily that if President Clinton and Vice President Gore were to unexpectedly die he would be next in line to assume the Presidency. He also gave us key-chains that were emblazoned with something to that effect.  One of my friends asked him how he managed to stay so politically active after all his years as a Senator.  He inclined his head toward the last piece of ass, of the last beauty pageant contestant, exiting his office and winked as he said, “Diet and exercise boys, diet and exercise”.

After our meeting with Strom we went into the bowels of the capital to catch the cool monorail thing that transports the Senators and Representatives back and forth from their offices to different places around the Capitol. 

As we were getting off the monorail one of my sharper eyed friends spotted Senator Ted Kennedy walking toward us.  In his best shit eating voice my friend called out, “Senator Kennedy how are you today sir?”.  Kennedy nodded curtly at us and muttered “boys”. Another friend tried to push our luck as Kennedy drew level with us.  He looked at the Senator and said, “Excuse us Senator Kennedy but could you...”, but before he could finish, Kennedy who still hadn't broken his stride glanced at our group and, I shit you not, for the briefest of moments he growled at us as he continued to walk past. 

Now we were high, like a gang of little Rick Jameses high, and there was some dispute about whether he had said something to us in a guttural way and some of us just heard it strangely, or whether it was actually a full fledged growl.  BUT I remember it pretty clearly; Senator Ted Kennedy knew nothing good would come from a conversation with a group of stoned high-school students from Philadelphia (and he probably had more important things to do, though at the time I couldn't imagine what) so he backed us off by growling at us.

So here's to you Senator Kennedy, even though you growled at me I still think you were pretty GGRRRREAT!