From Rush Limbaugh:

I have been denied my American Dream, not because of the money I've made, or the work ethic I've possessed, but because of who I am.

I ask you to imagine, just for a moment, an America where you are not allowed to buy a house in certain neighborhood, or refused service in a restaurant, or forced to stand instead of enjoying the seat you paid for on some sort of public transportation vehicle, be it train or trolley or other. You are not refused these things because you cannot pay for them, or you have not worked for your right to them, but because of prejudice.

I am a victim of prejudice, I am that man forced to stand on that imaginary public transportation vehicle, except my public transportation vehicle, is actually an NFL Football team that I was going to purchase with my buckets and buckets of blood money.

I have suffered the subtle discrimination of people's expectations of me. People say I cannot be trusted to own a football team responsibly because of my background and history. That's sort of like saying one of the premier quarterback's in the NFL is over-rated solely based on the color of his skin. It's simply about preconceived ideas and prejudice. It's despicable and un-American and I won't stand for it.

While it is obvious who is at the root of this institutionalized discrimination (the Liberals), my heart has been broken by the betrayal of my own people, the NFL Owners, and the conservative investment group that jettisoned me at the first sign of trouble.

For some time now it has been obvious that there has been a rift between the Rush Limbaugh's of the world and the David Frum's of this world. The House Conservatives like Frum hate the field conservatives like me because, frankly, we are “too real” for them.

However even in spite of lingering mistrust and petty jealousies, for not a single one of them to come to my defense is unconscionable. Has Jerry Jones forgotten where his roots are? Marge Schott is rolling in her cryogenic containment unit.

Until we end this conservative on conservative violence, until we stop trying to soft shoe our way into Mr. Clooney's heart, until we stand up to liberal oppression in all its forms, until we say, “enough is enough let Rush Limbaugh buy a football team”. Until that day we can never truly rise up as a people.

But I have a dream.

I have a dream that one day wealthy conservative NFL owners will not judge a man by the quality of his character and public image but by the size of his purse.

I have a dream that one day the children of the David Frums and Christopher Hitchenseses and moderate fiscal conservatives of this world, as represented by the NFL owners, will join hands with the children of the Glenn Becks and Michael Savages and the devoutly conservative fringe - and that those hand holding children will then surround the David Frum's, Christopher Hitchens, David Brooks, William Crystals, and NFL owners.

Yes brothers and sisters - the children will surround them and form an inescapable ring of angry ultra-conservative youth from which no moderate, base denying, pseudo-conservative can escape, no matter how wealthy he may be, and then those children will go all SUDDENLY LAST SUMMER on all their traitorous asses.

SUDDENLY LAST SUMMER is a Tennessee Williams play where a group of kids eat a guy (I think it turns out to be a gay thing but it's been a while since I read it). It's a literary reference that reflects the gravitas of this moment for me. I can reference Tennessee Williams if I so choose, I'm Rush Limbaugh and I can do whatever I want - except apparently buy a terrible terrible football team.

I may not get there with you, to see that vicious ultra-conservative-child-cannibal day of reckoning (because of my problems with drugs and Ding Dongs), but I can promise to spend the money to have my brain frozen like Marge Schott so that I will be able to appreciate its awesome brutality some day in the distant future after many of you who are too poor to freeze your favorite body part are long since dead.

My point is we will all get a chance to appreciate it in the future - just at different moments in the future.

And when this happens my thawed future brain will buy the St. Louis Rams. When we cannibalize the non-believers, when my brain and your decendants' bodies have purified every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of Rush's children will be able to join hands and sing the words I tell them to sing:

The Rams at last! The Rams at last! Thank God Almighty Rush Limbaugh's unfrozen brain has bought the Rams at last!