Last summer I turned 30 and agreed to accept a present from/deal with my parents - they would pay for my driving lessons, and I would carry through on the whole thing.

I understand the paying thing is a big deal. I live in Germany and am learning to drive here, and unlike in the atlantic facing european country of my birth and childhood, learning to drive here costs a hell of a lot of money. At least 1,200 euros. Here, there is no such thing as a learners permit or provisional licence. Here you have to attend a certain number of hours of theory classes, pass a theory test. You are also never allowed to drive without your driving instructor, and one hour and a half of driving instruction costs 52 euros. At that rate, I would want to be taking it seriously. And I am.

But still I have my doubts.  Committed as I am to passing this damned test so that I can assure my parents that I will be able to drive them when they are old and senile from their nursing home to their favorite ocean walks and parks(my mother recently admitted that this was a motivation in funding my lessons), I find myself holding the convictions that led me to not drive even more strongly now than I ever did....

I got to 30 just fine without driving. Where I grew up, driving was no great rite of passage. Turning 18 and finally being able to get into clubs without having to lie, use fake ID and fake birthdates; being able to carry a passport or student card that contained your actual information and still getting into these holy places. Now that was important! I lived in a city of about 1 million people, and there were several buses that went in from my suburb to the city centre, including night buses that ran til 3am. Taxis were also not extortionate, especially if you shared them with other people. I did not know a single soul that drove. 

I went to college at 19 and became politicised about a year later, at 20 when I joined the college environmental organisation. I was also studying sociology at the time, and me and my friends, especially those interested in urban development became quickly infuriated at the stupidity of those who were planning our city, making it more car-friendly and not public transport friendly enough at all. One step forward for public transport(the reconstruction of old transport lines) ten steps forward for the car(new motorways and houses stretching to the middle of the country). I vowed then to devote myself even more strongly to the cause of public transport. 

I continued on my path, and happily had my first experiences of independence without any reference to the car. I remember national express buses, and long train journeys, and luggage lockers in Amsterdam central station at 5am. Cars were totally irrelevant to my life. I completed my degree and moved to Berlin, and found in it the city of my dreams, a city where, to my mind, one would almost have to be insane to drive. Public transport worked, and still works, more perfectly here than I could ever imagine. There was nowhere I could imagine going to where a car would be quicker than public transport. My monthly travel tickets were also paid for by work. Perfect! 

For some reason that I will explain another time I didn't stay in Berlin at that time, and moved instead to the north of England, to York, to do a Masters degree. Travel in that region was a little different to Berlin, but I still never missed having a car. Getting to the town centre was easily managed by bus every 15 minutes, or 10 minute cycle on dedicated cycle lane. Cross town? Take the bike. Supermarket shopping? In my first year I ordered on tesco supermarket's website and they delivered to my kitchen floor for a 5 pound charge. In my second year I moved to a house a little closer to the store, so me and my flatmate would wander across the town racecourse once a month, hit the store, go crazy buying stuff and take a taxi back home. Worked out at less than 5 pounds, 2.50 each. Local bakery down the end of the street covered us for fresh bread, and I always bought fresh veg at the veg store on my way home. We froze and stored whatever needed to be frozen or stored and went back to our bike and bus lives. My flatmate had a drivers license, and we actually used it once, when we rented a car and took a road trip to the lake district. One more time another friend, an american visitor pried us away for a weekend at Loch Lomond in Scotland, so I chipped in for the rental car and she drove. Apart from those trips, and the occasional taxi ride I pretty much did not use a car for 3 years straight. 

The PhD I was doing fell through, so I moved back to Berlin. Times had changed, and my employer would only cover 85% of my monthly travel card. But, on the positive side, I now had to travel nearly 100km to a town on the German/Polish border 2 or 3 times a week. So for about 20 euros a month(my 15%) I could go all the way all the way around Berlin any time. Damn, I could even go 'abroad' if I wanted. I only did once. Poland only really gets interesting about 500km from Berlin. Those place nearby have little more than cheap cigarettes and booze. 

In all of that time I never felt like I missed anything by not driving. Driving for me did not mean freedom - in the last months of my job, I remember gazing at the Berlin-Warsaw express train that passed through Alexanderplatz station 5 minutes before my commuter train and thinking: God! I wish I could be on that! Trains always meant freedom. And driving was just not necessary

I first understood freedom without driving. I had all of my important firsts without driving. First relationship, first road(bus and rail) trip, apartments, moves, mistakes, getting away from it all, coming back. Being flightly, facing life down and growing, becoming a little more boring, becoming wiser. All without driving. 

I have been driving for 3 months now, and studying theory for 7. It has its moments. And now that I can do it more comfortably and relax, it feels even stranger. I am glad to be able to expect some time in the next few months to pass the test. But it also feels as if I have developed a third arm, I do not know what to do with this skill. Who knows. I got to 30 without driving, and even if I can I'm not sure if I'm about to start now ....