Happiness Key: Never let any one person be in charge of your happiness*
Do you believe that someone else can provide happiness for you? If you do, you’re not alone.  Too many women go into relationships believing that the men they love will automatically be able to make them happy. As 21st century modern as we are, we still tend to believe in "happily-ever-after" with Prince Charming.

Believing this fairy tale is one of the most emotionally costly mistakes you can make. No one can make you happy and you should not assign that job to anyone but you. The ability to be happy falls squarely on your shoulders.  Depending on someone else for your own joy will leave you constantly disappointed and frustrated.

Chapter 1 of my book "And Then I'll Be Happy!" tells the stories of two women, Debora and Sara, who spent a great deal of time and effort waiting and hoping for the men in their lives to 'make' them happy. They sacrifice too many years waiting for this miracle to happen and of course it never does. Their stories are for every woman who has ever believed that someone else could provide her happiness and failed to see that only she had the power to make herself happy.

Debora was an economics analyst and an accomplished amateur painter. She was well liked by her colleagues, had a nice townhouse, a circle of friends, and was financially, in a good place. As for her artwork, some of her watercolors which had won awards in small art exhibits, hung on the wall of her office. Life could have been very sweet. But Debora was not happy. Her unhappiness sprang from an unsatisfying, unhappy relationship with Rob. She constantly said that, "when Rob makes a commitment, then I'll be happy."
He didn't, she wasn't.

Sara, a respected educator,  made a mistake by marrying Brian, a person who she already knew was selfish and moody. She chose to close her eyes to what was right there in front of her! Unfortunately Sara bought into the belief of “wedded bliss” and the myth that marriage will change an unpleasant, selfish person into a sweet-natured, loving spouse that will bring happiness into the marriage. She could only be happy when he changed.But a snarling pit bull will never become Lassie.

Debora and Sara both were on a fool’s errand. The only people who changed, and not in a positive way, were they themselves. They became sad, depressed, angry women trying over and over again to fix a bad situation only to get the same failing results.

Your happiness should never be in the hands of anyone but you. Put yourself in charge of your own happiness and you will never be disappointed.

*The above is an abridged excerpt of "AND THEN I'LL BE HAPPY!" by Kristen Houghton published by GPP Life an imprint of Globe Pequot Press © 2009 copyright all rights reserved. It may not  be rewritten, copied, published, broadcast, or redistributed, wholly or in any part, without the express written permission of Kristen Houghton and GPP Life.