Like most middle class parents, we've caved and given our teen-aged children cell phones with unlimited texting plans.

Unlike many parents, we have made it clear that we reserve the right to look at random texts periodically to make sure things are on the up and up.

And that's how we discovered that our daughter was skipping class last week to hang out with a guy who has been texting her that he loves her about five time an hour during class. After only knowing her four days. It's how we found out that she wasn't with her friends Friday after school like she'd said, but with this boy who had ramped up to telling her he knew how to make her feel good. This is how we found out our son's friend had gotten ahold of his cell phone and texted pornographic messages to some of his 14 year-old girl friends, just to "mess around." 

Our silver lining: it's also how we found out how our kids handle certain situations. Upon being asked how far she was willing to go, our daughter responsed "No sex. Clothes stay on." Upon discovering what his friend had done, our son apologized profusely to the girls who were offended. It's  also led to some very important conversations.

We waited longer than most to give cell phones to our kids. Our friends justified their kids' phones mostly by saying they felt safer knowing they could get in touch with their kids, and their kids could get in touch with them. We, however, felt like our kids would be less safe with phones, because we're not the only ones who could get in touch with them. Turns out we were right.

So now the phones sit mostly unused in the kitchen while we decide whether or not to disable texting on our plan.  That might not make us the coolest parents on the block. But I bet if most parents read what their kids are texting, they might consider doing it, too.