The birthmother has found us again. She calls, ranting, stupid-drunk,   threatening to come to our house to take back her child.  Even though it has been five years since she signed the final pap/… Read full post »

              Does the word “buy” offend you? Then don’t adopt, because you would be offended often. Adoption, at its core, is a business transaction. It shouldn’t be, but it is. You will pay for lawyers, counsel/… Read full post »

     I will admit that I avoided looking at what was happening at first.  I am a positive, hopeful, can-do type of person. After the pediatrician prescribed a second round of antibiotics for my son who had strep throat, I didn’t worry, I just bought more vitamins. For e/… Read full post »

     I’m teaching, seventh period, and as I’m lecturing, I suddenly feel something odd in my mouth. My tooth is loose. I can feel the root under the molar on my left side with my tongue, and I taste blood. With a cough, I excuse myself. I cover my mouth on… Read full post »

The Neo-natal Intensive Care Unit is a scary place to be. In the hallway right before the large, double doors, sits a large, stainless steel basin with an imposing sign, “All visitors must wash their hands for two minutes before entering.” A detailed list follows: 1. Scrub under your nail… Read full post »

                   I had never seen a birth before. When watching the required videos on “The Miracle of Birth” in seventh grade health class, I had turned away at the first sight of blood. Come to t/… Read full post »

            I am the mother you shun in Wal-Mart. Your disapproving eyes flit from my unbrushed hair to focus upon my four year old son, who is dressed in a long-sleeved, fatigue shirt and tight, black-wool leggings, even though it’/… Read full post »

Adoption is big business. Once we started calling agencies and lawyers, we found that we were coveted clients. Brochures, videos, and endless forms came pouring in. I tried to keep up with it by filling out one form a day. But soon, pages – and to me, each one represented a… Read full post »

            After every appointment at the fertility clinic, I would have a nightmare.  It didn’t matter if the appointment had gone well (New medicine to try! Your ovaries are huge!) or if the appointment had been torturous (Internal/… Read full post »

 Submission to Open Call: Life After Quitting Hope

By Kristina Lakes

            How could  my baby have a hole in her heart? She is a crazy, passionate, beautiful little four year old. She never sits down unless it is to watc/… Read full post »