In 2007 Governor Charlie Crist wrote a letter to God. He scribbled it on a piece of paper and slid into a crack of Jerusalem’s Western Wall.

Crist was visiting Israel on his first official trade mission as governor. Intermediaries acting on Crist’s request have delivered copies of the prayer to the wall these past two years.

According to the governor, the text of the prayer was short and sweet: “Dear God, please protect our Florida from storms and other difficulties. Charlie.”

Crist believes the letter may be the reason our state of Florida hasn’t been hit by a devastating hurricane on his watch.

Nice thought, end of story, right? Well, not exactly.

As a sometimes-humorous newspaper columnist with a penchant for the type of hard-hitting investigative journalism best done on Wikipedia and other Internet sites without leaving home, it has come to my attention that there was a great deal more to Crist’s letter than we were initially led to believe.

Here, then, is the full text of the letter Governor Charlie Crist delivered to the Western Wall:

Dear God,

Please protect our Florida from storms and other difficulties. Charlie.

That would be Charlie Crist, dear God. Like your son but without the “h.” By the way, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that.

Would it bother you a great deal if I was to start including the “h” just to end the confusion? People put it in there half the time anyway.

I plan to be governor for a while, God. Then maybe someday running for the U.S. Senate. Perhaps even bigger things after that.

I figure, a little additional publicity for you, a little extra credibility with the religious right for me, it’s win/win! Well, think about it.

But getting back to avoiding natural disasters. I suppose you’re in a bit of a tight spot. Maintaining the order of the universe, no doubt, requires issuing a certain number of killer storms. You probably have some sort of quota.

And I realize you have to send these storms somewhere, but we in Florida were really hard hit the last couple of years before I took office – eight hurricanes in two years!

We’ve paid our dues and then some.

Far be it from me to wish disaster on anyone else, but it’s got to be someone else’s turn.

Or better yet, couldn’t you just send most of these storms out to sea where they really don’t hurt anybody? If you do have to make landfall now and then, might I suggest Greenland? I think it has one town on an island the size of a continent. What are the odds?

Here in Florida, you can’t sneeze without blowing over a mobile home! Well, I could; you couldn’t.

I’m just trying to suggest some alternatives, dear God. It’s not like you have to automatically stamp every disastrous storm “Florida” before sending it down the chute.

I’ll be honest with you, God, I’m writing this letter in hopes of creating a little good luck. I’m trying to balance a state budget during difficult economic times; the last thing I need is a rash of hurricane hits.

You are no doubt aware (since you know everything) that I’m not just relying on this letter to create good luck. I’m also knocking on wood every chance I get, throwing salt over my shoulder, and carrying a rabbit’s foot. Also, I’m avoiding stepping on cracks.

And I bought a bag of gris-gris at a voodoo tourist shop the last time I was in New Orleans. I hope you don’t mind. Just trying to cover all my bases.

Oh, one other thing, God. If word gets out that I wrote you this letter and had some success with it, you can probably expect letters from half the governors in the country.

Perry in Texas will want relief from the heat. Pawlenty in Minnesota from the cold. Schwarzenegger will want not only relief from the fires, but also help balancing California’s budget.

Just remember I was here first, dear God. That ought to count for something.

Respectfully yours,

Governor Charlie Christ.

(Oops! Now I did it. See how natural that is?)

P.S. Is the Western Wall in Jerusalem the best way to reach you? Because it’s a little inconvenient for me. If there’s a suitable method closer to Florida, please advise.