Last week I helped my beloved farmer Bob finish planting his crops. He is a conventional farmer meaning he plants GMO seed and uses chemicals to control insects and weeds during the growing season.

Lately my conscious has been bothering me about this because I am just now realizing that these… Read full post »

Lately I have been thinking about my own rhythm and the fact that we all have our individual rhythms as we move about this life. The rhythm changes with circumstances and age. It gets worn in spots, thinned out in areas and thickened in other places. It breaks off at times,… Read full post »

My body has changed since the surgery and now it is playing a neat new trick on me-hot flashes. I know I am not the first one to have such womanly pleasures, and I admit that at first I was fascinated by them. They are so powerful and out of control.… Read full post »

There are times when I really don't understand why the people around me can't just be content and happy. At this point in my life I have had enough shit thrown my way that I try not and sweat the small stuff. It is also at this same point that I… Read full post »

The blank page stares 

Asking, "Well, what do you want to say?"

"What's so all mighty important to share?"

The usual answer is "nothing" and just fade back, 

Away

Disappear

Then re-appear,

Later

When I might have something to say.   Read full post »

My body has been through the wringer- getting cut, stapled and stitched, taking in mounds of medicine first through the IV then by mouth, leaving me with no appetite until yesterday.

It has been a strange experience and not one I would want to have again. There is some comfort in… Read full post »

M left this morning for her week in Florida to visit her son who is moving and her sister who had baby # 3 last week. She is already there tooling around in her upgraded rental car heading in any direction she needs to go.

The first part of being alone… Read full post »

I returned from Florida last week and had a sheduled Dr.'s appointment for the next day to discuss my female situation. (Yes, this is a post about women's issues so step off now if you need.)

My situation has progressively  impared the quality of my life for the last few years.… Read full post »

Here I am in the land of where I began. 

The city where I grew up. 

The place where I spent my youth.

It's the place I couldn't leave fast enough after high school.

The place I never returned to by choice.

Here I am.

Only for a… Read full post »

On the first day of this year I was enveloped with a peaceful easy feeling that this was going to be a great year ahead. Then on the 3rd day I almost puked because of the fatality I caused.

Part of what I love about our land are the animals we… Read full post »

There is a sense of relief that the holidaze are officailly over-ahhhhhh, we made it. We did our trip to Florida to see parents, kids, grandkids, siblings, nieces, nephews and friends. Our gift was the nasty cold we caught from either a runny nosed nephew or the family in front… Read full post »

The bump on the bridge of my nose had been there about a year. It wasn't dark or scary looking but I noticed it. Slowly it grew. My daughter who has the ability to notice any and every little detail said, "Mom, you really should get that looked at." I agreed… Read full post »

This afternoon I had time to mow which is something I find very peaceful and relaxing. I climbed on our John Deere riding mower and began the laps around the yard. 

In May we moved into "our" house after a very long and frustrating search. Needless to say, it all worked… Read full post »

Lately the idea of “Family” has been heavy on my mind. At 47 years old I find myself questioning what constitutes family. I’m sure most people don’t give the idea much thought. Family, for many is a given group of people that you are bound to until death. There is nothing… Read full post »

After all the recent news I am left wondering "what really matters?" It has forced me to look at myself and what I do or don't contribute to the world around me. 

My heart is heavy with all the unnecessary pain inflicted on innocent… Read full post »

I'll be traveling again in early December and I fantasize about my "pat down" down "there". Hopefully, they will begin around my breasts and lightly graze my nipples while I begin to get slightly aroused before they go "down there".

Oh no, I don't want to get a private screening I… Read full post »

“Ah, this is just perfect”, I think before I realize that I am back in the Land of Family. This has never been an easy place for me and at 48 years old the chances don’t look promising for any significant improvement.

I am on a second floor… Read full post »

 His name is Bob (the name of my own father-the irony is not lost on me). He will be 80 years old in January and is still as strong as an ox. As we planted last Spring I wondered if he thought this might be his last season. Soon the Harvest… Read full post »

Friday is my birthday and M and I are leaving Saturday morning on Amtrak for Chicago. We are both very excited but have little idea of what to do or where to stay. Neither one of us has been there before.

I would like a nice hotel that you can see… Read full post »

Since M and I have been actively recreating our relationship I have learned to chant. All of this is very new for me but since I began I have only missed a handful of days. I have worked up to 10 minutes and the difference is amazing!

I am still learning… Read full post »

Last night we had dire predictions for severe weather in our area. So I waited for it. The winds started blowing, the skies darkened and the lightening and thunder edged closer bringing rain.

It was early in the evening-not quite dark. Shortly into it we lost power. Last time that happened… Read full post »

Often I feel life is complicated. Maybe it's not so much "life" but the relationships within life. There is little doubt that dealing with human emotion is a perilous journey. Lord knows taking care of one's own emotional state of being can be a full time job. Add in a dose… Read full post »

First of all, there really was not a "crime" committed so if you came to see blood just move along as they say.

What I am talking about is that M and I are going to Florida together on Saturday and this will be the first encounter between my daughter… Read full post »

That particular Rolling Stones song was just loud enough for me to hear as I hit the kitchen floor in a heaping, blubbery mess. I had just ended a difficult call with my daughter who has made it all too clear that she is not very happy about M and I's… Read full post »

 Feeling a bit like having some fun today : )

1. I have shaved my head for fun

2. I can dock a 53' boat-back it in the slip not just come alongside a dock

3. If I wear underwear it's boxers

  Read full post »