I returned from Florida last week and had a sheduled Dr.'s appointment for the next day to discuss my female situation. (Yes, this is a post about women's issues so step off now if you need.)

My situation has progressively  impared the quality of my life for the last few years. When "Auntie Flo" comes to visit she places me swiftly in the disabled catagory. I am unable to go out any where for fear of having an accident. 

Initially, I had discussed the situation with my doctor in the Fall of last year but in the end I chickened out and told myself it really wasn't that bad. Well as time has gone by my symptoms have only increased. 

I tried a small outpatient procedure a couple of years before that worked to reduce symptoms in 90% of the women who had it done. Who knew I would be in the lucky 10% that it didn't help?!

The only other "operation" I have had was having my appendix removed. Prior to that the only time I have been in a hospital was when my daughter was born twenty eight years ago. 

Today I realized  3 weeks from now I will be in quite a different state of mind and body.

I am very blessed to have a healthy life and I do not take it for granted especially as I hit the half century mark this year. My body has been very good to me despite the crap I have put it through!

M will be able to help take care of me. She is in between jobs and has the time. I should be all healed up by Spring so I can help the farmer plant. I have a very caring and kind doctor who will take good care of me.

But I admit that I have anxiety about the whole thing. Being cut open and having organs removed is not my idea of a good day. I worry about pain but was told by the doctor it will be manageable-no more than a 3 with medication. 

Maybe it's the length of recovery that worries me. Oh sure, a few days laying around watching bad TV sounds ok-but only for a few days not weeks! I have never done that before.

I bought a couple of books yesterday and figure I can catch up on reading which will be fine. I also want to get a few audio books in case I don't want to read.

My daughter and grandson will come for a visit on his Spring break which should be a nice visit.  I will have to be careful when they are here not to overdo it. It will be good to see them and it should give M a little break. Maybe that really won't be a break for her as it adds 2 more people in the house. More like a distraction.

I am working on my attitude and staying positive. I vow to eat healthier, exercise a bit more, chant each day and drink less red wine in the coming weeks.  That's really all I have in my control.

After it is all said and done I am sure I will be glad to have made the decision. But in the meantime I need to be positive and give thanks that I am a healthy woman who has the ability to get the health care I need.