Each day I discover a little more about being on my own. Mostly I am finding peace and enjoying the quiet. The static is gone and the quiet surrounds me like a gentle, familar friend.
Today I had a follow up at the gastro doctor. Twice they asked if M was still my contact person and twice I had to say " no." Oddly it didn't make me sad, it was more factual than anything else.
As I looked around I saw couples and began to realize that I am now un-coupling. For a brief second it felt weird but then I remembered how alone I had been as a couple.
We had a canyon of distance in our relationship that we never managed to conquer. Emotionally there was not a deep connection, spiritually I was on my own and the physical connection had been gone for years.
At least I know I can count on myself. I listen, answer and know myself pretty damn well.
There is something I read yesterday that has become my new mantra:
"Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy."
Onward and upward as my mother used to say. Life goes on.