Earlier this year I underwent two massive surgeries where my cancer tumors were excised from my lungs. Being rid of the tumors, I was going to be back on top of my game. Or, that is what I thought - that I would go back to being the way I was… Read full post »

So dear reader, the last we spoke I left you hanging with my quandry of whether or not to go back on chemo. For new readers this may seem like a simple answer but for me chemo is highly problematic. I have been fighting this disease off and on for 8… Read full post »

I have not written in almost a year because I have been overwhelmed and very busy surviving. Those who do not think that surviving takes effort, focus, and determination, have never had cancer. I am amazed at how much energy it takes to just get through a day, and if that… Read full post »

A few months ago, after going back on chemo, I decided that I would not do any more chemo until the new stealth drugs are on the market. You see I am on of those pesky outliers, the ones that don't fit the statistical profiles and probabilities. After… Read full post »

 The last time I posted I had just gotten the news that my cancer was growing again. The previous "soft" hormonal treatments were no longer working; it was time to bring out the big guns. My doctor and I went over all of the options and picked the chemotherapy agent that… Read full post »

I am an introvert. Never has this been more plain than the past few months. When I am stressed I withdraw and ponder and try to make meaning out of my situation. That is what we do as humans, make meaning, but extroverts make meaning out loud, with others. I just… Read full post »

 In the pink ribbon world, we chant "rah, rah, beat cancer!" So cancer must be the enemy, some invader that has attacked us, right? We must believe this since the alternative that cancer might not be the enemy or that it might have come from our own selves, if true, would… Read full post »

One of the oddities of living with metastatic cancer is the investment that other people have in your illness. It is very strange. There is a woman I know who, when she sees me, will ask how I am. If I say I am fine, she will peer at me closely… Read full post »

I've been living with cancer for a long time and one thing I can categorically state is I HATE PINK RIBBONS! I hate the "rah rah beat cancer" culture that has been spawned by well meaning individuals garnering support for cancer research. It invades my life and somehow I feel there… Read full post »