This blog, ROFL: Random Outbursts From Lar! is now concluded. I want to free up time to focus on other projects and studies and this blog just didn't make the cut.

First, let me thank you more than I can express. We only have so much time in our lives and… Read full post »

This is Effective Immediately! Memo 13. The following is effective immediately!

Effective Immediately, everyone needs to stop quoting the movie Network where the character Howard Beale goes nuts and says he’s mad as hell and he’s not going to take it anymore. (Link.)

That clip has been the rallyi… Read full post »

Sometimes it seems like there's nothing you can do that will prevent you from finding a crowd on your front yard holding a banner that says you are loved and supported.

You've seen it a million times. Whether the person was revered, hated or obscure seems to make little… Read full post »

I used to resist the idea of calling life unfair. Being a non-conformist, I resist cliché. This works against me sometimes, because clichés can be accurate.

Now when it comes to calling life unfair, I burn with the passion of the converted. I look back at my ultra-naïve youthful self and… Read full post »

I've been absent from LarryNocella.com for a while because I've been working on other projects much larger than my average blog post. I know you hordes of regular readers (chuckle!) are upset by this, but never fear. You can view the latest large project now!

It's the screenplay for the… Read full post »

A QUICK NOTE: Kids these days. If it's not in video, they're not going to pay attention. So in order to reach a broader audience. I'm pleased to announce the very first installment of a hybrid Effective Immediately! in video and in text. The text is the script for the video… Read full post »

If you're doing something dangerous, but you don't know it's risky, does that make you brave? Say you walk across a lake of thin ice, but you think the ice is solid and safe. Are you courageous for talking that stroll? Are you brave once you realize how dangerous the act… Read full post »

The following are effective immediately!

11.1 American (Idol) Justice
Effective immediately, the millions of legal experts who issue confident verdicts without ever having entered the courtroom of a high-profile trial will be called for jury duty. This will save the rest of us the trouble of having… Read full post »

The price of freedom is eternal vigilance. - Thomas Jefferson

I once went to a Roger Waters (of Pink Floyd) concert where he sang his song "Mother." The lyrics ask a lot of questions, and the projection screen behind him "answered" each question with writing on "The Wall." When he sang,… Read full post »

The following are effective immediately!

10.1 Blues Lyrics or Facebook Status?
Effective immediately, someone has to make a game show (or drinking game, or whacky morning drive radio bit) where contestants try to guess whether a statement is either someone's Facebook status or the lyrics to a blues… Read full post »

Hi Technorati! 83G9GMPDYUVD (This is part of the claim process for Technorati. Ignore this post unless for some reason you take pleasure from reading it.) - Lar

The following are effective immediately!

9.1 Fertilizing the Tree of Liberty
Effective immediately, no one is allowed to use Thomas Jefferson's quotation, "The tree of Liberty needs to be watered from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants," unless they first use all their own blood. Dem… Read full post »

Many decades ago, someone I know (who wants to remain anonymous) wrote a simple BASIC computer program designed to simulate interaction with one of the many idiots that attended our high school.

When the program ran, no matter what you typed, the computer would randomly answer with one of the… Read full post »

The following are effective immediately!

8.1  Bucket Lists Must Die!
Effective immediately, everyone will stop telling me about the things I need to do or see before I die. When you call a wish list a "bucket" list, not only are you unwittingly promoting a film the world would rather forget,… Read full post »

The following are effective immediately!

7.1 Devo For NoNo
Effective immediately, those who deny evolution is real must sacrifice all its benefits. They need to give up their cell phones, go back to living in caves, walk with their knuckles dragging and suffer from forgotten diseases that no one gets… Read full post »

It's been over twenty years and I'm finally ready to talk about it. I tried writing about it before but I started to cry. A few years after it happened, just thinking about it would give me nervous shakes. Now I'm mostly okay, as long as I don't dwell on it… Read full post »

The following are effective immediately!

6.1 Send The Fockers To Dashiddur
Effective immediately, there will be no more Fockers movies. Actually, we don't know if this is true, but it sure is nice to dream. By the way, did you notice that Fockers sounds like a naughty word? Isn't that… Read full post »

The following are effective immediately!

5.1 The Dong, Old
Effective immediately, people need to stop lining up to suck Donald Trump's dick. It's unrealistic to think you're ever going to get a chance because he's too busy sucking it himself. You may however, feel free to fall to your knees… Read full post »

The following are effective immediately!

4.1 Rejoice for the End of the Glenn Beck show is Here!
Effective immediately, Glenn Beck fans should look on the bright side. Now I know you're sad about the announcement this week that Dear Leader's TV show has been canceled, but keep your chin up!… Read full post »

If future historians continue their tradition of using wars to mark time passing, I suggest they title the chapter about the present decades "The Era of the Oil Wars." For as long as I can remember, from long before my birth, and into a foreseeable future, the key driver behind most… Read full post »

The following are effective immediately!

3.1 Operation Infiltrate Libya (O.I.L.)
Effective immediately, oppressed people of the world will have the decency to be murdered in the vicinity of a dwindling and natural resource valuable to the USA and its allies. Look, it is regrettable that you're about… Read full post »

The following are effective immediately!

2.1 Social Schism
Effective immediately, Teabaggers must stop labeling everything they hate as socialist. It's obvious they don't know what socialism is. And why should they care? If an idea is good, there's no need to fret over what category it's in. Teabagge… Read full post »

The following are effective immediately!

1.1 Less is Moral
Effective immediately, the argument that more guns will result in less gun violence is declared completely invalid and can no longer be used. Every time some nutjob goes on a shooting spree, other nutjobs say that more guns would have prevent… Read full post »

As I write this, there's a full-on effort by the Republican party to remove federal funding from public broadcasting. Possibly by the time you read this, the effort will have succeeded. One rationale for the attack is that public broadcasting is an unnecessary burden on the government's budget, which… Read full post »

When it comes to superhero powers, being able to bore people into submission probably isn't on the top of anyone's wish list. It's just not sexy. If you're going to be like most superheroes and walk about in public wearing brightly colored underwear, it follows that you would want to be… Read full post »