MAY 17, 2011 10:34AM

Ten Things That I’ve Said Thanks To My Kids

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Sometimes, I stop and listen to myself and think: Wow, parenting is ridiculous. Mostly because I’ve had to say all of these. Sometimes more than once:

1) I FOUND THE MONKEY!

2) Please tell me you didn’t put that in your vagina.

3) We only pick our nose when we think no one is looking.

4) Take the dog out of your mouth.

5) I wish that I was tall enough to catch your hands before they flew away.

6) I’m pretty sure octopuses don’t make that noise.

7) YOU’VE WON A GIANT MARSHMALLOW FOR PEEING IN THE POTTY! {throw marshmallow} Oops, let me get you another one…

8) Well, I would use my magical powers to stop the small green men from getting you.

9) I’m sorry, but pants are only optional in the BACKYARD.

And my favorite:

10) You don’t have to be Batman today.

May you have a Marshmallows-for-Peeing kind of day.

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This brings back so many fun times.. no really.. my son (now probably your age) wore a batman cape (towel with a pin) around his neck for a straight year. I forgot about saying you don'thave to be batman today.. but there is always spidey and superman.