When I Have Time

I'll read more, write more and make more sense


Oregon, USA
October 27
Medical Transcriptionist
Painter of furniture and canvas, typist for longwinded doctors. Mother and ex-wife.


APRIL 21, 2010 7:16PM

another trend of which I was blissfully unaware

Rate: 28 Flag

So, the state sent me a check today, a child support check not from my ex, but from me.  They take 50.00 out of my paycheck then mail it to me because I no longer owe child support to anyone.  It's a system I do not mind because I get the child support check before I get my paycheck, so okay, I'm easy.  And I decide I will take my little shopping cart (I have no car) which my friend and I call the eco-cart and my kids call the ghetto cart up to Winco to stock up on yogurt, chocolate Chex, dog treats, cheese, fruit, and hot dogs.  Sorry Alice Waters, these turkey franks are only a dollar and we like them. 

So I put on my not-recently-washed clothes because I will do laundry on payday but I'm showered.  My hair is clean and I'm a 50-something-year-old woman with my hair clipped to the side, but I have taken a little care with my appearance.  I have my lipstick and foundation on.  More than that makes me look not good.  So you know, I care.  I want to be accepted by society. 

I once quoted Alice Munro in an old post where she said that she could have seen herself in her home town as one of the ladies she knew who you would see walking to the store silently pronouncing:  "Think what you like; things have gone too far for me now."  They had very obviously given up.  She said she could have gone this way if she had not married and just lived in her father's house waiting for her library books to come in, and just going to the grocery now and then as her only contact with the outside world.  Well that has not happened to me just yet.  I work at home but you can count me in.  I clean out my closets.  I mop my floors and make regular meals everyday though I get little company.  I feel I'm still in touch.  I do my volunteer work and even though I'm an atheist I just joined a church group.  I need community.

So I was shocked when I got off the Max with my little cart and walked up to Winco and saw a sign on the electric doors saying:  "Bicycle-Riding Prohibited in Store."  How did this get by me?  The obvious conclusion I come to by reading this sign is that someone or some people must have been riding their bikes in this store in order to do their shopping.  Where the hell have I been?  It's a trend that bypassed me entirely.  I have never ridden a bike in a Winco store (not that I wouldn't want to) and now I am prohibited from doing so.  I just can't keep up. 

Author tags:

left out again, fads, winco

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but I have my chocolate chex and yogurt. That's something.
You are what keeps Portland weird and wonderful......thanks.

I did ride my unicycle in Bi-Mart while shopping for Three Musketeers.
Thanks for the belly-laugh. Usually these days only my little granddaughter hands me reason for one of those.
Next thing you know, they'll start making keys for stores that stay open 24 hours a day!
I love this kind of writing. I too missed the biking in the supermarket aisle thing too. That would be too surreal. WTF?
I like the strawberry chex too! :)
You crack me up.

I barely keep up - I might be a hair's breadth away from things having gone too far. I better go clean a closet or mop a floor.
Working at home, with foundation on? you are downright sophisticated! When I worked at home, I would rush to me room to grab decent clothing and brush my hair when I saw someone come down the drive. I guess bike lanes will never be put in the grocery stores, those damn messenger rider types would foul things up.
*my* room ( I sounded like a pirate there, sorry)
This was interesting. I could identify with some of it. Rated.
Love your comments about Alice Munro. Love your writing,too. I will have to share this with my favorite AM fanatic...
Wow-how! I love me some comments.

Thank you Bonnie. Everyday life is often ridiculous.

I do keep Portland weird and wonderful, but I am also the Catherine Deneuve of Trimet. As I said, I do not know if I believe your unicycle Bi-Mart story. That store is too high-end, Mr. Fawkes.

Dayna--So glad to lighten the load of your granddaughter. I'm mean or funny, you never know.

I don't get it Scanner, sorry.

Thank you Stellaa. Another moment from my life, checking back again and again to read my comments. I'm obsessed!

Fernsy, I love to be loved and WTF? Exactly.

LL2, I cannot find the strawberry Chex anymore. WTF?

CAV, ah yes, mopping floors and cleaning closets--the way to stay connected, that and an expensive coffee at an overpriced coffee shop. I left that out. So happy to amuse.

Rita, you misunderstand me. the foundation and lipstick are for Winco and Trimet. I do not wear them at home; that would be way crazy. You did sound like a pirate for a minute. Your cockney accent creeping out. Next you'll be typing Fursday for Thursday.

Nice to meet you, Shirley. Thanks.

Susan O--That is from her semi-memoir. Glad you liked it.

Thanks everyone!
I saw a guy riding a bike through an airport. How the heck did he get it past security?
Dianaani: I said I loved the writing --not you. I'm not that easy. ;)
I like bike. And I like you. You're alive to so many things.
Any signs about "No Boats Allowed"?
I'm so glad you clued me in on this. I work from home, too, and wasn't aware that I couldn't ride my bike while shopping. I mean, who saw *that* coming? Next thing you know they'll make you leave your lawn tractor at home, too. Sheesh!
Ocular--that's truly bizarre. Why on earth would you need a bike in an airport?

Fernsy, you have me confused with someone else, but point taken.

Thank you Leon. Mostly I am alive to survival and confusion.

Leepin Larry--I guess no boats allowed is implied, but left to the judgment of the consumer.

Lisa--I am so happy to help. These rules come out of nowhere and we are just left to cope as best we can.
Latethink: I totally knew who you were and just .... dianani came out.
Very very strange.
Ok, why pretend, I love you.
Ooooh. No bike riding in the store. That is my fault, I think. When I was ten years old, I rode into a thrifty mart...they've finally caught up with me nationally. xox
If a store never closes, why do you need a key to open it?
Jane--Mascara makes me look like a tired old whore--not that there's anything wrong with that, but it is worse than a raccoon. You sound wistful for your time on the scooter. Sounds like you and your sister had a blast that night! Thanks.

I knew it, Fernsy. Love you too.

Thanks Robin, as long as you have YOUR fun.

OK, Scanner, now I get it, sorry.
you would not want to see me riding a bicycle, in store or not, as that would be a sight way farther than gone.
hey! fernsy loves me over here, or something.
I didn't know about the bicycles. One more reason to try out your local farmer's market, I bet you can bike through it! I for one am disturbed about the chocolate Cheerios thing, it just seems wrong to me.
I like to think of giving up as very Buddhist. Of course, I haven't been to the laundromat in four months, so I would.

There's still roller skating.
this is a delightful post from end to end.
Diannani--Maneuvering through the grocery store on foot takes cunning and strategy. A bike would be hopeless, and yet I have to assume it's been done. And yes, Fernsy loves you.

Ablonde--Oh the farmer's market! There are people there with those bikes with the little attached carts for the kiddies. Those things scare me to death. I think of them getting run over by a car like in a roadrunner cartoon. My head is filled with perversions. But yes, can't wait for the farmer's market to get here.

Stellaa--SF airport must be huge. I have been to Chicago and Atlanta airports--no bikes and it's just as well.

Mumbletypeg--Yes, giving up on the big things can be zen and I have done that, yet I cling pathetically to the small triumphs, like making my bed and getting dolled up to go to the grocery store. If it were just me, I might never do laundry. I washed some things in the sink last night.

Greg--Thank you. I live for praise.
Wonderful post! This made me laugh so hard!