So, the state sent me a check today, a child support check not from my ex, but from me. They take 50.00 out of my paycheck then mail it to me because I no longer owe child support to anyone. It's a system I do not mind because I get the child support check before I get my paycheck, so okay, I'm easy. And I decide I will take my little shopping cart (I have no car) which my friend and I call the eco-cart and my kids call the ghetto cart up to Winco to stock up on yogurt, chocolate Chex, dog treats, cheese, fruit, and hot dogs. Sorry Alice Waters, these turkey franks are only a dollar and we like them.
So I put on my not-recently-washed clothes because I will do laundry on payday but I'm showered. My hair is clean and I'm a 50-something-year-old woman with my hair clipped to the side, but I have taken a little care with my appearance. I have my lipstick and foundation on. More than that makes me look not good. So you know, I care. I want to be accepted by society.
I once quoted Alice Munro in an old post where she said that she could have seen herself in her home town as one of the ladies she knew who you would see walking to the store silently pronouncing: "Think what you like; things have gone too far for me now." They had very obviously given up. She said she could have gone this way if she had not married and just lived in her father's house waiting for her library books to come in, and just going to the grocery now and then as her only contact with the outside world. Well that has not happened to me just yet. I work at home but you can count me in. I clean out my closets. I mop my floors and make regular meals everyday though I get little company. I feel I'm still in touch. I do my volunteer work and even though I'm an atheist I just joined a church group. I need community.
So I was shocked when I got off the Max with my little cart and walked up to Winco and saw a sign on the electric doors saying: "Bicycle-Riding Prohibited in Store." How did this get by me? The obvious conclusion I come to by reading this sign is that someone or some people must have been riding their bikes in this store in order to do their shopping. Where the hell have I been? It's a trend that bypassed me entirely. I have never ridden a bike in a Winco store (not that I wouldn't want to) and now I am prohibited from doing so. I just can't keep up.


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Comments
I did ride my unicycle in Bi-Mart while shopping for Three Musketeers.
I barely keep up - I might be a hair's breadth away from things having gone too far. I better go clean a closet or mop a floor.
Thank you Bonnie. Everyday life is often ridiculous.
I do keep Portland weird and wonderful, but I am also the Catherine Deneuve of Trimet. As I said, I do not know if I believe your unicycle Bi-Mart story. That store is too high-end, Mr. Fawkes.
Dayna--So glad to lighten the load of your granddaughter. I'm mean or funny, you never know.
I don't get it Scanner, sorry.
Thank you Stellaa. Another moment from my life, checking back again and again to read my comments. I'm obsessed!
Fernsy, I love to be loved and WTF? Exactly.
LL2, I cannot find the strawberry Chex anymore. WTF?
CAV, ah yes, mopping floors and cleaning closets--the way to stay connected, that and an expensive coffee at an overpriced coffee shop. I left that out. So happy to amuse.
Rita, you misunderstand me. the foundation and lipstick are for Winco and Trimet. I do not wear them at home; that would be way crazy. You did sound like a pirate for a minute. Your cockney accent creeping out. Next you'll be typing Fursday for Thursday.
Nice to meet you, Shirley. Thanks.
Susan O--That is from her semi-memoir. Glad you liked it.
Thanks everyone!
Fernsy, you have me confused with someone else, but point taken.
Thank you Leon. Mostly I am alive to survival and confusion.
Leepin Larry--I guess no boats allowed is implied, but left to the judgment of the consumer.
Lisa--I am so happy to help. These rules come out of nowhere and we are just left to cope as best we can.
Very very strange.
Ok, why pretend, I love you.
I knew it, Fernsy. Love you too.
Thanks Robin, as long as you have YOUR fun.
OK, Scanner, now I get it, sorry.
There's still roller skating.
Ablonde--Oh the farmer's market! There are people there with those bikes with the little attached carts for the kiddies. Those things scare me to death. I think of them getting run over by a car like in a roadrunner cartoon. My head is filled with perversions. But yes, can't wait for the farmer's market to get here.
Stellaa--SF airport must be huge. I have been to Chicago and Atlanta airports--no bikes and it's just as well.
Mumbletypeg--Yes, giving up on the big things can be zen and I have done that, yet I cling pathetically to the small triumphs, like making my bed and getting dolled up to go to the grocery store. If it were just me, I might never do laundry. I washed some things in the sink last night.
Greg--Thank you. I live for praise.