I am a single quark in a universe that is more expansive and infinite then any Stephan Hawking has imagined. In a nut shell, I am unemployed. My mind will not stop learning and taking in new information. It is the voice that has been silenced. I am a victim/casualty of the great recession of 2007.
To those few who follow the words I write, please forgive my writers block and lack of blogs since November 2011. Of the countless thoughts I have wanted to share, drive and action have been sorely lacking.
I could easily blame this on the depression of mind that grips those who wait for winter’s cold embrace to birth into the joy of spring. Or perhaps depression brought on by the republican congress coming into being or the shooting tragedy that was soon to follow. These would only be scapegoats for a deeper malady. I feel it is the constant need to talk about things that I have no control over and my utter fascination and watching of said circumstances that drives me to loss of words on paper, until today.
The fact that as an unemployed American; now typing these words from his mother’s basement, I have been in a self-imposed prison of the mind or as it were, basement. I believed that as a Human without a job, I could not raise voice to the injustices of the world. My voice should and did remain silent. Only those who pay taxes deserve a voice. Only those who grind the 9-5 are worth being heard.
These things all being true, I find I have been gifted with an object that many of these very people yearn for and scientists’ whose minds are light years ahead of mine; have tried to tame, this thing I now control is time.
I sit back and inhale as much information about the world as I can. My soul weeps with the injustice and greed which it sees. Yet, like a 49er panning for gold in the mountains of California circa 1849, I glean a glimmer of shine through the filth and turmoil of our world.
Men and women who emanate through the fog of war that is battlefield Earth, I see them and they offer water to a parched soul.
John Stewart, Bill Maher, Keith Olberman, are fine men who bring water and laughter to those who wish to drink and laugh. The laughter helps right my sinking ship.
President Obama; whose words conjure images of Martin Luther King Jr, John F Kennedy Jr, and even Mahatma Gandhi, is a single man who holds everything that is great about our nation on his shoulders. He only waits for us to follow towards the America he knows we can become again.
Never forget the strength of a woman who was nearly taken away from us. Her courage to fight for a life she was not willing to end. A woman who fights to this day in rehab hoping against hope to join her family as a normal human being, Gabrielle Giffords showed us how important life is. She is showing us how to be American again.
We have delved into a depression that is rotting and ugly, we as a people, as a country. We stood on our borders with weapons and flags; we were riled into believing the other was out to get us. We did vile things to our fellow Americans and said vile things about our neighbors.
In our fear we gave up our freedoms for a false sense of security, Benjamin Franklin wept from the stars.
Our elected officials said their #1 job would be bringing jobs back to the American worker; I sit and wait for them to stop voting on abortion bills, repeal of a health care law which they know will not bare fruit. One month has fallen through the hour glass of time and no legislation to get Americans back to work has passed.
My rant is coming to an end. Please allow me to offer a few words of addition to some passages past. I came to my mother’s home from my own this past December because yes I was poor, but also due to her having reconstructive knee surgery. I figured since I am a strong overweight 32 year old man (though I have not felt like a man for some time) I could help shovel snow and do the things that need doing around the house when one is confined to crutches.
In my 2 months here in her home, I have left the house sparingly due to shame and avoidance of strangers who may ask the dreaded, what do you do for a living? I also looked for jobs. I repeated this process more times then I want to count and relived all my past unemployment failures and disasters.
Every application filled out was like a replay of the life of Gabe’s failures. This above everything weighed most heavily on my soul.
I am going to be making tires in a factory in the Midwest. With this new found pride and purpose, my voice will be heard again and those who do not put purpose on jobs in Washington look out, because I do not plan on making tires for long.