Feeling a little unsteady this morning. Whoa. Make that a lot unsteady. And frankly, that ad for the molten cheese bacon taco supreme at the bottom of my blog isn’t helping. Urp.
Huh, it’s not morning anymore? Well, whatever.
Still trying to piece together what happened last night. It’s all a little fuzzy at the moment, but I’m thinking I might have been hitting the crème de almond a little too hard. Pink Squirrels are my Achilles’ heel; just one sip of that frothy pink elixir and all willpower goes out the window, or wherever it is that willpower goes. In my case, I think it’s under the bed with the dust bunnies (who have now evolved into dust hippopotami) and my stack of unread New Yorkers.
But wait…I’ve been out of crème de almond for two weeks now…
No, it’s got something to do with a casino…good god, was I gambling again? Even after being informed by my financial planner that nickel slots are not an adequate alternative to setting up a 401k? But I do see some sort of screen, and what looks like a lineup of…it’s coming, it’s coming…eureka! OS avatars!
Yes, it’s all coming back! I was reading Vegas posts until well past 3 a.m. I read the recaps. Then I read the recaps of the recaps. Then I read the posts by people who were hurt because they didn’t go to Vegas. Then I read the posts by people who didn’t go to Vegas but didn’t want to anyway. Then I read the posts about the posts by the people who were hurt by the original posts. Then I read the posts about the posts about the posts about the original posts. Then I saw pictures of Cindy Ross’ extremely cluttered kitchen, which makes mine look like Steve Blevins’ operating theater. Then I went to bed and had very peculiar dreams.
And now I am answering the siren call of that ad that keeps flashing at me from the bottom of my blog. No, not the molten cheese taco supreme. The other one, for Lucinda Basset’s Midwest Center for Anxiety and Stress Disorders. And, what’s more, I’ve decided that the whole OS enterprise is in fact one giant conspiracy to drum up business for Lucinda Basset. But I no longer care; I’m checking myself in.
See you in group therapy.
TIP:
Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
2HLions
Bellwether Vance
Matthew Lawrence
Chris Brown (not the felon)
Sharon Kay
Graham Sale
Salon.com
Comments
Also, I'd be very hurt if you had a North Bay Meetup. Or if anyone ever met anyone ever anywhere for any reason. Or if anyone ever goes to Las Vegas ever again. Please notify the airlines of this.
I'm very sensitive.
Might make things a bit more interesting. I hear you, Laurel, and was just about to put up a post myself.
Any chance we could get rooms in adjoining wings?
For you, dear lady, in your time of need:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnzHtm1jhL4
I think I just guffawed up a piece of lung.
JK -- colon cleanser ad? you mean the one for a molten cheese bacon taco supreme?
Stellaa -- as long as you cook.
Brilliant, woman.
I am going to search for the recaps of the recaps of the recaps of the "Fuck You Vegas Assholes" posts.
@Bill S -- maybe we could even share a suite, as long as you don't snore
@M-peg -- omg, I wondered what that strange thing was in my taco. Please cover your mouth in the future
@sandra -- so much for what happens in vegas staying in vegas, eh? Btw, your kitchen is MUCH nicer than Cindy's.
--rated--
P. S. I'm STILL laughing at "hair of the blog, you funny girl!
There's even talk of an upcoming deep sea fishing excursion.
And yet there are times when the place tends to get monotonous - so i may be calling on you to help me lift that heavy water fountain in the activity area. Try to lift using your legs, I'd feel awful if you threw out your back.
Also, bring sneakers and an assortment of dark clothing.
I look forward to meeting you.
@noah tall -- will do! btw, are you any relation to jonah armey or i.p. daley?
@micalpeace -- thank you. hey, haven't I seen you over at Jeff's? Making note to check out your blog.
@ocularnervosa -- maybe you can order one off my blog. I could use the cash
@verbal -- all kidding aside, you are one pretty gal!
@cberg -- I never heard of a Brown Squirrel. But I think I've got all the ingredients!
@eva t -- not only a bad pun, but it didn't even work
okay, I'm going to go read some other stuff, then back to comment on the rest, should you be waiting with bated breath
@ Mothership -- thanks! And belated sympathies for that nougat life glitch moment...but maybe it was all for the best ;-)
@Maria -- I think we've found the PERFECT spot for the next OS meet-up. Do you suppose they might offer a group discount?
@Jeff -- Okay, I'll accept having my prose capped off with an ad for brightening yellow teeth, and I'll even go along with the one for melting belly fat, but I'm drawing the line at colon cleansers!
@UK -- sounds like you're ready to join me at the clinic
@mr mustard -- I think you're right. And they may double as colon cleansers.
@Lisa -- okay, it's a plan!
@HB -- ativan, lithium, thorazine, stelazine, respiradol, depakote...whatever the doc orders
@Spudman -- for a minute, I thought you said you had an ad for LSD on your blog! You were about to earn yourself some adsense dollars!
@ owl -- yes, the walk did help
@angus -- hey, old friend, how are things out in the Maritimes? or are you still in Branson? I'm starting to get confused again. But I'm glad you're going to be there at the center. But a deep sea excursion sounds a bit ominous. I'm still remembering the scene with Tony and Big Pussy.
@??? damn, by the time I get back up here, I forget who's next. Time for a little break, I think.
(Sorry, it's the wine talking) :)
@uk -- just extend your arm...Dr Basset is going to give you something to calm you down.
@w/o a paddle -- what colon cleansing ad? I can't see it! I think you guys are messin' with me.
@ Buffy -- I bet you're right! Just like Bobby in that third season of Dallas.
L&P -- I checked; they do allow dogs, but as you might suspect, only Basset hounds
suznmaree -- going cold turkey is probably the best advice I've had all day. I see more vegas posts coming online, but I WILL NOT CLICK, I WILL NOT CLICK
p.s. set the New Yorkers on fire; it's better than sex.
latethink -- mywrinklesarecured.com???!!! Sign me up; I think I grew a few new ones overnight.
lea -- thanks, I feel so much better now.
But I can't help but think that it's just another way those effin' ads sukke. I mean, suque. I mean, suck.
They aren't the sign of the gods - au contraire.
Having been gone, I am just catching up on the Vegas goodies, loved the photos -- but now have to go check out Cindy's kitchen! If I'm up until 3AM tonight it's all your fault!
When I'm away for long stints, coming back is a bit dizzying. I think I'm supposed to be hurt that people are posting without me. Or that they aren't at least TELLING me they are posting. Or that the ARE telling me. I get it all mixed up. Anyway, THIS was hilarious.
Wanted to say I miss your posts, Laurel, and hope you're doing fine.
Drop me a line sometime and let me know how things are. :0D
Your planner is a liar!! Best alternative to a 401k!! :D