lawyagurl

lawyagurl
Birthday
December 31
Bio
I am infinitely ME....and there ain't a DAMN THING you can do about it. NYAH NYAH! With that said, I thought that the one paragraph would force some folks to READ and find out who I am. Didn't happen. So, in order to stop explaining "WHO I BE" during comments here goes nothin': I was born with Sickle Cell Disease and Diagnosed with Cancer. I am married to an Active Duty U.S. Army member; and the two of us are parents to three children and a doggie who does not think she is a child. She insists that WE are all dogs. I am an Attorney born of an Attorney and a Physician. I was a teen mother. I have lived in project housing while attending college and then law school on Scholarship. I practice mainly in the areas of Criminal and Family law when I am well enough to do so (wich is not often right now). I have also had the pleasure to teach Legal Courses to college students, and English in one of the worst school systems in the midwest filled with what the city called "underpriveleged children" and treated as throw aways. I stumbled upon OS by mistake, and decided to buy the ticket and take the ride. I cuss, I don't censor myself, and since I have been nuked and fried, I forget words and spellcheck. Now, You are being lazy...read and find out the rest.

JULY 14, 2011 12:00AM

Abandoned Bodies....a Spoken Word

Rate: 5 Flag

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I hope there are more children out there like Delilah who will find good homes. Thank you for sharing this.
This is my son. He just turned 18. We knew he was a painter, but didn't realize he was a poet until he started posting videos. "Delilah" is one of his dear friends with the initials A.B. (thus the Title...her intitials) I keep trying to get him to agree to go on the spoken word circuit during breaks from school (he is about to start college on football and art scholarships) but he isn't sure if he is good enough yet. When he starts posting more videos, I am going to post them also and prove him wrong. When you have a talent, you should share it (just my opinion. God gives it to you for a reason)
This is my son. He just turned 18. We knew he was a painter, but didn't realize he was a poet until he started posting videos. "Delilah" is one of his dear friends with the initials A.B. (thus the Title...her intitials) I keep trying to get him to agree to go on the spoken word circuit during breaks from school (he is about to start college on football and art scholarships) but he isn't sure if he is good enough yet. When he starts posting more videos, I am going to post them also and prove him wrong. When you have a talent, you should share it (just my opinion. God gives it to you for a reason)
I'm not an expert, but I liked it.
Okay, then. I am an expert, and this is a pretty incredible piece of work from a teenager....but I remember what it was like being a teenager who writes, so I feel for your son. I know what it's like to be him. I really do. There are some cues here. The use of repetition is very important in poetry, but there's something even more powerful, which is the use of word sequences that feel like repetition but aren't exactly repetitive, and that's what he's doing in this piece. I've only listened to it once but I want to catch these thoughts. I will go back and listen again later. Several things jump out at me. One is that I can feel the rap influence in the alliterative patterns, but he isn't rapping. This is more subtle. But I can hear the rap in the poem, the song. (By the way, retake this and tone down the piano. It is too loud. It should be a very soft background.) The next thing: either publish the words in a comment or, better still, put the words in a scrawl over the image.
Better three, use a cross fades between several images of your son, and of the little girl, any little girl, at different ages. Then, if you haven't already, put this on YouTube.

Finally, sit your son down with a bunch of Bob Dylan songs. Not the records. The printed songs, which are available free from Dylan's website. (A fucking great website by the way.) He needs to study Dylan the way Dylan studied the poets before him. It will open his eyes both artistically and in terms of content.

Just my two cents worth.

PS. I am also sagemerlin here. So when I say I am a poet, well, yes, I am a poet.
Hey kid: small ass kid is trite....find something else.
This is so unlike everything else here. Your son has talent! Will check him out youtube.
Thank You Alan, I shall pass the info along to him!