Man of my life, my late-in-life love.
I had interviewed him twenty-five years before, and I felt intimidated. He said he remembered that.
On our first date, he asked me to sleep with him, and I was surprised. And I did.
On our tenth date he asked me to marry him, and I wasn’t surprised.
And I did.
We worked at home, writing in separate rooms, and when we passed each other in the hall by the kitchen – every single time – we hugged.
I pleased him because it pleased me and he pleased me because it pleased him.
That’s the way it should be.
He would read a book when I had a meeting and no matter how long he waited he’d grin when he saw me. I would watch Yankee games with him and learned the names of all the players. (Well, except for a few of the pitchers.)
He thought my forgetfulness was charming. I thought his lack of pretense was humble.
We never worked at it. We never needed to.
When we traveled to wondrous places together he was as curious as a child. But we were just as content watching birds at the feeder or deer by the pond.
We confided about past pains and sorrows. And we listened and cared and understood.
We always held hands. We slept holding hands.
He got me cooking again.
When people asked how long we were married he made it ten times longer, because he would have wanted that to be.
We were grateful that both of us, finally, were lucky.
Even when I nursed him through the cancer he said these were his happiest years.
And they were my happiest years because they were his.
I can remember his blue-eyed smile even in a darkened room.
He remains in my heart.
My late-in-life husband. My late husband.
My great love.
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Comments
What a gift your both were to each other.
He's still very much around......
Monte
This made me cry. And smile. Because I know so well all it represents. And feel almost guilty to have that still. But you don't let me.
You make as easy to accept your loss as to see and appreciate your great love. Your glass was so full, many would say it emptied when he died (and certainly for a while it did), but you are definitely a woman who sees the glass of life as more than half full and drinks lustily from it.
You're a genuine role model, Lea. Your confidence and grace. Your talent and determination. Your ability to share your stories, often as life lessons, without starring in them. That's not simply a gift, it's a way of looking at yourself and life we should all aspire to learn.
Thank you for this. May he rest in peace. And for you, l'chaim.
I really do feel joy when I read about love still there for so many of you. It is the greatest blessing of all, and I wish it for all.
Peace and Love,
Greg
Best to you!
My husband is 17 years older than I am -- the second time around for both of us -- so the preciousness of our days together is never far from my mind.
Your resilience and good humor is an inspiration.
BTW, Lea Lane, there is a country song with the long but apt title: "I have tears in my ears from lying on my back in my bed while I cry over you." So, tears in the ears resonates as well.
L not L, my husband was 12 years older and I used to joke, "Can't you do something about that?" and he's say, "If I did it would be all different. It is what it is." So, yes, there is a more precious quality when one is much older than the other. I guess it may intensify your awareness of time together and in a way that makes it even deeper..
O'Kathryn, Very cute. I guess I was onto something. Isn't there a Tears for Fears group. Not tears for ears.
Oh, and I tell her that, too. OS is too tempting, otherwise.
Thank you for sharing this, Lea. Truly amazing.
And all you sensitive guys who get this, do you have any idea how attractive and wonderful that quality is? This site seems to attract special, creative people.
Count me in.
Thank you for this utterly not self- conscious sharing of the eternal power that quite obviously permeated your relationship. By sharing, you have extended its power and influence into your readers' lives as well.
-aj
Lisa, so true. We take it and run with it for however long.
Thank you so much.
Ah, when to the heart of man
Was it ever less than a treason
To go with the drift of things,
To yield with a grace to reason,
And bow and accept the end
Of a love or a season?
====
Thank you for sharing true love. rated
I am sorry he is gone now, but so happy he was a part of your life and you his. Beautifully written. I think he is smiling!
MiddleAgedWomanBlogging, yes it was everything I could have hoped for, and I was in my 50s, so don't give up on it. Hold out for it.