Lea Lane

Lea Lane
Location
Florida, USA
Birthday
August 26
Title
freelance writer/editor
Bio
I've been around the block (more like around the world). I've played and loved and lived an unconventional life in conventional trappings. I've been a corporate VP, worked with foster kids, acted in an Indie ("Nurse 1"), was on Jeopardy!. I'll write just about anything, from speeches to comedy sketches to feature articles. I've been managing editor of a travel publication, authored six books, including Solo Traveler:Tales and Tips for Great Trips (Fodor's). I consider OS my home, but also blog on Huffpost and The Daily Beast. I've contributed (mostly anonymously) to everything from encyclopedias to guidebooks. I was divorced late, widowed early -- and dated lots -- and I survived a scary illness. After being happily, peacefully solo for many years, I just started a serious relationship. I founded and still edit www.sololady.com, a lfestyle Website for single women. I'm truly grateful for each precious day, each well-earned wrinkle, my family, my cat. Truth, laughter, friendship. And now this blog -- on this wonderful site!

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APRIL 28, 2009 5:10PM

Birth and Death: The Circle of Life

Rate: 50 Flag

7aged7r

The suddenness of the swine flu epidemic, and the talk of the very old and the very young, made me think of something I saw a few years ago. I watched a video at the Tate Modern in London, that massive, former electric plant on the Thames. It was Nantes Tryptych by Bill Viola (you can see a still, but the artist has not released the whole work -- I've looked). Anyway, a split screen showed a dying old woman on one side, and a woman giving birth on the other, and the two were  synchronized so that the moment of birth and death would be simultaneous. 

The video took 20 minutes and I didn’t have 20 minutes to stay at one installation, but I couldn’t stop watching, standing alone in the dark little space.

The old lady on the right screen, lay barely breathing. And the young woman giving birth on the left screen writhed and called out and pushed and strained.

And finally at the same moment the baby was born, wailing, pouring air into his lungs, and the old lady died silently, her small, silent breaths fading into stillness.

I remembered the births I had experienced, of my sons and one of my granddaughters. And the two times I had been at a dying person's bedside as they slipped peacefully away.

I stood in silence for a minute after the screen went dark, and I thought about the parallels of the newborn and almost gone: no hair, diapers, no teeth, inability to walk, weak immunity, dependency. And the miracle and the natural progression of the circle of life.

And I thought of Shakespeare’s "Seven Ages of Man," from As You Like It. At first, “the infant, Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.” And the last phase, “second childishness and mere oblivion, Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.”

And I went out of the Tate and into the swirling crowds, filled with people at every stage. Children running with their backpacks. Toddlers pushed in strollers by young mums, balding barrister-types hurrying along with their briefcases and brollies. And I pondered life and age.  And then I just let it go. I had to meet someone.

Time was short. And I realized that, more than I had going into the Tate.

 

The Seven Ages of Man

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players,
They have their exits and entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
Then, the whining schoolboy with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden, and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice
In fair round belly, with good capon lin'd,
With eyes severe, and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws, and modern instances,
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose, and pouch on side,
His youthful hose well sav'd, a world too wide,
For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice,
Turning again towards childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.

 

Don’t go for the long version? Shakespeare's words were compressed into a limerick by the historian Robert Conquest:

Seven ages: first puking and mewling,

Then very pissed off with your schooling,

Then fucks and then fights,

Then judging chaps' rights,

Then sitting in slippers, then drooling.

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Great post Lea. The limerick was a nice gift at the end.
This is one post I can guarantee I'll revisit. Very thought provoking. And I want to memorize the Robert Conquest abridgement.
I've got this memorized. (Lots of time at school and a lot of reading Shakespeare) A great soliloquy and a terrific post.
I was thinking about the flu too.

Thank you so much for this Shakespeare, the realities of life and death become sadly profound from his pen.

Amazing that one man, hundreds of years ago could produce and articulate such thought.

Thanks Lea, and I echo sheepdog with the thanks for the lighter hearted ending.
thank you for an eloquent post. --rated--
I love how you were able to bring all of us in the Tate with you to experience the moment.

I agree, ending with the limerick was a nice way to tie it up.
This is one of my favorite passages from Shakespeare. I saw the play in Houston many years ago. When well performed, the last line -- "Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything"-- is absolutely haunting. What makes the passage so effective is that it is buried in an otherwise comedic play. The passage itself is serious and profound, so the audience transitions from laughter to silent amazement very quickly.

Thank you so much for this wonderful post!
Yes, there seems to be a lot of talk on aging and death today. This says what needs to be remembered! Thanks, Beautiful as always. I can remember holding my new grandbaby just moments after my mom passed away. I had lost and gained. True beauty in life and death. The cycle.
Lea, you may be the only person I can think of who'd link Shakespeare and the Tate and the flu and come up with something so eloquent.

Might I add a line or two from the (much-missed) Laura Nyro:

"And when I die, and when I'm gone,
There'll be one child born in the world to carry on
To carry on."

Rated from someone in his slippers. (No drool -- yet)
Sheep, felt I needed the light-heartedness.

Steve, I'm impressed that you'd memorize the limerick. I'm not sure I can so easily anymore.

OR, you've got the real one memorized? Most impressive.

Ablonde, Shakespeare gets more incredible the older you get. Too bad we learn about him before we can fully appreciate the wisdom and insight.

Mr. (no longer mean) M, my pleasure.

Buffy, yes I was alone and wanted to share that profound experience, and now I have.

Steve, I too have seen the play and when an actor can say those heart-rending lines really well, there are few moments more moving.

Fabflamingo, so many times birth and death come at the same time in families. This was just art--exqusitely timed, and extremely moving and profound.

Boa, another great comment. You add so much to the thread with your additional songs and quotes. I do remember that song well.
I loved it, and dear old Shakespeare, he knew what he was up to when he sat down to write, thanks!
Boy – after your description of it – I’d love to see that 20-minute video from the Tate. I’ll have to check online to see if it’s around... Such lovely thoughts here – and a pleasure to read. It’s never a bad time for some Shakespeare! One of his most popular speeches from one of his most accessible comedies. Thank you, Lea.
Just hearing about this short video had a profound impact. I can only imagine what those moments were like for you. The circle of life is always there, yet I can say for myself I resist it and don't care for it one bit! Excellent writing Lea.
The wolf preys upon the old, the young, the sick, and sometimes the unlucky. The only question is which of those will we be when the wolf comes.

The thing that bothers me when I think about dying, and now again with the films you watched, is the thought of the party going on without me. It's like when I would be sick and stay home from school. There was something very lonely and humbling about the idea that everyone was going on with their day and their lives and would eventually stop missing me (if they ever did).

Interesting and thought-provoking post. Thanks.
Excellent post. thanks. I really don't like to be alerted of posts. And then they are this good. I have been to the Tate. They do terrific social, global impact pieces.
I like how you put these pieces together, too.
I like the original Shakespearean version of the Seven Ages of Man, although I'd title it a bit differently and add a stage or two. My father was in the seventh stage when he heard that our son's girlfriend was pregnant. This was not a joyous thing. At the time I thought it was tragic. My father didn't though. He beamed. He died before my grandson was born and I thought about the cycle of life and death and half wondered if Kellan wasn't gestating if my father would have died. Silly I know.

My mother says that on the farm, when someone died they used to say, "and here she comes!"

denese
Oh yeah, nice post Lea!Thanks for this and I'd love to see the video!
Rated
Marcela, "dear old" Shakespeare is a great way to put it. Kind of like "dear old" Einstein. Somehow he has become a part of our lives, like a brilliant old uncle.

phm, sometimes the tags are better than the posts.

David, I wish I remembered the videographer's name. I guess I will google if you don't and see if I can find it.

mary, it was strangely beautiful and strangely comforting, in a sad way. A real work of art.

noahvose, yes the wolf is a good metaphor. I always think that much when on before I was alive and much will go on after. The way of life. That's why I'm trying to live each day in the fullest way I can, flat out.

Annimal, thanks for giving this a shot. I'm glad you felt it was worth the visit. The Tate is something else.

Hells Bells, back at you.

Oh denese, what an interesting comment. Your father was no doubt comforted knowing that there would be a grandchild, even though it is so very sad they he never met him.
And that farm statement is fascinating.
Oh Lea,

My comment didn't make me cry but your empathy did. Painful but beautiful to watch someone you love so much take flight while another loved one is finished on this earth. Our son is expecting another child, this time a girl. We have been waiting so long for a girl child in this family. There really hasn't been one since me (and I'm 51). It's unspoken that we're all worried that my 88 mother won't survive this, even though she would gladly give up her place for Daniel's daughter.

When I used to ask my mom why people died, she said, "to make room for the babies, of course!"

Thanks for writing this and understanding.

denese
Reading this gave me chills; I wish I could see that installation. It sounds powerful and life-affirming.
Yet another thinking mans post
Love the limerick.
Thank God for Dentists,hair salons,and orthopaedic surgeons.
Junk1, I googled with key words looking for the video and guess what came up #1? This post!

denese, I hope the tears were ones of recognition that it did make your dad happy. Congratulations on your upcoming grandaughter. I have two sons, and two granddaughters, and I have to say that girls are a hoot.

George Sand, yes it was both life affirming and sad.

Peter, a new avatar! No more gray. Yeah! And yes, we can use cosmetics at least.
Lea,
Astoundingly profound! How well you interweave Shakespeare and universal human themes (of which he WAS the Master) into the tapestry of current events.
Lovely post.
--rated--
Lea,

"Of course!" said in the accent of my NY mother -in-law.

xox

d
Thanks Mothership. I'm certainly enjoying your series.

Denese, the NY accent can vary--Brooklyn? Long Island? The Bronx? Upstate? Subtle shades that many can pick out in a couple of seconds.
Lea,

Born in Manhattan, raised in Ossining, moved back to Manhattan during her teen years (went to Hunter), lived in Pearl River (Rockland, County) for all of her married years, and lives there still.

Oh, went to Bellevue for her nursing degree.

And it is pronounced, "Of Coarse!"

:-)

She's got Alzheimer's and isn't really with us now. She has been an incredible mother-in-law.

d
Lea,
The circle. Not to be feared or dreaded...just to be completed. And when we finish here, to begin again.

You always bring up interesting thoughts with compassion. Wonderful wonderful.
Great post - I've never heard of that limerick, though I had to memorize the Seven Ages of Man when I was in 7th grade.
Oh, thank you Lea. I have been thinking of this, too.
denese, for 30 years I lived 10 minutes from Ossining in a place called Pocantico Hills. I know the sound.

carol, maybe I can get to thinking like you. I'm not there.

sandra, lots of us had to memorize those words, but how many of us remember them? Well, maybe you do.

Phaedo, I don't quite get it ....

Brenda, I think when we are in troubled times we turn to words to comfort us and make sense of things. And no one is better than Shakespeare.
Don’t know if you or anyone found this out yet, but it looks like that video installation was called ‘Nantes Triptych’ by Bill Viola (1992), though it seems there’s no way to view or purchase it. I checked the artist’s site as well...
Thanks, Lea. Wonderful post.

One of the privileges of being a pastor was to be able to see both the alpha and the omega of life on this mortal coil within many families, often within hours of each other. One of the things that I noticed about there being a birth in the family fairly soon before or after an expected death was how the birth gave the family something to cling to, and the transition of the dying into " the closer presence of the Lord", as we Moravians call it, was made more natural and understandable as that cycle of life of which you speak manifested itself.

I remember that there were times when I would have three or four funerals in a two week period and I used to tell the congregation that if anyone had a child to be baptized this would be a good time to do it because we could all USE a baptism about then. Again, it was the cycle of life being experienced by the wider family of faith. And they always understood exactly what I meant.

Monte
This is wonderful. I wish I could have seen the video but you evoked it so well, I almost feel as if I did. We think things are permanent -- our youth, the things we love, relationships, our own egos. But -- if I can remember the quote correctly -- Spenser said that life is "eterne in mutabilitie." Which is to say, the only thing that doesn't change is change itself.
nice post, Lea, the Conquest limerick elevates it to the highest rank
David, fantastic. Yes, that was it! I couldn't find it. And I forgot about the water imagery in the middle. Wow, I'm really impressed.

Monte, as you may know I was married to a rabbi for a short while, and I too saw the many ceremonies of life and death that he performed. It gives you a real perspective of both joy and sorrow.

Faith, thank you for adding that Spencerian quote. The threads are so wonderful here.
each day is a gift
Quite a moment, Lea, and quite a post. I get dizzy sometimes, imagining the people coming into and leaving this world at any given moment; staggered by the gift. Thanks for this...
Wow. Really great topic. Nice post - it got me thinking.
Brian, my thoughts exactly.

Donna, you always put things exactly the way I would like to.

DM, yes it got me thinking too, years later. Great art can do that.
The triptych makes me think of the Live song Lightning Crashes.

lightning crashes, a new mother cries
her placenta falls to the floor
the angel opens her eyes
the confusion sets in
before the doctor can even close the door

lightning crashes, an old mother dies
her intentions fall to the floor
the angel closes her eyes
the confusion that was hers
belongs now, to the baby down the hall

I would have liked to see that video.
Yes, it's quite a thing to be in the room when a new life comes into it, and quite another thing to hold a man in your arms when his life leaves him. I'd like to see the triptych.

Always loved Bill S. He knew everything we know today.

Your limerick reminded me of the 60-second Hamlet. There are many versions; a good one lives here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/drama/shakespeare/60secondshakespeare/themes_hamlet.shtml

Rated. Loved.
Nice post. I would like to see that film- I can only imagine how powerful that would be. Trying to determine what stage I am in...
Dear Lea, Your description conjured up a different image for me; one that is also very powerful. I thought of the young pioneer women who died in childbirth. It was a common occurrence 150 years ago when my ancestors crossed the plains heading west to the Rockies. I've always been grateful to them. You have a wonderful way with words, and your posts always inspire me.

I know Shakespeare by heart, but I'd never heard of Robert Conquest; priceless!!!! Rated
You are really something, Miss Lea. Powerful. Sure got me thinking.
This is now my newest favorite post of yours. I seem to have a vague memory of seeing that video somewhere too, but being too young, impatient and in a hurry to watch the whole thing. If you could find a link to share, that would be amazing. Well done, Lea.
JustJuli, wow the references to the synchronicity of birth and death seem to be many. Thank you.

M B, I guess 99.9999 % of us are somewhere in the middle.

Helen, yes I've been at both births and deaths and the deaths were more peaceful and less violent, just like in this art work.

Ralph, art likes this makes us all conjure up different things.

cartouche, both David Decker and I looked for a video link, but I can't find one. Probably because it is an artwork Viola wants to keep for museums. I will look even more. But it is the meaning that lingers.
Thanks for the comment.
I once wrote, in a tribute to the bard and to one of my favorite improvisationalists Nipsy Russell:

Friends may come and friends may go
But I am always here.
A little smile, a little frown,
And one gigantic tear.
To Shakespeare, all the world's a stage
And we are merely players;
But if beauty is truly only skin deep,
Why are there so many layers?

I think I would have a hard time sitting through that video - I've been on the "life" side a couple of times already (witness to childbirth), so I imagine I'd spend the whole twenty minutes watching that poor woman expire, and wondering what I was doing sitting there watching it.

Thumbed. A wonderful interweaving of past and present.
Gosh, you get around, Lea! What a beautiful post. I would love to see a good performance of "As You Like It". That soliloquy is so rich.
Bill, yes it was hard staying, but I felt it was almost a sacrilege to leave, and I felt the need for closure. Thanks for the quote.

dustbowldiva, yes, because I wrote about travel for over 30 years I did get around. That was one of the joys of my life, and I have had ups and downs galore.
I think about this quite a bit, too, Lea, and I often use that phrase "circle of life" as well. We try to evade thoughts of mortality and then things like this epidemic -- or art such as you saw -- say, "No, wait, you must stop a moment and consider...." And I think that's a good thing.
Interesting connections... I like the way your mind travels.
Silkstone, whether it's the Lion King or Shakespeare, the circle of life is one of the great themes.

Thanks, ktm. I guess travels is one of the operative words, but lessons like these are usually close to home.
"Shrunk shank?" I must still be in stage five.
Dave, thanks.

Jimmy, if your shank is all that shrinks you're in good shape, whatever the phase.
this is fabulous. i love the tate experience. sounds profound and i love how you really get this and then run on to your next thing. what always kills me about brilliant works from other centuries, describing life and lifetimes and realizing that they only lived 35 or 40 years. well i'm sure some lived a long long time. but their sense of time was probably different. the limerick was the icing on the cake. love love love and gratitude
I'm so glad you mentioned Bill Viola. He's one of my mentors (I need to come up with a name for mentors you've never met before...missing mentors?)

I never saw that piece but I've seen several others. I like his views on the subconscious and creativity. He feels that his camera picks up things that he consciously didn't and this same rule can be applied to writing, I'm sure. When we give up this tight, cognitive approach to our writing, some things naturally stream out - very powerful things. That's why free writing is important.

As for the stages of life, I don't plan on drooling. I'm gonna skip that one somehow. Though slippers are nice.
Theo, yes Mozart or Keats are good examples of how art can live indefinitely, past the short lives of the artists.

Beth, I've seen other works by Viola as well and find him profound. And no drooling except when sleeping.
Lovely! Except for the drooling which I don't look forward to. Hopefully my nieces will keep me mopped up...
dcv, I'm going to get one of those dental vacuums if it gets too bad. But better drooling than no drool.
I enjoyed th epost. Loved this:

"And I pondered life and age. And then I just let it go. "

Perfect Lea.
Thanks, grif. I think you do have to let it go. It's all too much. A day at a time.
Not only are birth and death like ends of a circle, but life and everything in it seems to reverberate to what I call the undulant rhythm. I wouldn't presume to try and improve on Shakespeare, but breathing and fucking and birthing and eating and shitting all involve the same undulant motion, the force I believe fuels the universe.

Of course, none of us knows what happens after we draw our last breath, but maybe we are merely sucked back into the cycle as some religions suggest. I can't imagine the infinite, but I can conceive of a model, the undulant rhythm as a sine curve pulled back upon itself in three dimensions -- the very symbol we use for infinity.
Wow, Tom, fantastic comment! I can only say I think we have already experienced non-living. All the billions of years before our tiny spark of life together here on this planet. And what can we say of it?