theredbelt.com
It’s the flu season and breaking news is that the H1N1 (“Swine Flu”) virus can be moderated with one inoculation. But the ever-present UR1HTR virus (also called “hate flu” or “Republican flu”) has been spreading rapidly since November, 2008.
Heavily Infected Areas
The hate flu seems to thrive in the southern United States, with pockets found throughout the country, especially in rural areas. The Republican Party, especially its southern congressional delegation, is already suffering an epidemic. Being around those infected with the virus carries special risk, especially in the very young, the vulnerable, the mentally challenged and the uninformed.
Symptoms
UR1HTR virus symptoms include irrational hatred of people of color (especially those in positions of power), Jews, New Yorkers and all things French. Other symptoms include loss of brain cells, aversion to facts --especially scientific ones, minimal empathy, frequent invoking of God and the Second Amendment, chanting of slogans, love of NASCAR and World Wrestling Federation, screaming, fear of change, hypocrisy, and the ability to tolerate Dicks –including Cheney, Armey and Morris -- without vomiting.
Secondary symptoms include demonizing “the unfamiliar” or "other," linear thinking, weird hats, hooded sheets in the closet, lack of humor (except for The Cable Guy, Dennis Miller, and stale jokes about a priest, a rabbi, and a black man).
Extreme symptoms include placing leg up to shin in pie hole (“You Lie!” Wilson) paranoia (Bachmann, Dobbs), pride in ignorance (“Africa is a country” Palin) and megalomania (O’Reilly, Limbaugh, Beck). All of these symptoms are often shown by those infected early in life.
In worst cases the flu causes dangerous behavior including sheepish following of idiots/idols, loud repetition of falsehoods despite indisputable facts, demonizing of those who are different or who disagree, and violence including tendency to harm others through gunfire.
Those infected with the UR1HTR virus tend to gather (Tea Bag parties, Sept. 12 rally, town halls) where the virus spreads rapidly and infects others through media enabling. Subgroups (“Birthers”) often form. Disruptions (bitten fingers at town meetings) and Tourette-like statements (“He’s an Arab”) are common. Koolaid is usually copiously consumed.
Women with hate flu are often thin and blond, with loud whiny voices and secondary male characteristics (Coulter, Ingraham, Hasselbeck). Males often wear flag pins, often decrying same-sex relationships while displaying those tendencies (Rove, Tancredo, Hatch, Craig.)
While the UR1HTR virus cannot be yet eradicated, symptomatic relief can be achieved by removing: news organizations led by Rupert Murdoch or Roger Ailes, most talk radio, and websites like The Drudge Report. Virus victims have been known to make a fast recovery when something awful happens to them so that government intervention is needed, and if they travel to France and enjoy the snails.
At Special Risk
Children, older people, independents, family members of those infected, and those who: talk about religion excessively and /or are fundamentalists, have never left the country (or worse, the county), would benefit most from government programs, or do not have a college education (or have one from Oral Roberts, Bob Jones or any other institution with no SAT standards and a sexually-tinged name).
Those With Natural Immunity
Democrats, Union members, persons of color, atheists or agnostics, the over-educated, and travelers to more than 10 countries seem to maintain life-long immunity to the hate virus.
Boosters for Those Without Immunity
Washing hands, wearing surgical masks and coughing in elbow do not help. Quarantining those affected in southwest desert camps is considered unacceptable.
While there is no cure, the following seem to offer some protection against the virus (and may either exacerbate or moderate the symptoms in those who have already caught it): Michael Moore movies, Bill Maher, Keith Olbermann, Rachel Maddow, NPR, salon.com, The Nation, following Joan Walsh whenever she appears.
Important Request
Please spread this information about the UR1HATER virus (Facebook, email, twitter, digg, reddit, etc.) to help stop the spread. It is especially important to thwart the virus before November, 2010.
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Zyskandar Jaimot
froggy
Algis Kemezys
Me Myself
pokey squirrel
mypsyche
Salon.com
Comments
Not. But it could happen.
Rated.
Rule 1) If you can't convince them with logic, overwhelm them with bullshit.
Rule 2) If you can't win the debate on it's merit, question the character of the opponent.
Rule 3) Call them names.
Rule 4) Repeat rules 1, 2 & 3 incessantly.
These are not Republican rules, but rules that have been used by both parties ... often. It has been that way for decades. Rise above it!
One day there will be a candidate who will inspire us to debate our differences fairly, to realize that there are valid opinions other than our own; and that true success comes ... not when one side is satisfied to the exclusion of the others ... but when all sides feel they've been considered. One day there will be such a candidate.
I thought that day had come. I guess not. How can he separate his approach from the opposition, when his own supporters act just like the opposition. Think about it; you want to be like them ... or apart from them? A good cause can not justify bad behavior.
Some other truths:
1) That Obama consistanty takes the high road is his strength, not his weakness.
2) When we meet the opposition on their terms, they have won, and therefore Obama ... you and I ... can't.
3) Never get into a piss'n contest with a mule ... or people who but ink by the barrel. You can NOT win in either event.
4) Keep your eye on the God-damned ball! This isn't about who can call the most names; it's about promoting and supporting social justice and the principles of a real DEMOCRATIC society.
This, from a Republican. I apologize for the rant!
Denese, thanks for the support. You don't need a booster, either.
alsoknownas, sometimes waking up is worse than the dream. It could happen at any meeting nowadays.
Rod, thanks for the thoughtful comments. I get what you're saying, but raise you one: racism. It's shown its ugly head and once out is pretty hard to shove back to where it lurks. Any suggestions there?
This is absolutely brilliant, Lea! This should be top center cover and I hope it goes vifal....er, viral...( i just can't fix every typo)
A seriously cool post and funny, too!
I ask you to read my posts about my friend, Sol ... the "black" guy ... particularly the most recent. But essentially, he and I deal with racism by ignoring it. For some things ... how we are day to day ... reacting to something, even injustice, gives it its life, its recognition. If we need to change something legistlative, we (he and I) will attempt to do so. But day to day, we thumb our noses at it, even make fun of it, make others laugh at how rediculous it is. Trust me, we do. It shows racism for what it is.
BTW, Sol was born in the south, VA, has lived in the north in many locations (D.C., Eastern seaboard, most recently, Cleveland), is married to a white woman. I was born in D.C. ... largley black population, raised in N. VA., lived in Florida since age 13, traveled the U.S. a lot and lived in Montgomery, AL (knew George Wallace). Sol and I will both tell you, the "prejudice" of the south doesn't even begin to compare to the greater prejudice of the supposed "liberal" north. Look around close ... Alabama, Georgia, Mississippi ... and notice how many mayors, how many sheriffs, are black. Look at Atlanta, the most vibrany city in the south.
Where I live, a recent chief of police was black. He left to take a bigger job ... as chief. In my neighbor-city, Ft. Myers, a recent chief was black ... Larry Hart ... a close friend ... who came up through the ranks. He retired, but is now deputy Tax Collector in our county (Lee), and probable heir to throne, should the current collector retire. And believe me, Lee's prior history is much more parallel to that of Alabama then that of Palm Beach or Sarasota (my old home) or Orange County where the mouse resides. We are a rural, farm and ranch area, now on growth steroids. But cheap black labor was once a viable commodity here. Now look at us; cheap Hispanic labor is the viable currency. Color not a factor; cheap is the bi-word.
They say perception is reality. Politicians are tought this from the political cradle on. Preception s also sometimes blind to reality. Tha tis the case with the perception that racism is a southern disease.
Racism exists in the minds of some. They hate without provocation; they hate without cause. But they are fewer and farther between. On the other hand, failed programs create a myth, too, that can breed hate. If hate is warranted (it is not) it should be for the program and the people who run it, not the recipient.
We ... you and I ... eliminate racism the way all mis-perceptions are eliminated: One person, one day, at a time ... by the example we set; by the company we keep. Thanks for asking :o)
Oh, yeah, Sol said to tell you ... eliminate racism: Take a black man to lunch. :=) (we may coin that; make a tee shirt). He's available.
(Big Smile goes here)
I grew up Jewish in Florida at a time when there were colored fountains and white fountains (and even as a little girl I drank from the colored one. I went to university in the deep south and lived in and helped integrate Atlanta neighborhoods, and taught at Marietta High (the first integrated class there). You can read more about this in my posts about racism and my work in civil rights.
I too have lived in the south and in the north. I think that racism and antisemitism lurk deep inside many of us, and come out for different reasons, among them an accepting environment, ignorance and fear.
I think right now we're seeing a resurgence for just those reasons. Obama is a lightening rod to some as a charming, educated black man who has reached so high. Times are difficult. Some leaders are fostering ignorance.
Joan Walsh has an interesting column on this today. Anyway, I think we both wish for a better atmosphere for all.
*Sigh* I was thinking fondly of sending them all to Texas and letting them secede.
No, actually, your post is brilliant and this kind of craziness IS a disease - preventable and curable. I would say, though, that just going to one country - just one! - as a regular person and not a tourist will start to cure someone's xenophobias. Walking in their shoes, good therapy for those with the HTR virus.
Bill, I wish.
Kathy, I'm really thinking Coulter's adam's apple, but Hasselbeck has a type of aggression I think of as more male than female.
1WV, most definitely. (And good thing, as there are enough problems in this world, as you well know.)
1WV, thanks for the great addendum. The hate virus can infect anyone, but as I noted there seems to be a resurgence in certain wings of the Republican party. And they are outspoken and infecting others.
Brian, yes the last big outbreak seems to have been in the 20th century, but I think the virus has been around since humans stood up.
....Oh, I forgot, they already drained me!
Brilliant, Lea! Absolutely brilliant!
Ralph, "implode"? What would that be? And I doubt it will take that long, at this rate.
Owl, I think some humor is imperative in everything.
LandP, I'm sure neither of you suffer from the human problem I deal with here. You guys offer an example of unconditional love for people of merit.
Thanks for giving us the low-down on symptoms, Lea. I'll be on the lookout for those A-types. :-D
Thumbed, fluidly.
Great post, Lea. Rated
And Shiral, no doubt at all!
Really.
I'm buried here (at home and on OS).
d
You and a friend have the same name, but spelled differently. I should know better. EVERYONE misspells my name.
xoxo
d
Sally, so, so agree on the cancer vaccine.
denese (denise?-- ha), what can I do to help? What are you buried in? I feel like calling 911.
The baby boomers are going to be an interesting bunch of old timers, from what I can tell from those groups.
Anyway, Lea, you write these great essays and it's almost like it's timed to exactly when I need to hear it.
is it your voice or my ear? Probably both, but your voice first - which never fails to inform and delight. Thank you,
Carol, pot pie and Twinkie generation -- doesn't have the same ring as "Greatest Generation" but oh well.
I'm buried in trying to get people to agree on "reasonable facts." If we could agree on the "facts" then we could talk. Unfortunately, I seem to have friends and family that are hooked on Fox news, and Rush. Would would've thunk it? Not me.
Anyway, I go to site reputable think tanks and other organizations that are reasonable that are analyzing the health care bill, and they still think that I'm being unreasonable saying that Fox et al. is not a valid comparable source.
What to do (as they say in Sri Lanka)?
I am flummoxed.
Denese (three "e"s and no "i"s)
:-)
Fingers flying too fast.........
d
Also, the web--facebook, blogs, twitter. Keep up the drumbeat on what you feel and believe.
Sadly, this has not been the case.
d
Rated for the sentiment.
Anyone who reads this diagonstic gem will surely be innoculated for the short-term. We will, however require regular boosers. Keep your lab coat on and wear your protecive mask?
-rated-
Funny, loved it!