Lea Lane

Lea Lane
Location
Florida, USA
Birthday
August 26
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freelance writer/editor
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“I’ve discovered the secret of life,” Kay Thompson, the eccentric entertainer and “Eloise” author, once said. “A lot of hard work, a lot of sense of humor, a lot of joy and a lot of tra-la-la!” And that's been my life: As a travel writer for over 30 years, I've been around the block (more like around the world), and I write true stories about interesting people and places. I've lived an unconventional life in conventional trappings. Been a corporate VP, worked with foster kids, acted in an Indie ("Nurse 1"), was on Jeopardy!. I've been managing editor of a travel publication, written for the Times, and authored books. OS is my home, but I also blog on The Huffington Post, and I've contributed (mostly anonymously) to everything from encyclopedias to guidebooks. Married young, divorced late; married late, widowed early, I dated lots in-between -- and survived a scary illness. After being happily, peacefully solo for many years, I'm now happily married again. I founded and still edit www.sololady.com, a lifestyle Website for single women. I'm truly grateful for each precious day, each well-earned wrinkle, my family, my cat. Truth, laughter, friendship, late love. And this blog -- on this wonderful site!

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JANUARY 15, 2010 9:32AM

On MLK’s Birthday: Reflecting on Racism Now, Racism Then

Rate: 66 Flag

MartinLutherKingJr

There has been jarring rhetoric in the last week: shocking racist comments about the Haiti crisis by Pat Robertson and Rush Limbaugh; the archaic usages of race and color of Senator Harry Reid. Today, on the eighty-first birthday of Martin Luther King, I’m thinking about my early years, shaped in Florida, Georgia and Texas throughout a period of racial upheaval.

I sometimes stood shoulder to shoulder with meaningful people I have referred to in my lifetime as “colored,” then “negro,” then “black,” now “African-American” -- connotative acknowledgment in those words of the evolving social changes in our country, despite the occasional throwbacks.

My late husband Chaim Stern told of his experiences as a Freedom Rider, traveling to the deep South in 1964 to test civil liberties and discrimination. He sat at Mississippi lunch counters and was part of “Freedom Summer” along with thousands of others, including the martyred activists Michael Schwerner, Andrew Goodman and James Chaney.

Freedon Riders36_2_2

newamericandream.net

 

My experiences were less dangerous, but as a young person growing up in the south, I felt a tiny part of an historical movement gathering strength, decade by decade. Among my indelible early remembrances during this time of racial divide:

--- Sitting on my unabashedly liberal, German-born grandmother’s lap in the cab of Johnny the gardener’s pickup truck in Miami in the early 1950s, the smell of fertilizer around us. He talks wearily as the neighbors stare at us from their jalousied windows. I may be a child, but I remember the pain in that man’s lined face.

-- Drinking from the “colored” fountain at Rexall’s drugstore. Maybe I was six, and I was surprised to find that the water tasted the same as the water from the “whites only” fountain.

WhitesOnlyFountain-1

 

--Walking, pigtailed and deliberate in the 1950s to the very back of the K bus in Miami, with head-turns from the whites in the front, weary smiles from the hotel maids and busboys and decent, darker-skinned people  I march toward. I wanted to join the folks in the back of the bus even as Rosa Parks defiantly sat in the front of a bus in Alabama.

-- Leading an orientation group of black students integrating the University of Florida in the early ‘60s, and getting heckled with racial epithets.

-- Teaching, then tutoring, the first black teens at Marietta High School, in Georgia, a formerly segregated high school, in 1966. Realizing that the struggling black students’ previous science textbooks  at Lemon Street School were published twenty years earlier, and it was almost impossible for them to catch up.

-- Befriending the only black teacher at Marietta High, a lovely woman who had been secretary to Gone With the Wind author, Margaret Mitchell. She warns me to consider the consequences of having lunch with her, but we break bread without incident.

-- Working with community organizers to integrate my white-flight neighborhood in south Atlanta, in 1967. We purposely rent a house in this area and attend a formal tea at the home of neighbors, Dr. and Mrs. Benjamin Mayes. He was the renowned and beloved president of Morehouse College, where Martin Luther King, Jr. had studied.

  Benjamin Mayes

Benjamin Mayes, avenuestosuccess.com

-- Volunteering for Andrew Young, (later to become the mayor of Atlanta), and other civil rights activists who worked alongside King.  These exceptional people are still ostracized by many white neighbors in the area.

-- Feeling despair the next year when I watch that balcony scene in Memphis on a black and white TV, and the smoldering riots it ignited. My husband, at officers-training at Ft. Sam Houston in San Antonio, was to ship off to Vietnam, leaving me at home for a year with our infant son. My husband tells me that almost all of the drafted soldiers he will be administrating will be black.

**

martin_luther_king_jr

Forty-seven years after King’s great speech at the Lincoln Memorial, forty two years after his death, a black man holds the highest office in the land, and King’s birthday is celebrated as a national holiday. In the span of my lifetime, the great civil rights leader’s dream of an America where his children “will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character” has just about come true.

Yet despite all the gains,  listening to reports on the devastation in Haiti, and some of the racist comments from wingnuts and their followers, I’m aware that Reverend Martin Luther King Jr’s struggle against racism and bigotry is never finished –even as we celebrate him on Monday.

 

 

 

 

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Nice tribute and elegant reflection, Lea. MLK's leadership was groundbreaking in the struggle for civil rights in this country. I'm honored to be able to remember those days, as you do, and to have witnessed significant progress, though there is much still to do.
Well done, Lea. You have a collection of vivid images from your life here that neatly sum-up the horrors of racism and the courage of those who fought it. (I'm impressed that your late husband was a Freedom Rider. Amazing courage, they needed!) Thanks for this.
What times we have lived through with so much exciting change. We had real leaders who didn't wait to be elected or paid. Leaders who saw a reason and rose to the challenge. Martin Luther King was a thrilling and inspiring man who still inspires with hope and the belief that we can keep changing and evolving into something better as a nation, world and as individuals. Thank you for sharing your own memories of one the greatest changes in this country, led by a powerful man - and another powerful man was Malcolm X - we need powerful men and women who don't wait or hesitate to make change - real leaders. Leaders who know how to dream for all humankind and then make those dreams reality.
Lea,
Thank you so much for this wonderfully penetrating and insightful glimpse into the last many years through your eyes and heart.

Nothing honors the memory of Dr. King more than those who consistently point out that we still have far to go.

The voices of intolerance and injustice may cry loudly but I believe love never fails. When people like yourself open their hearts to share the longing for equality and genuine humanity to prevail, while shining a light on racist influences in our world, I have no doubt that good will win the day.

Thank you for this deeply moving piece.
Rated and appreciated.
"Anybody here seen my old friend Martin,
Can you tell me where he's gone?
He freed a lot of people, but the good they die young.
I just looked around and he's gone."

There is so much I want to say here, Lea, about your courage and Chaim's and that of everyone else who stood for decency and equality and honour back in the day. But I'd pretty much have to do another post, so I'll just say this:

It was people like you who changed things, grassroots and bottom up to top. Yeah, the reactionaries are still out there -- their kind of evil will never entirely go away and the fight goes on -- but as long as there are those (and there are) still willing to put it all out on the line, they can't succeed.
Lea,
It is nice to know there are some decent people, here in Florida! On that note, did you notice the absence of any mention of what today is here? At least locally, there was nothing.
A deeply moving remembrance, Lea. Your account of the historic evolution of race relations in this country, from your viewpoint as a courageous participant, reaches my heart and mind and brought tears to my eyes - and I'd already shed tears over Scanner's love letter to his uncle. I'm about teared out here, lady. But they were good tears! Thank you for so eloquently sharing your experiences with us.
Lea, this is the best of Open Salon, right now. Your personal experiences are as fascinating to me as the rest of the events of that time.
Kathy, to have lived through that movement changes your view of progress. It is amazing in so many ways.

Pilgrim, yes the Freedom Riders risked death because the movement was so right.

Leonde, lack of leadership in politics has been obvious in the Republican party especially, and there are few grass roots leaders who can capture the idealism that is within us. Obama? Too cool, and yet as president he is the de facto leader of the world.

Dennis, yes many years and many memories. These are just snapshots of years in the south. Blacks and whites worked together in this cause, and the mood and the music and the cause were exciting.

Boa, there are always people who will respond, but if leadership is missing the potential response is wasted. For the last years we've had few idealistic, charismatic leaders. Limbaugh and Beck are examples of the opposite kind. We hope for it in Obama.

Kenny, the official celebration is on Monday. Maybe then.

Clark, welcome to the world of OS, where you can find laughs, tears and everything in-between.
thank you for sharing what you personally witnessed in those decades when racism was sanctified by law, when there was nothing nuanced or subtle about it. i remember, too, and you've written it so well, lea. the personal side of these stories is so important.
Wow, Lea, you are a really interesting person and you write elegantly about your experiences. This is a great tribute.
xenonlit, those of us who lived through the civil rights movement and were active in it, think of the personal moments and realize how each of them adds up to change. We are perhaps more patient, becausem we realize it takes many years to change things. But once things are changed, they rarely go back. That's why even a watered-down health care bill is better than none. It can be built upon, perhaps as a new cause.

femme, yes today racism is more nuanced. No one had to bother about that in the middle of the last century.
And *nothing* has changed for another race in America... which kind of makes mockery of the alleged lessening of racism in the US.
Lea ... WOW! What a well written post ... recalls so well Florida of the past. We have come a long way ... yet still have so far to go. Prejudice based on a race or skin color or gender is so utterly rediculous, it is almost impossible to believe, but for having seen it first hand. And I have friends who would say the north is even worse. Perfect timing for us to reflect.
drimh, thank you. I think I grew up in the south in interesting times.

MrsRaptor, some things have changed, I think, big time. We have elected a black president for one thing and when I was growing up that same man would not have been able to sit in the front of a bus. However, racism remains. And we see it all the time and we have to call it out.
Story for you:

Thirty four years ago, while on our honeymoon, my husband and I stopped for gas in Yamassee, South Carolina. As we came off the I-95 exit, we were pulled over by state troopers with sawed off shotguns. My husband freaked and, in his attempt to turn off the radio so he could speak to the trooper, he kept turning the cigarette lighter. Eventually, the trooper said, "Calm down, sir. Where are you headed?" "Just looking for a gas station," Mike replied. "No problem," the trooper continued while pointing to a group of black men who were lined up at the side of the road with their hands over their heads. "We gonna get these darkies. You have a nice day now."

Mike and I pulled away and drove a little further up the road. We were so in shock we could not speak. Seeing a gas station, we pulled in. Mike opened the car door and stepped out. Immediately we heard, "Hey, Jersey (our license plates). What you want here?"

A black man was approaching from the mechanics bay and, I'm ashamed to say, we got scared. After what we had just seen, we thought retaliation might be on his mind. Instead, he turned out to be a former Jersey-ite himself, and we spent the next few minutes chatting about our home state. When we left, he told us where the speed traps were and the fastest way back to the 95.

If I never see Yamassee again, it will be too soon, but I was glad to have met a man unscarred by the racism he had been dealing with on a daily basis.
R
Yes Rod, I couldn't wait to leave the Florida I grew up in. There are still huge problems in the Miami area, but racism is not so blatant.

Donna, terrific ancdote and so, so telling. "arkies" is not a term I heard. I did hear the N word. Alot.

I think the deep south still has a long way to go, based on many of the politicians speaking up there.
I recall those times, though I was but a child. I always remember the times when violence seemed so close, when the smoldering hate seemed almost at the flashpoint in my town. We were blessed, I think, that it never erupted. One of few places that didn't.

People may die, but it takes more than hate to kill a dream. Dreams die hard. Doctor King's dream is one that we must always keep alive.

Rated. A very touching tribute for a man who touched so many.
You really lost me at this point:

"In the span of my lifetime, the great civil rights leader’s dream of an America where his children “will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character” has just about come true."

A wishful take on the times we're in.

But I applaud your background of activism and unwavering belief that MLK's dream can come true.
Thank you for the essay.
Stellar, Lea. I am so glad you chose to share these memories and stories. My father was at seminary, and good friends with Rev. Young - very funny to picture a short Scot with the thickest of brogues working with the leaders for social justice and equality.

Your stories are always incredible, but I especially like how you bring to life the terrible conflict of that time, with such lovely snippets of bravery and love intertwined.
Elegant and elegiastic, Lea
Both your activism and your writing honor a challenge that we continue to make progress on and should keep front and center until it is only a bad memory.
Lea, thanks for this. As a kid, I lived for four years in Memphis (in the early sixties, this was), and as a transplanted northerner, so much seemed strange (even if northern states had their own variety of racism). There was absolute segregation - black people were maids, or ditch diggers, or maybe waiters at the country club - there was no other contact - the newspaper, the Memphis Commercial Appeal, used to identify blacks in, say, traffic or criminal cases as "So and So, Negro" - the front page carried a cartoon called, I believe, "Hambone". of an old darky - this word applies - given to humorous, semi-literate musings - the city closed down the public swimming pools when ordered to integrate, so everyone sweltered - once it seemed clear that the public schools might have to integrate, the first thing they did was cancel all school dances and social activities, so that there would be no 'race mingling' - parents began sending their kids to the Catholic schools, since they were private and could (and did) practice racial discrimination - we were living elsewhere when King was assassinated, but old neighbors called us on the phone, celebrating - and on and on.

Things are not perfect nowadays by a long shot. Things are better.
Let me take a minute to tell you about my south.

First I was way down on the list of kids, so dad was older that most of my friends dad. But in the dining room was a Nigger Knocker autographed by Gov. Maddox himself. When I was young, the only black person in the house was the maid.

As I grew older the black employees started to come by, then come in, then stay for dinner. By the time I went to college nobody cared what race you were. You were you. A couple of us kids even dated some black people.

The Nigger Knocker stayed around. Why? As a reminder of where things were compared to where the had gotten to. By the time dad died, nobody knows where it went.

In my south the only people who have race issues are those who always want to make something of it be they black or white.
Jane, I know you have great empathy and do good work, and yes I've been an activist too, and the feeling was wonderful. The US has come a long way, but the mood is different now. I don't see young people "caring" the way they seemed to then. The causes are different. I was active in the gay right's movement in the 70s on a campus when most gays were still in the closet, and that was the closest I have come to feeling the same way.

Bill, the KKK and other groups espoused violence. Limbaugh sounds closest to that today. He just can't be as blatant.

alsoknownas, I wrote "just about." We have a black president, black leaders, black beauty winners --those were impossible to consider when I was a child. Racism remains, but King's dream is closer.

Alison, those working for civil rights were from across the board. It was exciting to meet so many different types of people, believing in a cause.

Nikki, much appreciated.
Amen Lea. well said.
thank you, Lea, for your remembrance and your contributions to the cause
It must have been exhilarating to be "part" of a cause like civil rights, or against the Vietnam war, causes that were easy to see what was right and wrong. You had a real ringside seat in the south too. In many ways things have changed for the better, but there is still so much to be done. One thing I am certain of, if MLK had been blessed with long life he would have been filled with joy and pride last January 20th.
Thank you for sharing your remarkable experiences.
:-)
I like how your vivid personal experiences reflect what was going on in society. You brought the large scale down to the small scale.
Lovely.
Quite often the "I Have A Dream" speech echos in my head and I have to listen to it again and I always weep from deep inside.
I grew up in Tennessee and listened to my father and grandfather talk about the "niggers" they worked with. After our school was desegregated I was begged by my mother to hide my friendship with the "colored" girls from my father. I wonder now what they would say if they could see my beautiful, wonderful mixed race grandson.
I'm so glad you had the honor of visiting with Benjamin Mayes.
We still have miles to go...
Had to do it. "Let freedom ring..." is loudly playing on YouTube as I write this. Thank you, Lea.
Hawley, "challenge" is right.

sixtycandles, boy do I remember "segregation." Today that is gone, officially. We tend to choose friends of similar interests but no signs. It rears it's head now and then, but is knocked down pretty fast.

catnlion, I was living in Atlanta when Lester Maddox and his sticks and hatchets were around. That was horrific. Nice to hear of the changes in your southern house, but there are still pockets of racism throughout the country.

Chicago Guy, Roy, and spotted mind, thanks and amen.

ablonde, yes it was exciting. You get it. It must have been the same feeling that our soldiers in WW2 felt--we were on the "right" side (not the right wing). Nothing like it today, except maybe gay rights.
Wonderful to read your reflections. Every step we gain, we have to stop and maintain it before we get to take another step. Slow, but it is progress.
Wonderful; I learned things, I thought and I felt energized not to give up on this world. Thank you.
I believe we will always have to stay vigilant, lest we forget. Thanks for this thoughtful exploration, Lea.
good post
however, we must not get stuck in the 60's thinking nothing has changed
a lot of people still functi0n and talk as though the racial situation is exactly the same
that makes them reactionaries, yes there are now many liberal reactionaries
the past is much easier to deal with than messy, far more difficult and uncertain reality
Denise, when there is something as huge as a "movement" it has to come down to personal experiences to convey it.

Sharon, I didn't include the "n" word as one I used, because I didn't. Some friends would go "Eine, meenie, miney mo, Catch a nigger by the toe." I learned it as "tiger" by the toe. And there was another term, "schwarze" (probably misspelled). That's the Yiddish term for black, and it was a demeaning term that well-off people often used in Miami Beach to refer to their maids. It always offended me, and I never used that term either. I was offended that Jews who had just realized about the holocaust could be so insensitive to others.

mypsche, patience is the key to most movements. As I mentioned earlier, health care for all is a goal, but it will take many years to achieve it. We must at least pass a bill to improve our awful system, and then work to improve it and fight to keep it.

Ann, we should never give up.

Bonnie, I think younger people don't care much about race, except for some wingnuts. But some older people still retain the racist beliefs they were brought up with.
It's quite a life you've led, Lea. This is a powerful recollection of looking at our past, seeing how far we've come and knowing that there's still work to be done.
Gail, the world is so full of sad, hurtful, negative things. We must fight for the good.

Kathy, Barack Obama's election means so very much to so many who fought the fight. Of course things are better now. But bigotry lies below the surface when people are ignorant and afraid.

Zyskander, I am honored to receive your magnificent poem. Was it written previously? It is moving and wonderful!
Fewer wingnuts are following the leaders this time. Perhaps that's some progress. I'll take whatever we get.

I viewed most of this from a comfy distance as a child. Found it interesting that the KKK jokes found their way into my community even though there were no blacks here. As an adult I spent a year working on Louisiana. It was quite a culture shock.

King's speech still gives me goosebumps, though it's sad we still struggle with many of the same issues. I try to see the positive. Imagine our country today had you and Chaim and the others not broken the apartheid which existed at the time.
Wow. You were really there! So much work has been done and so much still to do.

Thank you for the work you've done. This is a passionate post.
Racism in America now seems to have become a saleable commodity like everything else. Limbaugh and Beck and other clones go on TV and radio and the internet and say the most vile things, and they're rewarded with big book deals and even bigger contracts. And it's not so easy to create a counter-commodification in anti-racism, especially with the politically correct around insisting that it be all nice and, well, dull. Really the opposite to commodified racism is commodified rage like Dave Chappelle, who is great, but hardly acceptable to the Bill Moyers crowd. So I would say, there is racism and then there are racial divides. This is not always the same thing, but it has a similar effect.
I really enjoyed your personal reflections on an important issue that (ideally) matters to us all.
Julie, live long enough and your life becomes more interesting. I do think I've often been in the right place at the right time.

Z, Yiddish is a dialect of German. Most of the people who used that term were using it as slang -- a Yiddishism. There was a pejorative connotation.

L&P. so true.

Jim, yes the good news is that only the Becks and Limbaughs talk like that, and their dittohead followers. It is out of style to be blatantly racist or antisemitic.

Gwendolyn, I was there and I was all over the place. I've lived many lives.

BOKO, interesting point. But I keep coming back to the fact that we have a black president. And mixed marriages. And all that. So in the major ways we've come far from when I was a child.

Thanks, Caroline.
A wonderful post, Lea. There is much to remember and much yet to do.
Excellent post, Lea. I am sad that, while many things have changed, fear and misinformation and ignorance still drive racist (and other prejudiced) attitudes and actions. I was 14 when MLK was assassinated and wrote in my diary, "What is this screwy world coming to?" We still live in a screwy world. Jon Stewart's been doing some great satire and out-of-the-box race-related pieces this week that I'm sure are available on the show's site. Thanks for sharing your insights!
Great post Lea. My daughter's manager at the local Guess store at the mall asked her if she was willing to work Monday. She said it was some "It was some kind of Milk Holiday, and we're expecting the store to be busy." My daughter 19 year old daughter informed her 20 something manager that the milk holiday was actually a national holiday in remembrance of Dr. Martin Luther King. Her blushing manager said indignantly, "Well, can you work?"

Baby steps....
What a breat-taking post. Thank you for jolting my memory of a history I too lived, even though passively. I'm so amazed at how much change our generation has seen, although we still have ways to go.
R
wow, we in and around the South these days have no idea how bad it was not so very long ago.
MLK, Jr. spoke in all white GrossePointe, MI in the early 60's. What a stir that caused. I was up there last week and saw so many African-American children in the schools. Progress. Slow. But nevertheless, progress. Thanks for sharing your memories and reflections.
Thank you. Maria. Always more to do.

Deborah, screwy is a nice way to put it.

Brie, MILK. As in MLK? Funny, I guess, but frightening too.

Thanks, Fusan. We made it through.

worst kept secret, didn't know it was a secret. So now you know.

grif, step by step. I have learned patience from taking part in this movement.
Life in America for Black people is a daily struggle against injustices. Most Whites can't see or understand it because it does not happen to them. (walking in another's shoes). I remember one of the news man from NY admitting on television how his Black counterpart or peer would have a difficult time getting a cab. ( still exists in 2010).

This past year a White woman apologized to me for her family owning slaves. Her father was a doctor in Alabama. I nodded and pretended it was okay because that is what you do when some one tells you something like that. It was not ok but what was there for me to do. (shrug)

And what most Whites don't grasp is that our ancesters came over here in bondage not through Ellis Island as so many Americans are proud of. We are composites of our ancesters, we heard and know so many of the stories of brutality, death and or having to sneak out of town to avoid lynching. Whites heard their own stories. The constitution was not written to include Black people period.

Every right attained was legislated by the government for Blacks. But we have made some inroads including a Black President. And yes we have evolved with what we are called and probably will continue as the races mix.

We stand on the shoulders of leaders like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. His leadership and efforts made inroads for Blacks, White women, Hispanics and other minorities whose rights were suppressed.

A facebook friend wrote i felt was an appropriate response: Robertson and Limbaugh both said some pretty disgusting things, yes. But if you fight against their right to free speech and win, can you guess whose right(s) will be taken next? rated~
Your life is extraordinary in so many ways, Lea. This is a wonderful reflection. What's remarkable is that the racial atrocities of the MLK era occurred so recently. That our nation could progress from "whites only" fountains to the Obama presidency in a short time illustrates the speed at which progress can occur when enough people struggle for it. And as you indicate, much work remains.
Ollie's daughter, I so appreciate your comment. There is no way to walk in your shoes, but at least we can walk beside you. Here's to continued improvement in relations between all people.

Steve, if you had grown up in that era I have no doubt you would have responded as I did and as so many others did.
Oh, My Dear Lea- Stunningly, achingly said!
Those of us who remember how far we have come, also easily recognize the depth of racial bigotry, whenever it rears it's ugly head...no matter how veiled with political platitudes and "religious," certitude.
I was raised in a Midwestern household, where my dad's neighborhood friends from childhood were in and out, regularly sharing meals and T.V. dinners, talking about the "old days," while all of us kids played, whispered secrets and giggled together. I honestly took no note of ethnic differences. These were Daddy's buddies and wives and new lids for me to play with....and adults and children alike, were easy and affectionate with one another.
I also remember being SHOCKED, in the late 50's, when a girlfriend visited relatives in the South, then related stories of segregated water-fountains and bathroom faccilities, "Men," Women," and "Colored's." It was a foreign concept to me, and completely appaling.
Happy Birthday, Dr. King. We getting closer to your mountaintop...we just need to navigate and eradicate the remaining boulders.
-rated-
Hands down, this is the finest post I have ever had the privilege of yours to read. Hands down, this is one of the finest posts I have had the privilege to read. Period. With love (and tears streaming down my face). Thank you for being the human being that you are. xoxo
I work in a major, international law firm. The black attorneys (there were 2 of them) were the first laid off. Two black secretaries as well. Now we're down to blacks in the mailroom and taking care of the conference rooms (serving meals). Our VP-Human Resources (the final word on lay-offs) is 73+ years old. Texas is a little behind the curve. Still.

But we do have two MLK parades. One is called the "Original". The other one came about when one of the Original Parade guys got a permit for the parade one year, but decided to start his own parade.

Oi vey.
Great post, Lea! I live in the south. My uncle once made us get out of the river because a black family arrived with their innertubes. Even then, I was like, "What!?" Twenty years later, there remains a lot of casual racism. Not the obvious cross-burning hatred of yesteryear, but a lot of seperation and othering that prevents anyone from moving forward. Lots of smarty pants comments about the MLK holiday, even if they do enjoy the day off.

It especially pains me when I'm faced with the prejudice from people of my parent's generation. I never know what to say. I'm not comfortable keeping quiet, but these are old folks; they aren't likey to change their minds. They could intimately know a hundred Hokes from Driving Miss Daisy and they'd still forswear the idea that "them negroes" are an equal people.
As usual Ellen you are exquisitely empathic. Yes, we have to navigate the boulders but we can all see the mountain top in the distance.

P, you like it. You *really* like it. Many thanks for the kind words and for feeling the memories.

skel, let's just say civil rights are meted our rather begrudgingly in some pockets. The rest of us have to be vigilent.

bellwether, I think you're right that it's hard to change older people's minds much. I too kept my mouth shut too many times listening to the rants of elders. I just didn't agree and let my silence and actions speak for themselves.

So glad you came by, and welcome, welcome to OS.
Lea Lane. Thanks. I reread slowly.
I am running out of things to think.
There are new birdsongs each day.
Soon we can walk down Love Lane.
Soon it'll be Springtime. Lea Lane.
Yesterday was my daughters b-day.
I'll send this to my` Dear Christine.
She tossed me the `Flower bouquet.
I Still anticipate strolls into swamps.
Why can't politico's emulate M.L.K.?
Lea- Thanks for the snippets of memory, I felt like I was right there with you. I can see your same innocence and path to wisdom reflected in my own children as they drink in the battles of today's world.
We've come a long way from those dangerous days of the '50's and '60's, but humans, being what they are, will never completely overcome the ugliness of racism. Your post reminds us of that fact, and reminds us as well that despite the great progress we've made, inspired by truly great men of all races, it is an ongoing effort. Martin Luther King's birthday is a good time to reflect on that fact, and to consider what we can do to make this world a better place for everyone.
I grew up in the south. My family was divided between outward racist and more liberal and less aggressive when it came to race. My grandparents lived in a very small Mississippi town of around 300 people. The downtown area consisted of a feed store, appliance store, 5 and dime, two cafes (one for whites and one for blacks ironically the all white one was named Blacks after the owner) a drug store, a clothing store and super market. The town had 2 churches, one white one black. My grandparents although Presbyterian attended the baptist church because the Presbyterian church was black.

My family lived in Ft Worth, but would spend a few weeks each summer visiting my grandparents. Since my parents were divorced the real racist element of the family (my father) did not have an influence on attitude towards blacks so the N word was never used in the house, my mother for her generation was liberal by 50s and 60s standards and did not teach us to hate any group based on race or religion. My grandparents although by today's standards would be racist in the 50s and 60s were considered liberal. They has a house cleaner and handyman (both black) who they paid higher wages to and provided down payments for homes and even money for surgeries when needed. The never used the N word or treated anyone with disrespect and they lived in the heart of Mississippi. That was the type of family I grew up with.

Now my father on the other hand was an aggressive racist and displayed outward hatred for blacks. When we would visit him it was a real shock to what we had been taught by my mother. He was a mean racist and would go out of his way to degrade blacks. He represented what was wrong with the South. My father was what most people considered the typical southerner, but in reality he was part of the small minority that controlled the attitude of the racism in the south.

It was not that southerners were more racist than the north they were just less sneaky about it. The north did not have that very vocal and aggressive group. When my family moved to Ohio I found just as much racism, but it was less outward and sneaker. They may have not had white only signs, but the division of the races was just as prevalent. Segregation was obtained by means of economics.

The only way to end racism is by economic equality. Race barriers break down once the social economic barriers do. People group together based on education, economics which create like lifestyles. When these things are the same skin color becomes less and less of a factor.
Art, honored to have you come by and add a few amazing lines, as always.

Melissa, sounds like you have special children, sensitive to the world around them.

M Todd, a wonderful comment. You have a truly interesting background between your differing parents and your deep south grandparents. It's rarely black or white when it comes to blacks and whites.

Steve, the danger element of lynchings and KKK murders are past, but danger lurks below the surface, especially when drinking, drugs and guns get involved.
You were part of it, Lea. Quite astonishing how far we have come, and how much there is yet to do. The inequalities may be less deliberate today, less overt. But anyone who thinks they don't exists doesn't live where I live or travel where I travel. Thanks for this.
Less overt, but still there --witness Limbaugh. Thanks, Frank.
Thank You, Lea for celebrating Dr. King

And the racial comments from the supposed righteous about Haiti? Talk about knocking a people when they're down ...
What an extraordinarily eloquent account of so many amazing and courageous experiences. You speak for all those who moved with such hope and despair and renewed determination toward today, only to be reminded yet again, what hate can do to reason.

Thank you for this, Lea, we all need to be reminded, over and over, that for many others, it's never over.
I have such a hard time comprehending those times, Lea. That people actually designated separate water fountains makes my heart hurt. Your memories are a powerful snapshot of where we were. Hopefully one day, today's bigotry will be as unimaginable to future generations as the separate water fountains are to me. Excellent piece as usual, Lea.
Beautifully said. I wish we were closer to the dream down here in Arkansas.
Scarlett, empathy is not a strong point of racists.

Sally, thanks for your support, as usual. You do write the kindest comments.

Lisa, when I was young in the south, that's the way fountains were --colored and white. I didn't realize people could drink out of either.

Sister, it may take a while. Keep the faith.
Beautifully reflected and written, Lea. The perpetual march toward a land without racism...so surreal in it's possibility; sublime in it's message. Humans may be incapable of such lofty expectations, though their purpose on earth is to live and let live. All being equal in God's eyes, so many are contrary in their thinking and actions. The fight for might is the battle cry heard in many languages, colors and creeds.
So sad.
This is a beautiful tribute and a poignant look back. I have so much respect and admiration for your husband's commitment. Long live the Dream. r
Excellent! Your life parallels that of an amazing woman who was director of my department at a county agency that provides day programming for adults with developmental disabilities. So committed was our director to racial equality, when the four white managers at my facility retired, she promoted the black manager that remained to facility manager and hired three black and one white manager to replace the others, including me vShe hired black managers elsewhere and also pushed for more than one token black on the agency's board and was apparently given a great deal of greif for her efforts because she retired before I completed a year as manager. I retired too when I became the target of the HR department when my raise was approved by the board and was more than the HR Director's salary - she seemed to think I was making big bucks working parttime as a reporter for a local weekly.

Anyway, I admire your activism and this post.

Rated
Excellent, well written post!
Cathy, yours was a haunting comment. Much wisdom.

Joan and Mrs. Dalloway, thanks. And I too admired my husband's participation. He rarely talked about it, but as a well-known man in his field, he often influenced others to fight for good causes.

Frogtown Diva, I'm so delighted that you understood the feelings in my participation. I didn't walk in your shoes, but I tried to walk beside you. These giants of the 60s movement sacrificed so that gains were made. I cannot imagine what King would have felt to see our president.
Thank you, Lea. I remember a remark once made by a very jaded old liberal at whose feet I once sat who, when I asked what was going to happen and when regarding the continuing bigotry within the country: "Not enough of my generation have died yet." Now I am in that same older generation and I am afraid that, in spite of much progress, I have to say the same thing about my generation.

Excellent post.

Monte
I like to think that Pat Robertson and his kind are a shrinking minority. I think God can wear any face and when Pat Robertson tries to get into heaven, he may encounter a black lesbian God.

Lucy
So wise, as usual Monte.

Lucy, that last line is just great. I shall use it often.
Lovely, Lea. Things have changed so much in our lifetime that the sentiments of Limbaugh and Robertson are becoming rarer. (I have two words for them, and it's not "merry Christmas.")
Unfortunately, not rare enough. My brother moved to Louisiana about ten years ago and is constantly startled by the antagonism toward Obama. People may not use "those words" any more, but bigotry is still there, just more subtle.
lovely Lea:

As if I needed more reason to love you and what you say. You write about travel and life like a friend from way back, an observant eye, attentive to the worthwhile who and what. You make me appreciate your privilege without jealousy, because something ineffably sweet comes thru; such lively joi de vivre, to commit a redundancy.

Then this. Of course: someone who writes like you has been on the side of the plain old angels all along, the workaday saints, the do-rights.

all of joy and goodness to you, my fine friend. King lives!
Cranky Cuss, yes it's now coded, but the meaness remains.

Greg, oh my. You touch my heart.
Lea, what an excellent view of the times we are given from your child's eye through your adult life. The way you tied the relevant events of the years to your own life gave it a life few history books could do. You let us time travel, how rare and special.

I wish bigotry were passé but I am sad to say while on my vacation I heard conversations between adults who should know better...and left an entire table of diners who made me lose my appetite with their ignorance.
Sad to hear that Sheila. Sad to say, I've heard it recently too in certain circles.
Tremendous tribute to the times, Lea . . . thank you for this.
You’re a lovely person, Lea, through and through.

It’s heartbreaking looking at those pictures. Our 4-year old was asking about the holiday on the 19th, and he’s old enough for us to begin answering his questions in more detail. But the truth is that it’s all still fairly incomprehensible to me.