Forget the iPad. How About the iPuke? The iPeek? Etc

We’ve gotten used to the iPod and the iPhone; now here comes the iPad. In the coming years I assume we can look forward to a host of other magic gadgets, solving problems with alliterative names:
The iPop Pops corn while you watch movies. Also tells you to come home by 11 or you can’t have the car.
The iPit Removes pits from fruit, so that you can eat healthfully and text at the same time.
The iPitt Simulates hunky Hollywood dudes of choice, including Brad Pitt and George Clooney (would have been called the iClooney, but didn’t have the same alliterative zing).
The iPoke Gets people’s attention when they’re too involved with their other gadgets.
The iPox Vaccinates you against all poxs, flus, and fevers, including denge.
The iPuke Rehabilitates bulemics.
The iPoop Helps you evacuate in perfect form.
The iPeep Lets you look into people’s bedrooms. Also incubates chicks.
The iPat Gives encouragement when you’re feeling down.
The iPlay Cures workaholics.
The iPrank Plays practical jokes on your friends and co-workers.
The iProd Gets couch potatoes up and running.
The iPsyche Listens to your emotional problems and helps you embrace them.
The iPrep Cuts veggies and helps you get into Ivy League schools.
The iPot Allows you to cook veggies (see above), while procuring illegal substances.
The iPet Waits for you at the door with slippers.
The iPutt Helps with your golf game.
The iPep Takes the place of Red Bull and other energy drinks.
The iPlop See iPoop above.
The iPrez Makes our president keep his promises.


Salon.com
Comments
Love yours!!!
iPlotz: For all the news that makes you want to die.
iPull: When you have gas and are too lazy to stick out your finger.
God help me. I know I'll come back to this. Funny, funny, funny.
This was wonderfully funny stuff. Thank you so much. iPop's, iPeep's and iPrep's dual functions, were especially witty.
Personally I prefer the free and fully functional iPause which renders me unable to purchase new Apple releases until the software geeks up and the price comes down.
Rated and very much appreciated.
iPutz for squleching outlandish politicial
iPolish for sucking up to you boss.
iPoach - for stealing stuff, or cooking eggs.
Anyway, Lea, very clever. I bet this one gets passed around.
I like iCaramba. Ha...and iPit.
iPan for frying up that low-fat sustainable wild salmon patty when you just can't get off the couch.
iPork for when you just gotta watch one more episode with Miss Piggy from the Muppet Show. Also useful for recording earmarks for your state during election season.
Thanks for the laugh out loud post, Lea!
And how about iPassport? You wouldn't have to renew.
iPush - might be helpful for pregnant women
iPray - for agnostics and those not currently aligned
iPan - for either cooking or movie reviewing
iPonder - when you're too tired to think deep philosophical thoughts without help
Scroll down to #8.
http://www.cracked.com/article_16032_the-25-most-disturbing-sex-toys_p2.html
I’d buy the iDrive (without regard to price!) so I don’t always have to be the designated driver.
iPleasure, to give you what you want when you want it.
And thanks everyone, especially you multiples. Maybe we can catch Steve Jobs eye and he can hire us for future projects. That would be the
iDream Lets you fantasize!
Thanks for this.. good times.
iRATED for humorous value.
Then of course, there's the iPout, for, well, whatever.... it's kind of self-explanatory.
Stepping away from the computer.....
or iPest, which could be used to get rid of your cockroaches or your mother-in-law
iPope, for lapsed Catholics who want a pope in their pocket, and speaking of pockets ...
iPocket, for those who need one so that their pants can fit better and they don't carry a purse, which leads to
iPurse, for those who don't want overstuffed ones (as I have just posted about!--shameless plug), which reminds me of the
iPlug, for instant drain stoppage or
iPlumber, so you don't have to call one ...
But we can do more than "P"s ....
iped--instant pedicure with extra long massage.
ipack--packs all your clothes and toiletries for your trip.
oh, this is fun! Love this ipost!!
Charo's is the i-aye-aye.
The one I'm waiting for is the iNevergetacallthatgoeslikehellothisisbloodyericwhothefuckisthisbuddythehellyousay
I'm ploppin' down folding money for that one.
iPunt: Whips up important assignments you'd completely forgotten about until the day they're due.
iProwl: Cougar-assist technology that surreptitiously scans young men's trouser snakes.
iPfeh: Doesn't give a damn about anything.
-R-
Verbal, iPan could also be used in the kitchen with
iPam-- keeps the iPan from sticking.
And Lady Miko, we can always count on you to get to what counts --and what will sell more than an any iPhone! :)
iSteer - Autopilot for those too clueless to keep their hands on the wheel
iPlug - Breath-activated device that shuts your mouth to keep you from putting your foot in it when you've had one too many
I want one of those iPranks. ;)
And some days, I could use a nice iPal, who would tell me everything will be alright.
iGuy and the iGal? Electronic dates you can turn on and off at will.
iKvetch, records all phone calls from your mother.
iPolls: for pols to judge their panders
iCandy: for your sweet tooth (I know, no p)
iSpy: for the CIA
V, I especially like the feature with eyes in back of the iParent, kind of like the two camera faces on the iPad.
iCandy is a natural, Pilgrim.
iPussy may be what we will wind up calling him, alas.
iPack - Packs your suitcase and rehabilitates wayward dogs
iPoof - Gives your hairdo an instant lift
iPick - for people who have a hard time choosing between one thing and another
iPill - cures your computer virus and reminds you to take your birth control
@sixtycandles - your comment almost made me bust a lung from laughing so hard!
Hee hee hee. Mac's iPad. hee hee hee
How about the iYar? Like the apple version of Pirate Day?
iSit--For those days when you just need to rest.
iSnark--For those days you just can't come up with a witty rejoinder.
(Great post!!)
iPlod, for non-techies who don't get it so easily
iPreen, with mirror, for narcissists
iPhuck, for those who fake it.
how to get rid of a yeast infection
Here's mine:
iLie: portable device that vibrates/ringtones when you lie.
iMoe: when your friends do something stupid the device goes "woopwoopwoop" and slaps them both. Alternate settings include pulling their hair out and poking them in the eye. Attachments include hammers, breakaway plates, and plumbing.
If you your friends get the compatible iCurly and ILarry, you can do interactive games.
iJerk: um, well, it's a personal hygiene device.
iClap: when you sit thru a whole State of the Union speech and palms get red and sore.
I win !!!!
;)
iSpy - for government, corporate or personal use
And how could I have not connected iPoke with the three stooges? Blew that one.
And Greg, yes, thaiPad is hard to beat.
iPredict Apple will steal all of your ideas.
iDunno.......for the idiots out there----an opportunity for them to simply own up to it.
iPlotz, which is what I needed after seeing Scott Brown take Teddy Kennedy's old seat, and what Ted Kennedy WOULD have done if he hadn't done it already.
iPump, for handshakes that matter, and to get water in an emergency.
iPlump, if you want to lose weight.