Unexpected Lovers: How Passover Brought Us Together
powerwebbook.com
Why does love come to mind Monday at sundown? I will tell you.
Chopping apples and walnuts for the ritual paste called charoset, the cinnamony fragrance takes me back eleven years, when I first celebrated the Passover holiday with Chaim, the man I loved. Chaim Stern was a rabbi who wrote prayerbooks for the reform movement of Judaism. This includes the slim Haggadah prayerbook that thousands of families use at their holiday table, reading the tale of Moses leading his people from oppression in ancient Egypt.
The seder meal is filled with symbols of that Exodus, featuring matzoh, the unleavened bread which sustained the Israelites in the desert. Guests read from the Haggadah before the matzoh ball soup and gefilte fish and brisket, and then --too full-- after the fruit salad and macaroons.
The tablecloth stained with wine, children squirming, we read the rituals in Hebrew and English, sometimes responsively, and sometimes on our own. Words and prayers of the past.
But these words remind me of my own past with the man who was to become my husband. Chaim was editing this book when we were living together – an unexpected romance coming soon after his wife had died. And so this Haggadah is dedicated to me in a hidden way—as he wrote it: “For All My Beloved, living in me and living with me.”
I will again look at the dedication and remember how he smiled at me when I first discovered that he wrote those loving words so cryptically.
The man smiling at my side this year will not be Chaim, who died in 2001. In fact, the man at my side is not Jewish, and this will be the first seder of his life.
He is now the man I love.
And so this Passover, the man I love will be reading and speaking the words written by the man I loved.
Love often comes when you least expect it, often with someone you least expect, as it did with both of these men. And this Passover I will be reminded that good men may not share religions or backgrounds, but they can share values and qualities.
And I think that Chaim would understand this and give his blessing to me, and to the wonderful man in my life and at my side this Monday night, at sundown.
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Comments
@ Cartouche: "mushy gefilte fish?"
So, Ms no-longer-solo-traveler, Monday night tell your new love, Next Year in Jerusalem. May your Passover and the times to come be filled with joy.
and
Dorinda, come join in, and I'm with you. I like fun.
Trilogy, glad you asked that question. I once made homemade gefilte fish and it was pretty awful. Mushy enough for Cartouche.
Sally, being no longer the solo brand is kinda weird. But nice.
Algis, nor you!
Ann, l'chaim.
Spud, gefilte fish is chopped whitefish molded into a shape like a block of pate, or a French quenelle. You can buy it in a jar and taste for yourself. (I once tried making it from scratch and it took half a day. It tasted awful. Back to the jar.) And eat it with horseradish.
And trilogy, I know that gefilte fish in a jar looks pretty bad in that jellied sauce. But it tastes pretty bland. Lots of horseradish and you might even like it.
Yes... love does come when you least expect it. This lovely post you write gives me much happiness for you.
Bell, I couldn't get over the idea of him reading Chaim's words, and Chaim somehow understanding.
Thanks, Cathy. It does say alot about the man now in my life that he honors my late husband.
Chuck, and your recent posts make me happy, as well.
Cranky, for the moment that's how I feel. But to love is to risk, and I am always aware of that, which is why I remained solo for so long.
Roy, Cindy and Shiral, many thanks and I will be thinking of you all as my friend celebrates with me.
(I learned Yiddish at Mt. Sinai) (Did I get it right?)
Have a lovely celebration. Hope a seed is planted for a new post because we'd enjoy hearing about your husband's first Seder.
Blessings on you and your new love. And many happy years together.
Monte
Monte, I understand the present tense. The words keep Chaim in the present. And yet....
Of course he would -- he obviously loved and respected you very much. May you continue to experience the joy, Lea.
For you on this night, my friend:
ברוך אתה ה 'אלוהים אלוהינו, מלך העולם, אשר העניקה לנו את החיים, שנגרמו לנו, אפשרה לנו להגיע באירוע זה.
Rated.
Bill, your kindness competes with your tech ability. Thanks, my friend.
Lezlie
aim, yes life is a circle in so many ways. I have learned to go with it.
Happy Passover. R
Love often comes when you least expect it
Just lovely! R.