Lea Lane

Lea Lane
Location
Florida, USA
Birthday
August 26
Title
author, Travel Tales I Couldn't Put in the Guidebooks, available at Amazon.com and on Kindle
Bio
“I’ve discovered the secret of life,” Kay Thompson, the eccentric entertainer and “Eloise” author, once said. “A lot of hard work, a lot of sense of humor, a lot of joy and a lot of tra-la-la!” And that's been my life: As a travel writer for over 30 years, I've been around the block (more like around the world), and I write true stories about interesting people and places. (Check out my travel site, Travels With Lea.) I've lived an unconventional life in conventional trappings. Been a corporate VP, worked with foster kids, acted in an Indie ("Nurse 1"), was on Jeopardy!. I've been managing editor of a travel publication, written for the Times, and authored books. OS is my home, but I also blog on The Huffington Post, and I've contributed (mostly anonymously) to everything from encyclopedias to guidebooks. Married young, divorced late; married late, widowed early, I dated lots in-between -- and survived a scary illness. After being happily, peacefully solo for many years, I'm now happily married again. I founded and still edit www.sololady.com, a lifestyle Website for single women. I'm truly grateful for each precious day, each well-earned wrinkle, my family, my cat. Truth, laughter, friendship, late love. And this blog -- on this wonderful site!

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NOVEMBER 4, 2012 2:26PM

Election Night is Almost Here: 8 Creative (!) Ideas

Rate: 19 Flag

 

 

Host a party (or even better, get invited to one)
Election night, like Oscar night or the Super Bowl, is the kind of communal event that calls for snark, laughs, hoots and hollers to relieve tension. It's also an easy way to pay back invitations without having to cook a sit-down dinner.

Set up your party area around the TV and have TVs in other rooms on different stations. Decorations could include red and blue flags, posters of dogs on top of cars, maps with pushpins, whatever.

Guests can come as their favorite candidate of 2012, but not necessarily the one they voted for. Prepare for a bunch of Herman Cains.

And for the most interesting mix of people, choose at least a few who don't agree with your point of view. Just be sure to put them through a metal detector before arriving. (At least do a pat down.)

Serve buffet style 
Disappointments are a real possibility. People will probably argue. Fists may be raised, and food may fly. Use paper and plastic, not china and crystal.

Forget chili and merlot. Offer finger foods that won't stain: ham and cheese sandwiches with mayo, potato chips, and popcorn are safe choices; ginger ale, beer or white wine are drinks of choice. And if your candidate wins, toast with champagne or prosecco. It will be worth it after getting through this campaign season.

But remember: If things don't go your way you may lose your appetite and just cry in the bathroom.

Be prepared for a long night 
Election results usually linger into the early morning before they are called. People will undoubtedly fall asleep on the couch, and may snore too loudly to hear the pundits. That's not a bad thing.

Do you have sleeping bags? Blowup beds? Enough towels? A willingness to have your best friend sleeping with your neighbor down the hall, the one you don't really like but felt obligated to invite?

Go interactive
Nowadays we can party virtually by going online. Stick with HuffPost's live blog. Or create a thread on another blog and chat away.

If you're on Facebook, friend Bill Maher immediately and be assured of laughs, insight and outrageous quotes to share throughout the night to make yourself the center of attention without having to come up with the lines yourself.

Play a drinking game 
Choose a word that won't get people sloshed before the first returns come in. "Democrat" and "Republican" won't do. On the other hand, to be sure that guests will drive home sober, choose the word "Bush."

Concentrate on Senate races as well as the POTUS
It probably will take a while for the presidential results to come in. Senate races will fill the void. Your own state is a starter. But interesting races include the wrestling lady who spent $100 million and isn't winning in Connecticut, and a whole bunch of idiotic white men who seem fixated on vaginas.

Watch Fox if you're for Obama 
Liberals, you've put up with it in doctor's offices. You've heard acquaintances quote Steve Doocy. You deserve payback.

In 2008, when it became clear that Barack Obama was winning, I left MSNBC and turned to Fox. Dick Morris sputtered out of the side of his mouth, and turned red. Hannity the Manatee, in disbelief, searched for solace and could not seem to find it. Britt Hume fumed.

It was wonderful. For the first time I enjoyed every single minute of that alternate universe. I hope to be doing it again on Tuesday night.

Be Prepared if the results do not go your way 
1) Finish the last opened bottle of booze, put on a sleep mask and call in sick.
2) Make an appointment with a bereavement therapist.
3) Get out that Canadian guidebook and Google "Housing in Vancouver."

 

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Comments

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I actually love this. If I were still doing Readers' Picks, I'd nominate this.
Thanks, Kosh. High praise indeed. Just wanted to lower the anxiety level, including my own.
You were doing great until you mentioned Vancouver. Oh, there's nothing wrong with Vancouver - lovely city -nice province. IF you can afford $400,000 to $500,000 for an average home.

You might want to take a look at the other side of the country - Prince Edward Island - where you can still get a nice home for under $50,000 and sometimes less than that. I know one person who retired here from Toronto. He bought a half-are bit of land overlooking the ocean for $6,000. He bought a great cottage (must be moved) for another $6,000. It cost him $4,000 to have it moved onto his property and about $3,500 to get all municipal services hooked up. So now he has it all for under $20,000. And because none of it cost him more than $30,000 (the cut-off point) he had no land-transfer taxes of any kind to pay!

Yup. I retired here too! Paid a bit more than that but still less than a 2 car garage in Vancouver. I have a half-acre of land in a lovely little village called Tignish. I wrote about living here in this blog:

A Prince Edward Island Evening;-)

Come for a visit anytime; I've got plenty of room for guests!

;-)
.
P.S.
I've also got room for RVs. Just boondocking and you can fill your fresh water tank.
.
Ewwwwww ... not Vancouver. No one can afford to buy there. And anyway, it rains all the time. Try far down in SouWestO. Maybe a nice little fishing village on the north shore of Lake Erie.

But, just so you know, I'm keeping this list handy for our next federal election.
Ok, I'm not up to speed on Vancouver. Just thought it was beautiful. I'll see if I have to look up some other area, maybe PEI. Will know on Wed!
Well I'll be watching it at a local pub/bar/restaurant with a couple of friends, one of whom is supporting Romney. Two years ago we bet on Obama's re-election so other factors aside, I have a $100 interest in the outcome. Looks like it will be a long night. I can't believe how many states are within the standard polling margin of error.
I am prepared with my bottle of prosecco!!
I don't want another eight years that are great for comedians. Been there, done that.

"I." That's my drinking game word if things go south.
You're on PEI? Damn. Sound gorgeous.
Oops. That last one was to Sky, not Lea. Lea is a bit south of there.
I love your sense of humor about this, and envy you for it. I feel a sense of dread mixed with eagerness and anticipation for the end to robocalling, nastiness, the media coverage to just....stop. We've been doing this for what seems like forever.
"a" is another good one. Lots of us will be drinking something, for one reason or another. Won't need a game on Tuesday night. I am nervous for the country, but what will be will be.
I'll watch Hannity when we win.

:)

r.

Amd yes, this should be on the cover.
hee hee. Will do this. I'll send you a recipe later, you, Martha of the Elections! Something nutty, maybe.
Play a drinking game -- lots of single malt scotch and take comfort that Mittmormon won't be drowning his defeat in booze -- at least not in public.

Be Prepared if the results do not go your way -- use Rosetta Stone to learn to speak Canadian, eh?
Vancouver is way the hell too expensive... try finding a small place in Newfoundland or Nova Scotia. Much cjeaper and not nearly as many hipsters. Other than that sound advice... R&R ;-)
I'm taking seriously your humorous advice to watch Fox News coverage of the election returns. If 2012 turns out like 2008, it will be fascinating to see how Hannity the Manatee (hadn't heard that one) tries to spin the numbers counter-clockwise.

Thoughtful Christmas stocking stuffer this year for conservative family and friends: Clocks that run backward.
I live in the boonies and probably will just 'party' by internet. I have a bottle of chocolate martini, which covers both necessities in one in case of losing, or even prolonged agony.
Very good ideas, Lea. Anything to lower the anxiety level. Although I'm pretty sure I will be biting my fingernails by myself this year... my husband said he doesn't think he can watch. :) ~r
Wonderful. This is why I included a chapter on Toronto in my new book. Thanks for the ideas, Lea, although mayonnaise can make grease stains in upholstery (just saying).
I should take that mayo out, Mary. And I realize Vancouver is expensive, but if I have to leave my country I'm going for the most beautiful place I can, and I love mountains. :)