This morning I'm walking along St. Charles Avenue. The plan is to walk to Borders, get there around 9 am (opening time), buy this book I'm looking for, catch the streetcar back, and be at work by 10.
I'm waiting to cross Howard Street at Lee Circle when I'm approached by a middle-aged tourist couple. They're out jogging. They're in matching jogging outfits. He is impossibly buff. She is impossibly thin and blond. Both are impossibly tan. They're from California. They want to know where is a good place to get breakfast around here, something "healthy, not like the greasy stuff you all eat around here. No bacon and grits. And no pastries. And clean, not dirty like all the places we've been in." They keep jogging in place while we wait for the light.
"Ummm...." I say. Truly, I want to help these people, but at 8:15 am in New Orleans, there's not a lot of healthy pickings. (There's never a lot of healthy pickings, but the pickings pick up around lunchtime.) I think about whether the P.J.'s Coffee will have some sort of wheat germ, all-natural, all-vegan special recipe punishment muffin or something. I ignore the "clean" comment because that just ain't gonna happen.
Then the husband says to me:
"You have gray hairs."
"Ummm, yes, I know," I say. (Huh?)
"How old are you?" the wife asks.
"Twenty-eight." (And how is it any of your damn business?)
"That's too young to have gray hairs!" the husband says.
"Well, apparently not," I reply. (What. The. Fuck.)
"And you don't color your hair?" the wife asks.
"No, I don't." (Obviously, dingbat.)
"Don't they make you feel old?" asks hubby dearest.
"Not as old as they make my mother feel!" I say, and change the subject. "Actually, you might want to try the Please U Restaurant just down the street. I've been there before--they've got a good breakfast."
(Note: the Please U Restaurant is a total filthy dive on St. Charles with excellent ham steaks, eggs, bacon, and grits that are drowning in butter, all for $5.99. Highly recommended.)
This is what the top of my head looks like when my hair is in a ponytail. (Yes, I know I have a cowlick in addition to the gray hairs.)
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loveinmexico
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Comments
But those were rude comments about Louisiana people and cuisine. I would have let 'em have it.
I like your head.
denese
I deal with tourists all day, five days a week. These folks were far from the rudest I've seen. The California ones, however, are usually the hardest to please when it comes to food.
There's a lot of nodding and smiling, nodding and smiling involved in my job.
California is the evil epicenter from which all bad ideas come.
Rated.
If I really gave a rat's ass about my gray hairs, I'd dye them. But I'm WAAAAYYYY too cheap and lazy to do anything with my hair but wash and comb it.
Someone mentioned to me that they saw a grey hair the other day. I responded with, "yeah, have had them since I was 15. What's your point?"
I LOVE your restaurant recommendations. Those two really deserved it. Rated.
:) Rated
Monte
I hope they sat around and could only drink black coffee. Grrr.
and now I want eggs, bacon and ham steaks. man. Sometimes, I miss Southern cooking.
T&D--Where exactly is The Hummingbird? I am a big fan of the sugar and the grease (and the Please U).
Now it looks like they might have relocated to Harahan. Which sort of blows my mind.
I told my husband about your post. He had a good laugh. His dad was dedicated to the Please U. He ate there two, three times a week - until he dropped dead at a relatively young age - not that I'm saying that there's a direct correlation ::cough::
that here in Northern California. They must have been from
Southern Ca. I'll go to the Please U if I'm ever in NOLA.
As noted you have a lovely head, and what's inside of it is what is most importat, and I love THAT! Please continue to confound evil toursts!
T&D--There are two "hotels" I think the Hummingbird could have been located at: one was The Audubon Hotel just past Lee Circle and the ramp to the Mississippi river bridge heading uptown, and the other seems to be just called The Hotel, I think at St. Charles and Julia or thereabouts just before you get to Lee Circle. Either way, very very sketchy.
I hope the tourist couple went for a bloody Mary at the St. Charles Tavern afterwards. I walk by and there's ALWAYS a crowd, even at 8 am. NOLA winos are so much more entertaining than regular winos...it's a special kind of crazy here.
Well, at least they didn't rub your belly and ask when the baby was due.
I am so eating at the restaurant next time I'm in NO just for the unhealthy breakfast you recommended to the health freaks.