“[It’s] under the guise of quote, volunteerism, but it’s not volunteers at all.  It’s paying people to do work on behalf of government. There are provisions for what I would call re-education camps for young people, where young people get trained in the philosophy the government puts forward and then they have to go work in these politically correct forums.”--Republican Minnesota Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann, speaking about Americorps.

As some of you already know, I was a highly-paid government operative, working in one of those Americorps re-education camps from 2002-2003.  I spent a year in a remote location in the wilderness, indoctrinating the very youngest Americans.  These pictures tell the inside story, and it is at great personal risk that I bring them forward.  But the truth must prevail.

A group of graduates of our program.  Here they are singing the song of praise to the Fatherland, which goes:  Put your sticks in the air and tap with me:  one, two, three.  Put your sticks on the floor and tap with me:  one, two, three.  Tap your sticks, one two three.  Tap your sticks is fun.  Tap your sticks, one two three.  Three, two, one.  (If you think this song sounds harmless, consider this:  six years after I left the re-education camp, I still sometimes wake up singing it for no reason, and it WON'T LEAVE MY HEAD.  If that isn't evil government mind control, I don't know what is.)

We lured them in with promises of candy and parties, then taught them to be masters of disguise.  Then we sent them out from house to house under cover of darkness to intimidate and threaten the residents if their demands were not met.

We taught them survival skills for combat in Arctic weather conditions.

We trained them to be good little propaganda artists.

We maintained the importance of Kinder, Kuche, und Kirche.

We indoctrinated them with manifestoes. 

We instructed them in the arts of living off the land, of selecting edible gourd vegetables and of roasting the seeds.

We forced them to face their natural fear of intimidating and bloodthirsty wildlife, and to overcome that fear.

We put them through rigorous obstacle courses to increase their levels of physical fitness.

We subverted their good Christian religious education by forcing them to sing I give thanks for blue skies over me, green grass under me, good friends beside me.  I give thanks for good food in front of me and peace all over the world before we would let them eat, and made them to perform this song with hypnotic and mind-controlling hand gestures.

Our secret re-education compound.  (We made it look like a converted 1950s roadside motel so that passers-by  wouldn’t be suspicious.) 

If you'll look closely, you'll see that that rug is printed with the Spanish alphabet instead of the real alphabet.  The plan was to turn the kids into Cuban spies without them ever realizing what hit them.

We lived together, as befits dirty commies.  Some of us even went shoeless in solidarity with the workers of the world.

Government agent clones!  Confounding the American people by their ability to both tutor 13-year-olds AND put new roofs on houses at the same time!

After their term of service was up, these commie bastards went out and bred MORE little government operatives.  And then they brought them back to the area of the re-education camp for a visit so that they could see where Mommy and Daddy spent a year of their lives transforming Amerika.  Will the madness ever stop?

Won't someone rescue these poor children?

They're...dead inside.  Just look at their eyes.

I'm sorry, little one.  I was young and naive about the true nature of what I was doing.  I hope you turned out OK despite it all.