
Driving around at night nowadays, I must say I am tired of tasteful Christmas decorations. I am tired of the endless tiny white icicle lights. I am tired of the green garlands wrapped just so around the railings . I am tired of the houses that look like they came out of Martha Stewart Living.
Where are all the big-bulbed flashing colored lights? Where are the Santas praying at the side of Baby Jesuses? Where are the inflatable yard angels? Where are the humping reindeer I remember so fondly from my childhood?
Look, they sell light-up pink flamingos in Santa hats at K-Mart. They sell Christmas hippos and Christmas pelicans and Christmas octupii.
My landlord won't let me string blinking colored lights on the fire escape/balcony.
You people with yards have no excuse. Tacky it up, folks.
BONUS FEATURE: From the basement of the AFI (the Abplanalp Film Institute), this 1982 gem shot entirely on location at the Batesville, Indiana, home of Ferdinand and Mary Magdalene Abplanalp using the pioneering technology of Handheld UnSteadicam. It stars a young yours truly as "Leeann," the little girl in the red dress who keeps obsessively sweeping up after everyone, can't keep her fingers out of her mouth, and can't sit her butt still for thirty damn seconds to take a group picture of all the grandkids. Soundtrack by the great Gene Autry.


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Grandma (the old lady with the bouffant and giant glasses) died at 82 in 2007.
The blond girl in the plaid skirt (Rita) is married and has five children of her own now.
The girl in the leg warmers (Chrissy) is married and has three.
The blond girl in the blue shirt mugging for the camera is a cop in Carmel, Indiana.
The man with the moustache is my father. The baby he's feeding is my brother Eric, who is supposed to enter training to be an air traffic controller any time now.
The blond girl in the green velvet jumper and tights who hits me upside the head for no reason is Marysue. She is a registered nurse, is married and lives in the very house this was filmed in with her husband, their 11-year-old daughter, and her younger brother Joey (the curly-haired blond boy in the red overalls).
JK--Flashdance.
Trig--Thanks, and yes, my mother was an Abplanalp.
C Berg--These were actually shot on 8mm. Video didn't enter my family until the summer of 1986, when Uncle Jim bought a GIANT camcorder in anticipation of the arrival of his first grandchild, Katie. (Katie's mother is the brown-haired 13-year-old girl here in the plaid blouse with the ruffles and lace on it.)
*shakes head & wanders off in search of sanity...*
"You are NOT getting one," he told me.
He's no fun. *pouts*
Fishing--Me too. I figure if you're gonna go fake and tacky, go fake and tacky.
AshKW--He's no fun.
Jeff-That TOTALLY counts.
Around these parts, there was a place near Bucktown we used to call Candyland owing to the way people displayed their Christmas decoration finery. Now that it's been "gentrifed" - no more glory.
Loved watching your family footage - have a great Christmas!
wait 'til i post a pic of our ugly tree. but i don't have any big flashing colored lights. some hideous garland, though. you'll see.
happy whatsmas, leeandra. hope the eggs are warm.
Nelly--I'd heard that about Al Copeland's place, but never got around to seeing it before he died. Yes, he is the founder of Popeye's Chicken and Biscuits, and for that alone I love him.
In Versailles (pronounced ver-sales) Indiana, there's a house that looks like Candyland crossed with the Griswolds. People drive from all over to come see it. One year we went and took our cousin Joey (the blond curly-haired toddler in this movie). He was about 8 or 9 at the time. We stood there in silence, taking in the awesome crappy wonder that was this house's Christmas decor, and Joey said, "You know HIS wife can't say to him 'What have you been doing? Sitting on your ass all day?' 'No, woman, I've been stringing up Christmas lights!'" We all burst out laughing because we could totally hear Aunt Judy and Uncle Joe having that conversation. It was a magical Christmas moment.
Femme--Do post. The eggs should have hatched 3 days ago at the latest. I don't know what happened. Jane continues to sit on them, turn them, etc. I'm going to let her keep doing so until they hatch, she gives up, or they start to smell. I don't have the heart to do otherwise.
I would tacky it up---if I weren't so lazy. All I could really manage was putting a wreath on the door.
Merry Christmas.
Monte